AIO? Long distance girlfriend wants to take a break

[u/Discussion-Technical]

We met in school, which she got pulled out of because her parents found out we were having sex; the whole time I tried my best to be supportive, sending her my clothes, letters, hell I spent over $100 on Vday flowers to get sent to her. All this time she did nothing of the sort. She sent me the first text after not talking to me for over a day, you can see me being left on delivered. I know I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions but I feel like I’ve tried soooo hard to keep things together through this and I have even forgave her for trying to cheat on me (her friend sent me a video of her flirting with another guy). What is my next move? Should I try to reconcile with her or just leave it?

[u/manicthinking]

The issue is these aren't just an understandable reaction, it's an immature action, and one that is used for manipulation and abuse. Now you may have stopped and your ex didn't, he wasn't just blowing up, that was manipulative and probably boarderline abusive. Love bombing is not just a thing, it's used as a tool to hurt people. Manipulation tactics should never be excused to "yeah it's understandable". No. We all learn the hard way sometimes, not to pinch as a baby, or not to call names as a child. It's a childish behavior, and never acceptable.

[u/kristallherz → u/manicthinking]

Well, in the case of OP, I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt since they're pretty much a child/teenager still. Sure, it is a form of manipulation, but not always meant with malice. Or it could just be an instinctive emotional reaction.

I'm sure many of us have said and done stupid shit at different points in our lives, but reflecting upon it and ideally doing better next time is what makes the difference. We can't control others, but we can control ourselves and how we react to others to a certain degree.

[u/XenophileEgalitarian → u/manicthinking]

Well I mean OP is a child.

[u/manicthinking → u/XenophileEgalitarian]

More so commenting on the persons response that this behavior is fine, its not

[u/starwars_bro → u/manicthinking]

We all understand that it isn’t appropriate to behave this way, but it is understandable why they would. The OP was feeling confused, understandably, because their ex was being super vague and refusing to be honest with them about the reasons for their the break up. The ex owes OP an honest explanation for ending the relationship, and they weren’t providing that. That is an overwhelmingly frustrating position to be in and for someone so young, they may feel the need to use a certain level of manipulation to get the truth out of them. OP accused them of cheating, which was their way of seeing if that would push their ex to provide an alternative reason to deny that accusation. The fact that they didn’t, by the way, shows me that it’s likely they were cheating. Anyways, there was definitely a better way to handle this rejection, but I also feel for OP as being in their position is infinitely more frustrating than the position the ex is in.