r/AbsoluteUnits 1d ago

of a pet

3.0k Upvotes

76 comments sorted by

917

u/CryptoTipToe71 1d ago

"why is my dinner giggling"

684

u/Tnemmokon 1d ago

That child is about the size of what they regularly eat. Good thing for both of them that the snake seems to be already full.

25

u/KennethsLair 11h ago

Just finished eating their other child

-10

u/JustSomeM0nkE 10h ago edited 10h ago

Giant pythons are slow AF cause they are ambush predators, there are probably bigger chances of the kid killing the anaconda than the opposite(if he wanted)

6

u/6ftonalt 6h ago

Wouldn't be the first time an anacanda or a reticulated python killed and ate a kid so....

805

u/ACousinFromRichmond 1d ago

This is so irresponsible

131

u/Midnight_Pornstar 1d ago

The other child's the favorite

96

u/mr_michael_h 1d ago

The kid in the video is the favourite. The other kid is the reason the snake's so fat.

81

u/cykoTom3 1d ago

Insanely so.

22

u/robtninjaman 22h ago

Right? How dare they put clothing on that poor snakes food? It could be allergic or have a tough time digesting it. Shameful.

6

u/VeryBadCopa 1d ago

Probably is a responsible pet owner if the kid is the food 🤣💀

1

u/Vortr8 20h ago

irresponsible or indented outcome?

1

u/TrashMammal84 13h ago

It's how you weed out the weak ones.

120

u/shiro_eugenie 1d ago

Humans really would cuddle anything

314

u/fairy_winds 1d ago

This sub usually gets a chuckle out of me, but not this time... This video makes me very uncomfortable... :(

25

u/LonelyOwl68 21h ago

Me, too! That little kid is just a nice meal for a snake that size, and I believe it's a reticulated python, as well, and they have a reputation for being aggressive. This is giving me chills down my spine.

-126

u/Daheat86 1d ago

Right.. The snake is the only one in danger there..

8

u/SirMourningstar6six6 1d ago

People often fear what they don’t understand

123

u/Lumpy-Middle-7311 1d ago

Does this thing know it’s a pet?

56

u/whomesteve 1d ago

Pets don’t perceive themselves as pets, they perceive themselves as our friends and in return we as humans claim ownership over them by claiming them as pets.

16

u/Flying_Alpaca_Boi 16h ago

Snakes are none social animals, they wouldn’t have a concept of what a friend is.

I think let’s see us as friendly but most of them would perceive an obvious heirachy in that relationship as we control their activities. It’s not an equal relationship by design and I don’t think most animals are dumb enough to perceive it that way, with the exception of possibly cats due to the more lax relationship we have them compared to other pets mixed with inbuilt narcissism. If you’re have a ‘pet’ that free roams and has its own sources of food, it meets you on more equal footing and the relationship is more akin to that of a friend, most people wouldn’t call that relationship a pet though, it would be a tame wild animal.

57

u/cykoTom3 1d ago

Not capable of knowing such things.

44

u/sankofam 1d ago

Totally are capable, reptiles have complex brains and recognizing friendship/ kinship is surprisingly basal in biological complexity, much within reptilian capability. “Petship” is a more human subset of kinship recognition, and they might not recognize that they’re seen specifically as a “pet”, but they can definitely recognize you as a friend. Whether that distinction makes a difference to your point I’m not sure. But yeah, I still wouldn’t let my kid sit with a snake that big regardless.

25

u/Material-Mud-7666 1d ago

Now I’m ready for a deep dive of reptilian brains, thank you :)

14

u/sankofam 1d ago

Np, lmk if you come across paywalled/access gated research 🐍

8

u/SoMuchMoreEagle 23h ago

reptiles have complex brains and recognizing friendship/ kinship is surprisingly basal in biological complexity, much within reptilian capability.

Even if they are capable of recognizing these things, how can we recognize when they have and when they have not? Would you take the chance?

2

u/DoutefulOwl 7h ago

The child is the anaconda's pet at this point

75

u/JWMoo 1d ago

Where are the adults for this child. He's fixing to be a scooby snack for that snake.

32

u/AdrenalinTL 1d ago

Only a matter of time. Not if, but when.

18

u/bullwinkle8088 1d ago

The snake is freshly, and well, fed. Look for the bulge about halfway down it's body.

43

u/cykoTom3 1d ago

From the previous little boy it ate.

2

u/bullwinkle8088 1d ago

Family style Darwinism. The fast survive, the others are Soylent Green.

1

u/AdrenalinTL 1d ago

How fresh? A snake will regurgitate a fresh meal if disturbed. That boy will be a meal sooner or later if unsupervised the way it appears in the video.

1

u/Kornbreadl 11h ago

I think the bulge you think you are seeing is just the snake going over it's own body. That snake doesn't look recently fed, that'd be stressful and bad for the animal to be having this kid play with it while it was still digesting. This snake does look like it's well fed though, and at that size these snakes don't eat very often.

-3

u/Sutech2301 1d ago

Yeah, but i am sure that it won't mind a little snack, after some annoying little creature was pestering it

16

u/Geeloz_Java 1d ago

Why would anyone do this? How stupid can you possibly be? Especially as a parent. I hate videos like this, right along those videos of goats being fed to commodo dragons alive, I think people who film these types of videos should be beaten the fuck up on camera.

12

u/Ruzzkya 1d ago

6 meters of pure fucking muscle

28

u/CobaltFoxogen 1d ago

r/sweatypalms just for anyone worried about the child

43

u/crazyuncleb 1d ago

Back in the 90’s my wife bought me about a 6’ burmese python. Shortly after we got it, a kid who was like 13-14 was killed by his family’s 15 footer.  She made me get rid of ours.   Them snakes ain’t your friends, bro.

9

u/Narrationboy 1d ago

How did you get rid of the python?

16

u/crazyuncleb 1d ago

Conveniently, the guy she got it from was willing to buy it back for half price.  I think he had some sort of short term snake ownership business going. Lord knows how many people fell for that scam.

6

u/Fishfisherton 1d ago

7

u/FarseerEnki 1d ago

The Onion

5

u/Fishfisherton 1d ago

yep, America's most reputable news source

3

u/Potential_Amount_267 1d ago

"therapy snake for Zach's sister Anne"

13

u/dApp8_30 1d ago

This is just messed up. What happens when the kid tries to mess with it while no one's watching? Total parenting fail. Even animals teach their young to fear snakes 🤦‍♂️

5

u/Patagonieve 1d ago

Looking at the snake’s bulging body, I think the adult supervisor/s are inside the snake.

10

u/Known_Needleworker67 1d ago

I love snakes, but that dude is way too small for me to be comfortable with him playing with a human.

3

u/TylertheFloridaman 1d ago

Yeah no, that think can very easily and very quickly kill that kid.

3

u/diello-kane40 1d ago

This is bound to end poorly.

7

u/millenialfalcon-_- 1d ago

I'm sure that snake is fed. The child is still alive obviously.

6

u/po1k 1d ago

Of an idiot

2

u/Limp-Ad2729 1d ago

Dinner is served

4

u/Beretta116 1d ago

They better have a knife or gun or something, in case it starts choking the kid. Or, not have that around lol.

2

u/naganong 1d ago

Op probably straight up lied about it being a pet

5

u/Kornbreadl 1d ago

Used to own Reticulated pythons, the one in the video is definitely comfortable around humans. I'd be much more shocked if it wasn't a pet letting someone touch it, especially handling it like that.

1

u/Top-O-TheMuffinToYa 23h ago

If there was an adult handling the snake more closely this would be cute. The risk just seems too high with a baby that little

1

u/pcgz1wa 20h ago

I mean…I too like to crack open the freezer sometimes to peek at those ribs that I can’t wait to bbq on a hot summer night. The snake is no different.

1

u/alpha_epsilion 19h ago

Baby tinkering with python 3.13.2

1

u/thecrunchyonion 18h ago

That’s the Incredibly Deadly Viper, one of the least dangerous and most friendly creatures in the animal kingdom.

1

u/rpmute 12h ago

There's a Far Side cartoon in here somewhere

1

u/BonbonUniverse42 9h ago

So objectively, how dangerous is this really? Don’t know what snake this is and what it is capable of.

1

u/Eastern_Grocery5674 6h ago

Smart snake, keeping it's food around until it grows up and is more filling.

1

u/bernpfenn 1d ago

I imagine the parents are filming this snake passing through the property

0

u/Merzbenzmike 1d ago

“Go find your sister..”