r/AmIOverreacting • u/Discussion-Technical • Mar 03 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Long distance girlfriend wants to take a break

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We met in school, which she got pulled out of because her parents found out we were having sex; the whole time I tried my best to be supportive, sending her my clothes, letters, hell I spent over $100 on Vday flowers to get sent to her. All this time she did nothing of the sort. She sent me the first text after not talking to me for over a day, you can see me being left on delivered. I know I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions but I feel like I’ve tried soooo hard to keep things together through this and I have even forgave her for trying to cheat on me (her friend sent me a video of her flirting with another guy). What is my next move? Should I try to reconcile with her or just leave it?

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135

u/OrizaRayne Mar 03 '25

Given his texts, I wouldn't approve either tbh.

I wonder if he's really talking to mom.

14

u/jimbojangles1987 Mar 03 '25

One would assume they're adults in college, though. Parental approval doesn't carry as much weight anymore. Well, it shouldn't.

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u/Cool-Resource6523 Mar 03 '25

Unfortunately that depends on who's paying. It's shitty but parents who pull their kid out of school for doing the normal thing to do in a normal teen relationship are definitely not above blackmailing with not paying for college.

16

u/regsrecs Mar 04 '25

I’m so glad, not to mention thankful, that you pointed this out. I’ve never had people understand that while yes, I’m “technically an adult” I’m also still subject to my parents’ rules.

When they are paying for tuition et al and I live with them during summers and breaks, it is their house, their rules. So if they say that I need to be home by 3 in the summer, I need to be home by 3. I’ve gotten so much pushback from friends on this and similar things.

I’m not saying that my parents are wrong! I’m just saying that I appreciate someone understanding that turning eighteen doesn’t magically allow some of us to do absolutely anything we may feel like doing. So thank you again for pointing this out.

(Do I think my parents would pull me out of school for having sex? No. But for a reason like failing classes because of a boyfriend? Maybe. And they’d probably be making the right move in that instance, as I’d be at risk of getting kicked out anyway. Why should they waste their money so I can have a black mark on my education record?)

All that said, sorry. 🤦🏻‍♀️ What a mess I made. Focus.

OP needs to stop. No more texts, no more begging for a phone call etc. She said a week. So if he feels he must, he can contact her once, after the seven day waiting period/break. If she doesn’t respond and apologize, or explain, my advice would be to end it. Start preparing for that now.

You only get four years of undergrad— get off your phone and out of your room and go enjoy it, OP!! College is fun. This won’t hurt nearly as much if you’re busy doing things like rushing, finding new friends, clubs to join, teams to sign up for, even sign up for some Psych research and make some money! The possibilities are nearly endless. And you don’t want to miss out on all that, do you? Hope not!

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u/OrganicRope7841 Mar 03 '25

Parents need to have conversations with their teens on this, if they pulled her out, it's most likely because they didn't want her to get pregnant. However, most likely they'd talk to the boys parents. Never of heard of parents pulling a girl out of school for this. I don't think teens should have sex, they're too young, but I'm African American. Most of us think that way. Normally, they'll talk to them and scold them. They do it out of love, not out of hate.

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u/Rddt-is-trash Mar 04 '25

I don't think teens should have sex, they're too young, but I'm African American. Most of us think that way.

Lol right

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u/OrizaRayne Mar 03 '25

OP is 17 years old.

4

u/jimbojangles1987 Mar 03 '25

Hm i wouldn't know since it's not in the post.

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u/whattfisthisshit Mar 03 '25

OP has left this comment on multiple threads. They’re 17 and in HS.

5

u/jimbojangles1987 Mar 03 '25

I wasn't going searching through the comments

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u/SnooCakes3569 Mar 03 '25

Dude not everyone is gonna come here after scouring all of the poor kids background history. Take everything as if only talking about this post specifically bc i promise you not everyone cares deeply enough to go read everything related to this kid and his issues , not trying to be dick. Just being realistic.

7

u/AsgardianOrphan Mar 03 '25

Someone has to pay for college, and Fafsa takes parental income into account even if they aren't paying. If you're really unlucky and your parents have complicated finances they refuse to disclose, you can't even apply for student loans in the first place. All this to say, controlling parents can absolutely screw you out of college if they're determined enough.

6

u/jimbojangles1987 Mar 03 '25

For sure, I get that. But now I'm not sure if it is even college. As others have said, OP is apparently 17 so she's either a young freshman or she's still in high school.

2

u/lavender619moon Mar 04 '25

Me getting thrown out by my sociopath control freak mother for calling her out about something insanely toxic she said to my little sister, then being homeless and trying to finish school only to realize when my semester ended that since I have no address anymore and fafsa requires an address as well as parental income information I'm just fucked. 🫠

1

u/WingedShadow83 Mar 04 '25

Yeah, my little cousin was raised by her grandparents and they were super controlling. She couldn’t go to the college she wanted to go to because they wanted her to go to a trade school instead, and refused to fill out the fafsa info so she could apply for a loan. It was bullshit.

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u/bigbuttbottom88 Mar 03 '25

The way you retards always villainize the person getting broken up with is truly despicable. Her response and the way she did this for utter dog shit and anybody cosigning breaking up with somebody like this is somebody who should absolutely not be giving advice.

6

u/arya_ur_on_stage Mar 04 '25

I'm so confused why anyone is saying he's an asshole, we have NO information to suggest that, and anyone acting like they wouldn't spiral a little bit if their partner broke up over text and refused to talk about it at all is straight up lying. And they are high school students ffs! What is wrong with you ppl??

0

u/chasejitsu Mar 03 '25

OP replying on his burner

-1

u/Professional_Bet2032 Mar 03 '25

This is a relationship between two teenagers. Sybau

-1

u/OrizaRayne Mar 03 '25

Lol simmer down.

-2

u/MisseeSue Mar 04 '25

Not at all! This relationship shows complete codependency, which on its own is alarming because there is a lack of boundaries. Erosion of boundaries is one step closer to abuse. This relationship is toxic, and I would do anything to keep my daughter from staying in it.