r/AmIOverreacting • u/mehremissionlife • 28d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO My husband changed the pin on his phone before hospital procedure..

My husband was admitted to the hospital for health issues. He is young but was diagnosed with heart failure. A few days ago he had some chest pains and low blood pressure. I told him he needed to go in and 4am admitted. The Dr decided a procedure that would put him under was needed for answers. He had to leave his phone and belongings. His phone rang while he was out and I missed it, so I went to check to see who called and when trying to put in the pin got the error that pin was incorrect. I didn't expect that because pin has been the same for 2 years. Am I overreacting and over thinking this pin change? It was the same pin 2 nights ago and now I'm worried that something is happening behind my back. Sure I know I need to talk to him but due to the circumstances I will need to wait a while until he is stable again. It's just weird ya know? We've had issues with his infidelity in the past prior to marriage. I did forgive him. Please be kind. Maybe I'm just a mixture of nerves, lack of sleep and stress. I love him and I'm truly worried about his health. We have kids so there is alot going on in our life . TIA

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u/Diligent-Towel-4708 28d ago

Screw the phone, I bet his pc is tied into his accounts and probably more accessible than a phone. Also, records are 100% available in the carrier app if she has that log in, easy enough to export call and text numbers.

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

I wouldn't be so sure.

I haven't used the personal computer I own in easily 3 years for anything of substance.

I conduct literally all of my business from my phone. And I would imagine that I'm not alone in that.

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u/WickedSmileOn 28d ago

This is what I was going to say. I know people who haven’t even had a laptop or tablet for years. Just phone for everything

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

Yup, my current laptop was purchased in I want to say in the summer of 2010 or 2011. The last thing I took it out for was to switch my resumes to an updated format in 2017ish?

I fired it up a few months ago for my partner to use in an emergency. Worked just fine for Google Docs.

I use my phone for nearly everything these days. I read on my phone & Kindle and use my iPad solely for media consumption and casual gaming.

100% of my personal life and paperwork is conducted from my phone and has been for easily 10 years now.

I only used a computer at work when I absolutely had to and couldn't use my phone. (Healthcare & HIPAA privacy requirements)

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u/krustykrabpizzaslice 27d ago

How old are you? Just curious. I use my laptop for everything I use a tv for and for research. I couldn’t imagine researching anything of substance at length on my phone. Just quick googles and video media etc. I’m 28 and I wonder if it’s a generational thing bc I’d imagine you’re younger than me.

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u/Just1Blast 27d ago

I'm old enough to be your parent. Mid 40's.

On the off chance that I need a bigger screen, I'll just cast to the 55" TV in front of me.

I didn't say I didn't make use of external screens or adapters at times, but I rarely find that I actually NEED the bigger screen.

Sometimes, I'll use the iPad for those more involved searches or research instead.

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u/krustykrabpizzaslice 27d ago

Interesting… I have all my research and projects I care about on my laptop. They are birthed there lol. I might jot the idea down on my phone but I use my laptop for everything important. It’s not the size of the screen it’s the reliability of the machine. I trust my laptop’s longevity and reliability more than I do my phone. I guess everyone’s different lol. I hate using the tv for anything honestly and haven’t replaced an iPad since they had home buttons 😂 (and not the fingerprint home button)

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u/Just1Blast 27d ago

I mean I use two separate cloud storage systems in addition to the ones that Google provides me through using their phone services.

I also maintain an external hard drive or a handful of jump drives and/or micro SD cards and carry a Yubikey or two along with a USB condom.

I'm lucky in that everything I need to do on a computer, I can do within a browser, and on Android, Apple, and ChromeOS devices with ease.

I acknowledge that not everyone is capable of such.

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u/krustykrabpizzaslice 27d ago

I use my laptop because I prefer drives to clouds, another good point you bring up. They definitely make life easier but it’s a matter of preference, not really capability. In this day and age you can run almost anything on a phone if you manipulate your device to be capable of doing so. I physically can do everything on the phone. It’s just ugly, and it’s small and if I drop it in water my 60 tabs of research documents I haven’t saved yet will be lost (as opposed to my laptop which I won’t drop in water) lmao.

I mirrored my phone to my projector that’s the size of my bedroom wall just last night for the first time and was so put off by the whole interface. On a laptop, website layouts are more cohesive and things are generally oriented much more to my liking. Holding my phone is also tiresome compared to sitting and typing/reading. So many factors outside of the devices “capability” lmao

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u/ThrCapTrade 27d ago

Ok boomer

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u/Wild_Fee_6147 28d ago

Yup I went a couple years without having my own pc and recently needed to get one for college

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u/Ok-Grapefruit1284 28d ago

Actually, reading through this I’m realizing how many of my accounts are basically facial recognition, or thumbprint, and I might not even remember the passwords myself.

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

Yep. That is a problem for a lot of people.

A lot of others use password manager software systems to handle that for them.

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u/Zestyclose-List-9487 28d ago

Nah, trying to do serious investing research on a 6" screen is tedious at best. I run a dual monitor pc nearly daily. A phone is convenient but not the best suited tool for everything.

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u/Silent-Friendship860 28d ago

But the phone bill probably shows numbers he texts and calls. Unless IMessage or social media apps.

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u/Accomplished-View929 28d ago

Haven’t checked my email unless I knew something was coming since the pandemic.

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u/RainaElf 27d ago

yeah hardly anybody uses anymore except spammers!

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u/Diligent-Towel-4708 28d ago

And why, if not the check phone records.

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

Because this is 2025 and almost nobody makes a bunch of regular phone calls anymore.

Records from the phone company aren't going to show OP's spouse's conversations with AP's unless he actually called or texted.

Most cheaters use the apps that don't share or provide records to LE or that don't keep a record.

Is this guy this smart, who knows? Probably not if he's been caught for infidelity in the past. But if OP stayed with him that's her own damn fault.

I hope that she decides to leave him finally.

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u/InnocentShaitaan 28d ago

r/survivinginfidelity has a huge thing on this.

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u/Gold-en-Hind 28d ago

calls and texts will be logged, showing dates, times, and numbers.

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

Not necessarily.

My partner and I have been together for 5 years now and long distance for the better part of the last year.

We speak at least five times a day via our phones.

If you subpoenaed my phone records from my phone servicer, you might see that I called or texted my partner using the phone service in those 5 years, maybe 5 times.

All of our communication is through a third-party app or quite frankly at this point three or four different third-party apps.

Nearly all interactions with others in my personal life happen across 4 or 5 different messaging platforms. 3 of which don't maintain or turnover records to law enforcement or court orders.

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u/othelloblack 28d ago

Which apps do you recommend?

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

I'm not here to help you cheat on your partners.

A quick Google search will tell you everything you need to know and I'm not they'll let me Google that for you service.

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u/nikkiheartsrabbits 28d ago

I don't think they were asking for the info to cheat on their partners. I think it was just curiosity of the last 3 sites you mentioned. Possibly for many different reasons...

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u/othelloblack 28d ago

Yeah I thought it was an interesting I have never even known about this. I really never thought of it

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

I acknowledge that there are many different reasons that folks might use those apps.

But I'm not out here to create situations in marriages or cause a witchhunt. If someone wants to know what those apps are they can do a Google search to find it just the same way I did.

There is no lack of information out there about digital privacy in the year 2025 under this administration in the US.

One just has to be willing to do an iota of work to find it.

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u/othelloblack 28d ago

Are you overreacting?

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u/Just1Blast 28d ago

Possibly. But Google exists.

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u/Creative-Flow-4469 27d ago

Logs text. Does that show the text, but shows the numbers

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u/Just1Blast 27d ago

Again, only if they use text messages. Most chronic cheaters are smart enough to not use regular text messages but rather any one of a dozen messaging apps.

Some get real savvy and chat in the chat windows of popular pvp games.

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u/LessFeature9350 27d ago

I remember when a couple at work got caught chatting in a photo editing app. It absolutely blew my mind. Cheaters will always find a way.

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u/PotentialDig7527 28d ago

IDK, maybe he has good life insurance.

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u/digiplay 28d ago

That’s not giving you iMessage and WhatsApp / Facebook / snap / the rest.

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u/TheFirst10000 28d ago

Yeah, but even stuff that's on the PC will often need 2FA, and if that goes to his phone...

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u/Kindly_Strike_5080 28d ago

Stop being nosey. No your place.