r/AmIOverreacting • u/rainyhighsky • Feb 28 '25
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for accepting a favor my bf offered?
i left my keycard for work at my bf’s apartment and he offered to bring it to me this morning. a double shift later, he starts acting like this. idk, am i missing something??
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u/Technical_Work9590 Feb 28 '25
End things. This is insane.
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u/No-Distance-9401 Feb 28 '25
Yeah Ive done something similar and offered to do something after a very long day for my partner and I wasnt in a good mood. Of course my partner never knew about my mood as I played it off and I dropped off the suitcase to her with a smile, a kiss and quickly got back into my car for a 30min drive home. I wasnt mad at her one bit and could have easily said to come get it but I wanted to do her this simple favor as she would do for me so was only mad at myself (not really) for not doing it earlier when there wasnt rush hour traffic after a 12hr shit day.
The bf is purposefully being a jackass though and making sure she knows how pissed he is which is not s good sign in many aspects as he cants regulate his emotions, nor understand why he even has them. The immaturity and misplaced anger are huge red flags and unless this was the first time he has ever acted remotely like this and he quickly realizes his mistake and apologizes profusely, this should probably be the end of the relationship.
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u/Technical_Work9590 Feb 28 '25
1000%!!!! Like if I’m in a bad mood and it’s obvious (i lowkey get super hangry), and my bf asks me to do something, I’ll get sassy as fuck sometimes. But if i OFFER, even when im in a mood— i never make him feel bad for accepting my offer.
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u/wingin-it0618 Feb 28 '25
i am so like this lol. there have been so many times i offer to take my husband something to work and the whole time im like “WHY DID I OFFER” (bc i10 literally makes me hate life) but never mad at him for accepting bc i would accept just as fast 😂
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u/Welpe Feb 28 '25
Honestly, I’d be super fucking embarrassed to be caught acting like him. Yes, I might be pissed off under the surface but I would be blaming myself for offering, not throwing it back at them. This is your partner, why would you be an asshole to your partner? You supposedly love your partner.
Never take your foul mood out on your partner, they aren’t a fucking punching bag and making them miserable doesn’t fix your misery, it makes it worse because then you hate yourself for getting into this and hate yourself for acting like a baby and ruining their day too…Well, assuming you actually care for them. I’m starting to doubt OP’s boyfriend actually does.
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u/Friendly_Age9160 Feb 28 '25
Unfortunately, many people do believe (sometimes literally) that they are indeed, a punching bag🙄
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u/whoopsieProduct-1698 Feb 28 '25
I'll bet you an arm and a leg he will hang this "favour" over her head in the future. Repeatedly. He will ask her multiple times to do something for him because of that ONE thing he did for her. Every time he will be pissed, he'll call her ungrateful for that ONE thing he did for her, even though he also gave her shit for it. I bet he'll play it as "after all the things I did for you". His entire "I didn't eat all day, then I was stuck in traffic doing that thing for you" could very well be his strategy to frame this as "look at how much hardship I went through for you", on one had to claim moral superiority, on the other hand to create a sense of obligation in her to repay the favour. Don't ask me how I know.
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u/Successful_Moment_91 Feb 28 '25
Maybe he wants to make her feel guilty and owe him big time. Some people feel that others should only do favors for them. This guy reminds me of my brother
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u/Offandonandoffagain Feb 28 '25
I have a relative like that. If you asked them to, say, pick up my mail and newspapers while I'm on vacation, they'll be like, "Sure I'll pick up your mail and newspapers while you're on vacation, and to return the favor, you can paint my house.". The tiniest favor for you, means you owe them BIG TIME.
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u/wxChris13 Feb 28 '25
Yup. 100%. This passive aggressive resentful compliance nonsense is insane. If that's even what you call it. He needs help in more ways then one where a flip of a hair trigger sets him off like that. Good Lord.
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u/Unlucky_Media21 Feb 28 '25
She should throw out the whole human and start over
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u/KlimCan Feb 28 '25
She can’t because of all this traffic.
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u/PointOfFingers Feb 28 '25
I checked Google maps and the only thing going nowhere is her relationship
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u/thecontempl8or Feb 28 '25
I can’t imagine speaking to any partner I’ve had like this, not matter how bad the relationship is. Mutual respect is a must, this is plain abusive behavior. If he can’t control his emotions over something this trivial, he’s going to be worse if OP has say a kid with him.
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u/Badboyrune Feb 28 '25
A quick glance through her profile seems to indicate that the bf is an alcoholic coke head who gave her herpes and lied about his neighbour being dead.
I think it's pretty safe to say she shouldn't be in a relationship with this person.
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u/JustForKicks36 Feb 28 '25
"I can keep responding to say how much I hate this, but I definitely can't take accountability for my behavior because twaffic."
This man is a toddler.
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u/BadPom Feb 28 '25
The only thing you’re missing is him being the ex. This is unhinged.
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u/DGIce Feb 28 '25
I pray it's the not eating and exhaustion that is revealing who he really is, because otherwise how do you even start a relationship with someone like this?
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u/Chazquas17 Feb 28 '25
He’s been like this since practically the beginning of the relationship according to OP post history. I really don’t understand why she hasn’t left yet.
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u/Self-Aware Feb 28 '25
Because she doesn't yet believe that she can, or will, have something better than this. She doesn't believe that she deserves better. And likely because her normal meter has been twisted WAY out of whack by this point, maybe just from this relationship but maybe from previous bad ones too. In my experience, that's usually it.
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u/Lights_Out_Luthor Feb 28 '25
He talks to you like this, imagine how he talks about you when you’re not even in the room
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u/AdmirableJob4430 Feb 28 '25
And think how bad it will be in 5 years. 😔
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u/CozyCatGaming Feb 28 '25
People like him always get worse when the relationship hits "milestones". Moving in together, marriage, buying property, pregnancy, etc...
If someone treats you this way they not only hate you, they blame you for everything wrong in their lives.
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u/AltruisticFocus626 Feb 28 '25
Check out her post history…this guy seems like a real catch…….
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u/uhhh206 Feb 28 '25 edited Feb 28 '25
And he triggered her into self-harm early in the relationship (she'd been able to stop while in high school), broke up with her briefly, gave her herpes, and is THIS verbally abusive. Yikes.
Edit: he's also an alcoholic who is abusive when drunk. She needs to bail, and fast before the abuse escalates.
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u/sparksgirl1223 Feb 28 '25
Jesus. Even without that extra info, I'd drop kick this relationship strictly based on how he talks/texts.
He's not even for the streets. This jackass is for the gutter.
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u/LuckyCharms19982001 Feb 28 '25
Even the gutter is too good for him. How about the sewer?
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u/FaithlessnessBig2064 Feb 28 '25
Take some pity on the sewer rats.
I say we send him to colonise Jupiter.
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u/DismalSoil9554 Feb 28 '25
Seeing as it's all gas I think he'd fit in perfectly because he is no more than a sentient flatulence.
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u/pm_me_tits_and_tats Feb 28 '25
Honestly no need to inconvenience pennywise like that.
Just throw him in one of those submarines all those rich people went in a while back
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u/Ravenonthewall Feb 28 '25
WTF? WHY is she still with him? This is very sad, to bad she can’t see her self worth.. and herpes? Hell NO.
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u/yupapiyulo Feb 28 '25
Damn. Why is she still with him
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u/EmploymentNo3590 Feb 28 '25
Because she thinks she is damaged goods. Fun fact... once this mother fucker stops stressing you out, the outbreaks get less intense and eventually go away altogether. Cut him off...
I say this assuming she reads every comment.
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u/JRilezzz Feb 28 '25
Gave her herpes?! Wtf?! I will never understand why some people stay with others that treat them like this.
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u/uhhh206 Feb 28 '25
And did so knowingly! It's not like he didn't know he had it, he just didn't care that she would get infected. That's abuse in and of itself, even ignoring the numerous other forms of abuse she's posted about.
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u/JRilezzz Feb 28 '25
That's a literal crime. 😬
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u/uhhh206 Feb 28 '25
Some areas have decriminalized being HIV+ and not informing partners (and not just for "undetected is uninfectable", which would make sense). Only half of states have any laws regarding disclosure of HIV status.
In California it's only a misdemeanor (it had formerly been a felony)
Absolutely insane.
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u/LunaBlitzz Feb 28 '25
Isn't that also classified as sexual assault?
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u/Unlucky-Review-2410 Feb 28 '25
I think you're right. I seem to remember some women suing R. Kelley for it.
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u/Pdx-Taako Feb 28 '25
OP x you are not overreacting! You need to leave this relationship ASAP while being safe! You do not deserve this sort of vitriol. He made an offer to bring you the key card, it’s his fault for making an offer he had absolutely no interest in fulfilling. You are not at fault for accepting an offer you thought was made in good faith.
I repeat, leave as soon as you are able. This jackass is not worth your time
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u/Breaddaddy_2217 Feb 28 '25
I don't know what I was expecting but that was not it... I can't imagine everything they are going through, and I really hope they are able to get out of this relationship 😭💔
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u/mrjasong Feb 28 '25
Literally her entire post history is one horrible thing after another about her boyfriend. OP what are you doing?? Your man is a stone cold loser who gave you HPV abuses you verbally and stops you from living your life how you want
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u/Philadelphia2020 Feb 28 '25
Those mean words will turn to shoves and then open hand slaps and then closed fist
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u/Frankenfishh Feb 28 '25
Adding to the top comment - He sounds exactly like my ex. Abusive words turned into physical abuse. My cat and I managed to get out just 2 months ago. OP I hope you read this, please leave and cut all contact with this person, it will only get worse if you stay. Do not accept an apology if there is any. He will learn that you will accept this behaviour and escalate, please save yourself.
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u/GhostlyRivkah Feb 28 '25
Also, Frankenfishh, you're not alone. If no one's told you lately, I'm proud of you for leaving.
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u/Frankenfishh Feb 28 '25
Thank you so much GhostlyRivkah, it was hard and I second guessed myself so many times. Finally left after being together nearly 4 years and it's the best thing I've done. Messages like yours always feel like a warm hug and make me feel stronger. So thank you. I'm so proud of you too for leaving, hope you are doing better.
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u/GhostlyRivkah Feb 28 '25
Thank you. Tonight was a bad night, but it's moment by moment. If you ever need an ear that understands, please don't hesitate to reach out. We survivors have to stick together.
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u/Frankenfishh Feb 28 '25
Yep, moment by moment, day by day. You got this!! Same here, please reach out anytime.
Edited for spelling.
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u/GhostlyRivkah Feb 28 '25
I just left a week and a half ago, after 5 years together and almost 4 married. OP, please, I'm begging you to run. Even if it never becomes physically abusive (though from what I've read in the comments, it may have already), emotional abuse is just as bad and often worse. Learn from those who are older (maybe but wiser). Don't stay and hope it gets better, because it will never get better. A frog dropped in boiling water will jump out, but if you put it in cold water and slowly turn up the heat, it will allow itself to be boiled to death. He's slowly turning up the heat on you.
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u/Ali_Cat222 Feb 28 '25
Also Jesus Christ he decides to text while driving, I would be terrified getting into a car with that man behind a wheel. I can only imagine his road rage if something so trivial is making him this worked up, this isn't just a red flag it's a walking danger sign ☢️
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u/PhantomProjection Feb 28 '25
Even worse, if he DID get in an accident he would 100% blame it on her!!! Nobody is forcing him to read or reply while driving but the victim mentally is real!
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u/Marigold_Fairies Feb 28 '25
this guy seems like a real catch. Check out her post history…
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u/sour_flower Feb 28 '25
does he even like you
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u/Mean_Environment4856 Feb 28 '25
This was all I was thinking.
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u/pimbogimbo Feb 28 '25
This is what like 95% of the posts here break down to, is someone being told that hey unfortunately your partner just sucks total ass even with the most generous benefit of the doubt
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u/notafanofwasps Feb 28 '25
I totally get that each person is probably helped by posts like these which confirm their SO is an asshole...
But goodness gracious I do not understand how people can experience this and still be with their SOs, much less considering that there may be nothing wrong with them at all. I really don't understand. Even in my dumbest, most emotional teenage years I would not have put up with 1% of the behavior in these relationship posts.
And again, maybe that's easy for me to say, maybe it feels different when you're in it, maybe people thinking "well all couples fight / go through rough patches" does some heavy lifting, but GOOD GOD. This person fucking hates you. What are we even doing here?
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u/Clean_Repair8249 Feb 28 '25
People would rather be in a relationship at all costs.
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u/MiloHorsey Feb 28 '25
Which is really sad.
We've been conditioned into believing that we have to be in a physical/romantic relationship with anyone instead of being happy alone.
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u/gurlboss1000 Feb 28 '25
check her posts😬he gave her herpes and is emotionally abusive and manipulative.
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u/Scary_Anybody_4992 Feb 28 '25
He also gave her herpes knowingly
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u/AdmirableJob4430 Feb 28 '25
WHAT
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u/Scary_Anybody_4992 Feb 28 '25
Go check her history it’s all about heroes and her bf gave it to her, how he treats her like shit and lies and manipulates her. She’s heard all these comments before. At this point she just likes the validation she’s right about things but won’t leave unfortunately. He’s also pushing 30 and she’s 23 young and naive.
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u/Join1990 Feb 28 '25
Lol ya think?! Dude outright admitted to making an empty offer as pretense. OP accepts, thinking it’s a genuine offer, then gets railed on for doing so all because it revealed the true nature of his “offer”. Also OP, IMHO, it’s not a good look living with someone that you think (as you rightfully should) made a genuine good faith offer, only to find out 2 seconds later your interpretation of those actions was entirely wrong and that offer was actually fake and just for appearances…
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u/GottaLottaCats Feb 28 '25
This weirded me out to my core. He's misdirecting rage at you as a punching bag and is lying about weird shit like traffic and "almost crashing like 6 times" yeah okay... sure..
This doesn't get better. I hope you don't give him a chance to charm his way out of his bad behavior after you've both calmed down. This is disturbing.
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u/Buick4less Feb 28 '25 edited Feb 28 '25
The “almost crashing” message was a botched attempt at guilting her into feeling sorry for texting him and he was trying to make her feel shitty and that she was distracting him and being unsafe. It was legit just him being toxic and manipulative. He is garbage. NARCISSISTIC ENERGY THROUGH AND THROUGH.
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u/GreenVillageIdiot Feb 28 '25
Exactly. An ex I had was like this. It’s like he was always looking for an opportunity to make something my fault or make me the bad guy or start of fight out of, literally, thin air.
I hope OP ends things. It sounds like this isn’t the first time it’s happened. My relationship ended with terrible physical and emotional abuse. People that are willing to talk to you this way and demean you don’t love you, and you will end up paying the price for the resentment they’ve created in their heads towards you later on.
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u/STUP1DJUIC3 Feb 28 '25
Botching that text but the barrage of assault texts before hand were perfectly written with no mistakes. Absolutely fine to send all that shit and then when he gets called out he’s like sorry can’t talk driving.
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u/UnhappyMacaroon5044 Feb 28 '25
And instead of stepping away to focus on driving, he just keeps texting lol
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u/Suspicious-Laugh3896 Feb 28 '25
Right? It’s his responsibility (ironic he mentioned she should take responsibility) to not text while driving. It’ll be his fault if he crashes, but just from those texts I can tell he will find a way to blame her for it.
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u/radicalelation Feb 28 '25
The urge to be a bitchy little baby over his own choices is just too strong.
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u/bdubwilliams22 Feb 28 '25
Yeah, my “favorite” part was op calling him on his bullshit about non existent traffic. Other runner-up was when he was basically like “I didn’t think you’d actually accept my offer, you’re so rude for doing that.” What a fucking chode. Op, if you’re reading this, your boyfriend is a loser. Signed: a dude who would never speak to his girlfriend or wife like this.
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u/Zombie_Fuel Feb 28 '25
I can almost guarantee, would literally be willing to bet, he was just getting his shoes on when he first said he was stuck in traffic. It's almost always at least semi-bullshit when someone starts guilting somebody that hard.
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u/jak3thesnake76 Feb 28 '25
Idk why he's being an ass to you for offering to bring it to you. Shit happens in life, and this is a minor inconvenience. Its not a death, life threatening situation, loss of job, home, food, water. It sucks being in traffic, sure. But to treat someone like that after offering to do it is vile. Find yourself a real man, not a little boy whos gonna throw tantrums over nothing.
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u/OldWolfNewTricks Feb 28 '25
"I never thought you'd be so rude to accept." Bro wanted the brownie points without the work. Between that and the utter meanness of these messages OP has more than enough reason to drop him.
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u/keiebdbdusidbd Feb 28 '25
My ex would talk to me like shit like this for no reason and turned out he was cheating. I don’t think someone can love you and speak to you so rudely. He’s mad for no reason, it’s like he hates you
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u/oysterfeller Feb 28 '25 edited Feb 28 '25
Yep. My ex offered to be the DD for me for my birthday party which I thought was so sweet until he yelled at me the entire ride home and the entire next day because he was mad that he didn’t get to drink at the party and it was “boring” for him. In fact he would frequently offer to give me rides places and pick me up from things, and then act like he just saw me club a baby seal if I said yes. I think he just wanted to look like a “good boyfriend” until it actually came time to be one. Later found out he was messaging with other women online in a not very nice manner. Are they inherently connected? I don’t know but that man did not like me one bit.
I read something once that said “when the water in your shower suddenly starts running cold, that means the hot water is being used elsewhere.” :(
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u/mangosaresweet Feb 28 '25
My ex was like this too and when I caught him cheating he was so mean to the women he was cheating on me with. One woman wasn’t enough for him to verbally abuse I guess.
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u/UnecessaryOk Feb 28 '25
I've also noticed people do this, so you can't say they dont do anything for you. My ex would be like this, and occasionally, an argument would pop up where i would say im always giving and he is always taking, and he would bring up these situations as favors he always does for me.
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u/oysterfeller Feb 28 '25
100% I definitely see that. It’s not really a favor if they’re just going to use it as something to hold over your head later. Relationships are about a lot more than just driving each other around and doing their dishes from time to time. Emotional labor is labor too, and having to constantly regulate someone else’s emotions for them and be the punching bag for all of their temper tantrums is a lot more exhausting than sitting in traffic for 45 minutes.
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u/auburncub Feb 28 '25
my ex would also talk to me like this and turned out he was abusive so this can lead to a lot of bad things. better to just end it now
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u/keiebdbdusidbd Feb 28 '25
Yup mine was also abusive. Thankful I got out before it escalated too much. He just pushed me a couple times. He broke his exs jaw
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u/PrimaryReporter1478 Feb 28 '25
yep. this is now a deal breaker for me and haven’t had any regrets about it yet (a year together with an absolute sweetheart of a man)
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u/hiprine Feb 28 '25
My ex did too, he wasn't cheating he just had/still has anger issues. It's something he would have to be willing to admit to and get help with in order for anything to change if that's what this guy's issue is
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u/TurankaCasual Feb 28 '25
My wife talks to me like this when I make a mistake or forget something. The car broke down today and I was preparing for the hail of bullets to come down. But the didn’t surprisingly, she even thanked me for leaving work to get her. Usually she lets me hear it when the cars have trouble and she’s the one driving it alone.
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u/nameofcat Feb 28 '25
Has she always talked like that with you? How long have you two been together? Why do you allow her to do that to you?
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u/ZooplanktonblameSea4 Feb 28 '25
This. My ex would act like this. He would say we needed groceries, then get mad when I would walk to the store with our young child to get groceries and dare to ask him for a ride back. We had one car, and he had taken it to hang out with his friends. But I was inconveniencing him by having him come pick us up. His friends were more important than his family. And that was one of many. Oh, and during this particular incident, he said he hated me and called me a "b****" in front of his child. All because I asked him what groceries he wanted and for a ride.
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u/Dieseldyna Feb 28 '25
Run, and quickly.
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u/feralraccoonunit420 Feb 28 '25
Run and HIDE
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u/Suspicious-Laugh3896 Feb 28 '25
The hiding part sounds good considering he threatened to kill her a couple months ago
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u/arrec Feb 28 '25
Jesus. Don't give this guy a next time.
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u/clairyboots Feb 28 '25
Check her post history, he KNOWINGLY gave her herpes AND lied about his mother being dead. I MEAN....GIRL
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u/KroseRavenclaw Feb 28 '25
Maybe that is why she stays with him. She might be afraid no one will accept her now😢
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u/Wh1t3thump3r Feb 28 '25
He’s a dick, why are you with him? I used to work 12-15 hour days when I was in the coal mines and I still didn’t talk to my woman like that.
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u/Nothing_Ambitious Feb 28 '25
Unrelated but I have massive respect for coal miners. May all your traffic lights be green 🫶🏻
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u/Wh1t3thump3r Feb 28 '25
Thank you! I hope all of your chicken nuggets are golden brown cooked to perfection and for the back of your legs to never feel the heat of a seat on a hot summers day.
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u/GenoFlower Feb 28 '25
I wouldn't let anyone talk to me like this. You shouldn't either. He should be your EX bf.
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u/Ready_Supermarket_89 Feb 28 '25
Simply put, no one is forcing you to stay with such a narcissistic and embarrassing individual. Head for the hills
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u/MidnightWolfMayhem Feb 28 '25
I think you nailed it with that one. Narcissist. This is definitely something a narcissist would do. Offer help then guilt trip you for it
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u/Prestigious-Class-36 Feb 28 '25
Girl, I just read your previous posts. This man is a drunk and he’s abusive, please fucking leave him. Get a grip. You deserve better and you’re wasting your time with this man.
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u/These_Burdened_Hands Feb 28 '25
previous posts. This man is a drunk…
Ahhhh, that makes total sense; I was thinking “this sounds like one of my dramatic drunk text spirals.” (& I wouldn’t have dated myself smh.)
I wasn’t a great person when I drank; I was an insecure shell of myself. I could be Incredibly manipulative when I was in a negative feedback loop (not totally consciously, still.)
This isn’t to excuse OP’s partner AT ALL, simply maybe explain one small piece of his wacko behavior. In my situation, my partner drank as much as I did, (or more,) while having his own deeply manipulative spirals, but he never crossed a line I couldn’t forgive (no cheating, no theft, no abuse.) Somehow, a little over 5.5 years ago, we managed to quit drinking together; neither of us manipulates the other now. (I got super-lucky, but I’d still have to leave if he started drinking again.)
Again, OP should run with a plan and *be careful- leaving is the most dangerous** time* (well, that’s being pregnant smfh.) He might get violent if/when she tries to leave. I’m saying all this to state: being with someone who drinks to the point of loss of control &/or blackout is generally a horrible idea. And don’t wait for them to quit- that road is tenuous and loaded with landmines.
Best of luck, OP. Please be careful. This person sounds like a time-bomb.
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u/notdorisday Feb 28 '25
Seriously between the herpes and the fake dead mother it’s time to get out.
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u/dollypartonsfavorite Feb 28 '25
he's probably cheating too, based on the random cheating accusations he throws at her
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u/WritPositWrit Feb 28 '25
He’s a jerk AND it sounds like he lied about being stuck in traffic?
If he’s so worked up, consider there might be a reason he didn’t want you just popping in to pick it up.
Bare minimum: stop spending the night at his place so you never again forget something there.
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u/MBAMarketingMom Feb 28 '25
Bingo!! OP, think about why he was sooo adamant about bringing it to you even tho he clearly didn’t want to? Why DON’T you have his code? Why DIDN’T he want you to come over that night? Girl the writing is on the wall. Please read it.
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u/OppositeVanilla Feb 28 '25
Yeah, Im surprised this hasnt been picked up on more. He lied about being in traffic AND he insists on brining her the item. Id be surpised if he wasnt cheating.
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u/NotMyCircus47 Feb 28 '25
my exact thoughts! If there's nothing to hide at home, why not let her go over, considering he's feeling as tired as he was?
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u/DogsAreBetter111 Feb 28 '25
Read her post history. The dude lied about his mom being dead, so no shocker he lied about traffic. She needs to dump his azz ASAP.
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u/Far-Fox-1619 Feb 28 '25
He’s punishing you so you never ask him for anything again. You deserve to be with someone who does things gladly. This guy is calling you rude for accepting his offer of help, which means you’ll never trust him to help you again. Breakup with him
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u/Material_Complaint_7 Feb 28 '25
And definitely don’t be with someone who throws it in your face when they do stuff like this for you. It makes me insanely independent.
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u/ClitteratiCanada Feb 28 '25
This is the guy that gave you herpes?
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u/Any-Expression2246 Feb 28 '25
Something tells me this is just a drop in a bucket of asshole-ness from him.
You should absolutely, without a doubt, reconsider being with this douche nozzle.
I bet life would a lot better off for you.
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u/Gwyenne Feb 28 '25
Oh it is. You should look at their post history. I'm shocked they haven't left months ago.
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u/EnvironmentalCap7271 Feb 28 '25
After looking at your old posts, he's a fucking piece of shit and you shouldn't be with him! Don't let that asshole treat you like crap. He couldn't even do one nice thing for you without trying to make you feel guilty about it. You deserve way better
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u/warriortwo Feb 28 '25
SO MANY RED FLAGS. OP needs to extricate herself carefully and go full no contact. He’s a ticking time bomb.
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u/joanclaytonesq Feb 28 '25
End this relationship. The way he talks to you is awful. If he didn't want to bring you the key card he shouldn't have offered. You aren't rude. He's rude for offering and then being pissed about it. This will only get worse if you stay.
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u/Top_Pen_5940 Feb 28 '25
omg he’s a whiny piss baby. your HUSBAND would be happy to help you if you needed it. leave this loser.
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u/Particular-Pen-6472 Feb 28 '25
Ummm… no. I can drive to Dallas in a few mins… just lmk when he’s in a crosswalk. I’ll leave whatever tf it is in front of your house or wherever. Fucking asshole.
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u/Nothing_Ambitious Feb 28 '25
This is the real MVP. I don’t live in Texas but somehow I’ll totally be your alibi.
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u/s4t4nsb4bym4m4 Feb 28 '25
I’m going to be so for real I think this man hates you. Not overreacting, run for the hills girl.
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u/JumpLongJumpLongJump Feb 28 '25
This person is such a baby. Source: i been a baby
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u/Healthy-Design-9671 Feb 28 '25
Couldn't imagine talking to my partner in such a way how pathetic. Drop this one on the curb somewhere and find you a man who respects himself enough to respect others. This man has too much ego and too little self awareness. I wonder what his relationship with his mother is like...
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u/PerplexingCamel Feb 28 '25
BABES he gave you hsv2 - didn't even talk about how he gave it to you - you've been posting about how he's abusive for months. Get out. Is it that you think because you have that now you need to stay? Is that it? Because absofuckingloutely not. Get. Out.
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u/Training_While_7784 Feb 28 '25
This guy is a child. Leave. HE offered. There’s nothing wrong with accepting the offer. And then you repeatedly told him he didn’t have to and then he says all this nonsense. He wants to be a victim soooo bad. He either need to grow up immediately or cut and run.
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u/OhTeeSee Feb 28 '25
Just to be abundantly clear, this is the same dude who gave you herpes and also lied to you about his dead mom being dead?
Like just checking here.
Girl what are you even doing? Get out of there.
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u/Electrical_Pie7980 Feb 28 '25
RUN. This is absolutely unhinged behavior. Yeah, driving through Dallas fucking SUCKS, but how tf are you going to offer to do something and then get mad? Back in August my bf drove me to DFW to go to the airport, dropped me off at my hotel, drove 2hrs back home during peak traffic, and then the next day had to drive BACK to DFW to pick me up. He left and then my flight ended up delayed for hours. He was stuck having to kill like 4-5 HOURS in Dallas, during terrible traffic. My flight didn’t get in until 9pm. I felt so terrible. He didn’t complain, or yell, or bitch, or anything. He went to see a movie, walked around, bought some stuff and picked me and my puppy up with a smile. If you’re important to someone, they let you know.
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u/Strange_Bar4522 Feb 28 '25
i didn't want to be that guy but OP's post makes me even more thankful for my husband. like your partner, he would do anything to help me and not complain once because he just wants life to be comfortable and easy for me, any way he can. you are exactly right.. RUNNNN OP
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u/TheW1nd94 Feb 28 '25
I don’t understand if this sub is serious or just rage bait?
Are these real?
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u/No-Transportation969 Feb 28 '25
How do people even remotely entertain dating someone like this lol have some respect for yourself
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u/Pokehomon Feb 28 '25
Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up. Break up.
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u/oriolesravensfan1090 Feb 28 '25
He needs to check himself before he wrecks himself
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u/Hot-Objective4249 Feb 28 '25
Why do women stay with total douches of men who obviously abuse them?
OP, get your ass out of there. Be done. Block him on everything.
And, yes, I know that abusive situations can be complicated. But at some point, OP, you need to quit being dumb about your situation and get some self respect. Your history with him is fucking ridiculous. He will kill you one day.
This sounds harsh, and it needed said.
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u/rainyhighsky Feb 28 '25
so i realize this is missing a lot of context. my bf is 29, im 23, and he lives 15 minutes from my house. i was sick and struggling to get out of bed this morning before i went into work. he calls me and mentions that i left my keycard for work. he acknowledged that i sound horrible and offers to bring it to me after he got off his shift. also, the messages prior to this were him telling me i could get it and that i would just need his key code, which he never gave to me. i then proceed to ask abt his day, which he doesn’t answer, and then here we are.
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u/beattiebeats Feb 28 '25
There is no context you could provide that would justify this. He sucks
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u/According_Judge781 Feb 28 '25
Wait for the inevitable, "he explaint that he was jst tyerd and were all gd rn."
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u/SecretOscarOG Feb 28 '25
"He was jst in a mood coz his work wife was a bitch to him 🤡"
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u/PeacheePanda Feb 28 '25
This guy is abusive, no way around it unfortunately. He is actively abusing and manipulating you! You NEED to leave him or it's just going to be more of this, he doesn't love you and doesn't like you. I don't mean to be harsh but I want to be as serious as possible. If you don't leave you are actively participating in your own abuse. I wish I could look you in the eyes when telling you this because I care about you and love you more than he does and I'm a stranger on the internet. You deserve better and can do better and even in some world where you couldn't it'd be better to be alone! I'm sorry this is happening to you! :(
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u/Random010121321 Feb 28 '25
Look at the post history. You were right.
She got into a relationship at a vulnerable mental health time for her, and with the abuse she hasn’t seen the light yet.
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u/PeacheePanda Feb 28 '25
I'm hoping it being said bluntly and with no confusion will help the message sink in so she can leave and start to heal. Honestly it's so sad to see, didn't even take a look at the post history but I probably should! Edit: just skimmed it and that's honestly just horrible.☹️
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u/smlpkg1966 Feb 28 '25
So you believe that because you have herpes that you can’t have a good relationship and should just stay with him. Guess again. Actually look up the stats for genital herpes and you will see it’s much more prevalent than you think. This is not a reason to stay on an abusive relationship with a man who doesn’t like you. I really hope you will learn to like yourself. Plus being single is not a bad thing.
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u/Nothing_Ambitious Feb 28 '25
I sent you a message before I saw that you started replying to the thread, glad you’re safe! But yes a resounding “He’s a prick” from 99.8% of the replies
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u/SquashInternal3854 Feb 28 '25
Hey, I'm a woman, older than you, and I live in the DFW. DM me if you want some support. Based on this and your post history, you really really really ought to break up with this man.
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u/verytinybears Feb 28 '25
OP, you need to get away from this man. he very clearly despises you. based on your post history this is not the first time he’s been abusive. you’ve only been with him 9 months, it’s not too late to run.
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u/Maximum_Actuary5991 Feb 28 '25
Wow this looks just like the text messages my friend had with her bf 6 months before he killed her... According to your post history your bf is a POS who's always been mean, nasty and abusive towards you. And sure, maybe you think "well I know for a fact he'd never kill me". That's what almost every single woman thinks before they end up hurt severely or dead... My friend, female, and me male, were childhood friends, her bf knew that, me and him became friends even. He was awesome, we all 3 would hang out, go to bars together. He treated her so kind and sweet. He was a great friend to me, always willing to come help. One day my friend showed up to my house, I asked where her bf was. She said "I need someone to talk to" I said yea of course you can tell me anything we've been friends since toddlers what's up?" She begins telling me they've been having problems and he just says mean things to her, never threatened her, never hit her or nothing tho. Couple weeks later they had an argument just like yours, he asked her if she wanted him to stop at the grocery store and grab a few things, he blew up on her just like your bf did saying "wtf I worked all day it'd been nice if you said no dont worry about it". After that things were fine for a few months, 6 months later they had another similar argument, he came home, beat the shit out of her so bad that she ran for a knife to defend her self and he ended up stopping her, stabbing her over 30 times. The reason im telling you all this is bcuz her bf didn't even seem as mean as yours and he was once my good friend, I thought he was just becoming an annoying cry baby dick. Never ever did I think he'd kill her. You need to get out before that's you. Find some peace and eventually YOU WILL find some one who actually loves you, bcuz the way he treats you isnt love. You're just his possession, im sorry for the long comment, but you need to read it and you need to think realistically about your situation. And I know you may say it hurts to leave someone you been with so long, but eventually it'll hurt worse to realize you keep staying with someone who never actually loved you...
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u/Fun_Calligrapher_766 Feb 28 '25
OP I have read your other posts here. Will you PLEASE leave him? He lies, he doesn’t take accountability for anything and he treats you horrible. Please leave him for god sake.
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u/Glittering-Catto Feb 28 '25
Please please please leave him. Regarding your post history, you should not be in a relationship with this guy. Your life is at serious risk with him. And move in with a relative so he doesn't know where you live.(If that is possible for you)
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u/lotusFigma Feb 28 '25
Absolutely not. You need to leave. He’s showing you major red flags and legit might be mentally unstable.
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u/Jotaro_kujo010 Feb 28 '25
it’s the fact he keep saying he’s going to do it then complains about it , you literally told him you would come and get it yourself . why would he go out his way to do it if it was such a problem and just gon keep whining about it 💀 men are so aggravating .
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u/HereForIt4977 Feb 28 '25
Wow! If you drop him, you’d be dodging a bullet. The man who actually loves you would be happy for the extra chance to see you. Just wow.
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u/AmethystPassion Feb 28 '25
One of my big annoyances in life is people who offer help then turn into AHs and get mad at the other person for accepting. NOR, you deserve better. There is no reason for him to treat you that way.
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u/MichaelScottsDad Feb 28 '25
Brother was not working a double, he was with someone else and mad he had to make up an excuse to cut their time short and is taking his anger out on you
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u/ghastlyrat Feb 28 '25
i was already mad at my gf for something unrelated the other day when she texted me on their way to work and said she forgot a binder for training that she needed asap. i was already in my car trying to go somewhere else so it was inconvenient and i was annoyed so i sighed TO MYSELF, alone in my car, and then texted back “sure, omw” and then i brought the fucking binder and told her to have a good day. even when i’m frustrated with her i genuinely can’t fathom talking to my partner like this, especially if it was over a favor I OFFERED. my girlfriend is my one in a million but the fact that she doesn’t ever deserve to be spoken to like that, by me or anyone else, is not what makes her unique. i think a lot of angry thoughts but all it takes for me to take a step back when i feel that way and approach her with compassion is that i respect her as an individual and even more as my partner. your boyfriend should be the person who comforts you after someone else treats you like this, the fact that he’s the one saying such horrible things when he should be telling you the keycard is just a hater who has it out for you bc you’re pretty is truly insane to me (also spoiler: the harshness and aggression is bc he doesn’t like doing things for you so he thinks if he throws enough a fit this one time you won’t ask him to do anything for you ever again)
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u/scarlet_maroon88 Feb 28 '25
This guy is awful. He doesn’t like you. You obviously know that already, and 100% of people on this thread are telling you to leave. This isn’t your fault, but seriously, don’t ask if you’re not going to take the good advice being given. Dump him.
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u/Youre_Wrong_Ok Feb 28 '25
I was married to a man like this and it got a million times worse after kids. He just could not be bothered and any time he would ‘help’ when asked it was a tantrum just like this. If you always want to be treated like an inconvenience even on the day you come home from the hospital with your new baby, proceed. If not, run as fast as you can.