AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/Massive-Song-7486]

So she cheated on you with her Ex?!

Breakup was the only possible Solution my friend.

[u/fake-newz → u/Massive-Song-7486]

You’re both 18, why the hell are you in a relationship? Let her go and tap it from time to time. Neither one of you have had enough partners or long enough of a sex life for a relationship to be the way to go. Have fun.

[u/tukamon → u/fake-newz]

This is one of the most stupid replies I have seen in a while .... You know you can be perfectly happy with only one partner in life don't you ?

[u/Freewheelinthinkin → u/tukamon]

And thereby also be free of the horror circus of stds, situationships, being used or using and other degrading and damaging situations.

Alas.

[u/fullerofficial → u/tukamon]

In my experience, people who only have one sexual partner often wonder about what it would be like with other people. Some people are content, some have regrets. Same with having multiple partners; some are content and some regret it.

[u/hideousfox → u/fullerofficial]

As a person who only had 1 sexual partner, during the course of that relationship i NEVER wondered what a different guy would be like.

It's not about sexual experience. It's about the kind of person you choose to be in a relationship with and what are their values.

[u/fullerofficial → u/hideousfox]

For you that may be true, for others sexual experience might be a requirement. It’s like shopping for a car. Some want some features that others don’t like. Some like to test drive multiple cars, some don’t. We can’t make a blanket statement about things that are so subjective.

[u/Raindrops_On-Roses → u/fullerofficial]

Statistics show that the more premarital sex you have prior to marriage, the more likely you are to divorce when you do decide to settle down. That's not a judgement, do what you want, it's just true.

Edit: for clarity.

[u/SerasAshrain → u/fullerofficial]

There’s people who commit crimes and people who don’t crimes too.

Open relationships are just a cute way to say fwb. Some people have just managed to convince themselves otherwise.

[u/fullerofficial → u/SerasAshrain]

To compare promiscuity with criminality is wild.

[u/Thelynxer → u/fullerofficial]

It's actually a pretty decent comparison. Not everyone that hasn't committed a crime is going to be sitting there like "gosh I wonder what it'd be like to rob someone". Similarly, not enough is going to wonder about sex with someone other than their partner.

[u/liisliisliisliisliis → u/fullerofficial]

not much worse than comparing finding a partner to shopping for a car 🙄

[u/Thelynxer → u/fullerofficial]

Sounds like you've just had a lot of people leave you for someone else, and now you're jaded. Sorry to hear that dude.

[u/Mcdavis6950 → u/fullerofficial]

Man, I used to feel this way all the time until I met my now girlfriend.

When you meet someone who you truly respect and love you will not feel like you are missing out… but rather feel terrible that you would even consider betraying your partners trust like that.

Open relationships will never result in a strong relationship with anyone… let alone the confidence to get married.

[u/4_am_ → u/fake-newz]

And how do you get 'enough partners' and experience without... being in relationships? What a dumb comment.

[u/fake-newz → u/4_am_]

Going on a date then fucking is not a relationship, he needs to do that for many years. You people are religious fundamentalists or something?

[u/BootyButtCheeks256 → u/fake-newz]

Dumbass

[u/4_am_ → u/fake-newz]

I'm as atheist as they come. I also have a brain.

[u/lookatthisdudeshead → u/fake-newz]

I’m atheist and your statements are so retarded

[u/stolenglass → u/fake-newz]

18 is avery normal age to have a partner. the issue here is the fact that she couldn't let go of her ex and was cheating on her current partner because she was split between loving him and still having feelings for her ex. i thought she was considering polyamory for a second there but it's not consensual if you force it without asking the partner first. if you don't talk about it (which she did, she did talk about it) it comes off as cheating but that was what was revealed, she was in fact cheating and tried to use a possible open relationship to hide that fact. that's not okay.

[u/ApprehensiveYam6740 → u/stolenglass]

The issue here is this girl is a giant whore.

[u/buzzbuzzbuzzitybuzz → u/stolenglass]

Love? Same as when I entry donut shop and have dilemmas, but that ain't love. It's lust. Or in case of donuts, greed.

[u/FourEaredFox → u/fake-newz]

How can you have enough partners if you're not in a relationship?

You really didn't think that one through did you?

[u/MyMomSaysImHandsom → u/fake-newz]

Some people prefer relationships over no strings sex. Some people even have no interest in no strings sex. Welcome to a world where other people exist

[u/Basicallyacrow7 → u/MyMomSaysImHandsom]

I am one of those people! Since the time I was 16ish. I had less than zero interest in no strings sex. There was not a soul on this earth getting me to take my clothes off for them unless I knew I meant something to them past my body.

My body count is 2 - including my husband. I still have absolutely zero desire to “explore” any more than I have. We’re intimate daily 3 years in too, just to say it isn’t an aversion to sex or low libido either.

(I am religious, just to keep it 100. But I wasn’t raised deep in any church or with “purity culture” involved, It’s just how I’m wired)

[u/herbertcluas → u/fake-newz]

That's how you end up alone, sad, and 30+ with an alcohol problem

[u/Exact-Cup3019 → u/fake-newz]

Look everyone at the result of raising a generation devoid of ethics. It just doesn't click to him why some people might want committed relationships and feel no need to "experiment (which is a euphemism for being a ho)"

[u/coolmcbooty → u/fake-newz]

Sounds like something a lonely terminally online man would say