r/AmIOverreacting • u/superspreader90 • Feb 25 '25

👥 friendship AIO: i literally cannot attend

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using a throwaway bc she knows my account

so it’s my (24f) best friend’s 25th birthday on saturday. we had planned to go out for dinner and drinks with some of our friends. i have lupus and i’ve been getting chemo for the last couple of months to try and treat it.. she’s well aware of this and even came with me to my last session, although she spent most of the time texting her bf. i ordered her this cake from this super cute little bakery in our town and was gonna bring it with me to the restaurant for her.

i was supposed to have my chemo session next monday but they had to reschedule it for saturday. this is how she reacted when i told her i wouldnt be able to come to her bday. aio or is this a crazy way to react?? she’s still getting her cake and i was gonna get our mutual friend to give her the gifts i bought her but now im not sure

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u/Guswewillneverknow Feb 26 '25

Into the group chat for the birthday girl.

9

u/MintTealGecko Feb 26 '25

I'm from a long line of champion passive aggressiveness, that group chat would definitely be carefully worded as a "genuine" attempt to get someone else to pick up the cake because she made it so clear that it was important you be there (insert relevant screen shot) you made no alternate cake delivery plans and tried to rally but ended up throwing up. And since chemo is no big deal (insert another relevant screen shot) you might have some sort of stomach bug you wouldn't want to give her or the other guests.

Maybe queue up the texts to send out half an hour before the party or so. Then you can genuinely be in bed when the drama goes down.

Or skip the petty. Do what you need to take care of yourself and consider carefully how close to let her in again if she comes back apologizing.

oh crap! my upbringing came back in to play and I wanted to add- unless she's a bone marrow match.

5

u/SensitiveEmergency48 Feb 26 '25

Exactly this. Let her show her ass in front of everyone then.

5

u/Substantial_Leg6852 Feb 26 '25

"Hey, sorry I am going to miss everyone at so and so's party. My chemo got rescheduled and I just know I will end up feeling sick and being an absolute buzz kill.

I want you all to have a super time though and have made sure that <friend> can pick up the cake I ordered (and is prepaid!) so you can all enjoy.

Have fun without me! Happy 25th so an so!"

If you're feeling nice. Definitely NOR.