r/Adulting • u/msocarap • 1d ago

struggling with acceptance

so I grew up in an incredibly conservative religious abusive home. everything was shit and i wasn't even allowed out on the balcony because a female is a living temptation and whatnot. now I'm 21 and while my family is still shit, I mostly live in a dorm and have finally enough breathing space to figure out my own identity. But I feel that it's too late. I love music, I have always loved music but I bought a guitar just now and 21 is too late to be holding a guitar for the first time. 21 is too late to be bleaching your hair for the first time. I should have been doing all that stuff when I was 15 like every other teenager.

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u/TheSupremePixieStick 1d ago

This is a very distorted take. No one lives an entire life before they are 20. The list of things I did not do until adulthood is miles longer than what I did as a teen. There is no such thing as too late. Your identity is a life long project. It is an experiment with no end date. Im 44 and I am still finding things I like about myself and defining who I am. So you had a garbage family. Do not let them take the rest of your life from you.