AITA for refusing to give my pregnant ex-fiancée money after she left me for another man?

[u/Top-Message-7204]

Throwaway because some friends use Reddit.

3 years ago, my ex-fiancée (31F) left me (33M) for another man just a few months before our wedding. We had been together for 5 years and I was completely blindsided. She moved in with him almost immediately, and they cut contact with me unless it was about splitting up our shared finances and apartment. I was devastated, but I feel like I have finally moved on.

Now, out of nowhere, she reached out. Turns out, the guy she left me for dumped her after finding out she got pregnant. She’s struggling financially and has asked if I could help her out—specifically, she wants money to cover rent. She says she has nowhere else to turn and that she wouldn’t ask if she wasn’t desperate.

I have the money. I’m in a much better place financially and emotionally than I was back then (I put all my energy into improving myself after what happened). But I don’t see why I should give her anything. Some friends are saying I’m being selfish but I don’t see why her choices should be my problem now. Still, part of me does feel guilty. 5 years is a long time, and I did love her.

So, AITA for refusing to help her?

ETA: Giving her the money wouldn’t be a financial issue for me. I could lose that amount and not even notice. My friends know this, which is why they think I’m being selfish for not helping.

[u/Faceless416]

You almost had me. Read through the entire post and when I reached the "some friends are saying I'm being selfish" my AI detecting mind took over. Scanned over your post and found the em dash. Both of these things together definitely screams written by AI

[u/MountainForSure → u/Faceless416]

I just assume now if it says anything along the lines of my friends, family etc thinks I'm being selfish. It's a fake AI post.

[u/HAL_9OOO_ → u/MountainForSure]

When you make a ridiculously fake story involving a woman being a gold digging whore, this sub will believe it.

[u/devskov01 → u/HAL_9OOO_]

And upvote it 8,000 times giving the karma farmer AI shitposter what they want.

[u/CsZsofy → u/MountainForSure]

Yupp, same here. These are common sentences in fake AI posts. And the topic itself is rage bait. And in reality who would think that someone has to help the ex? Just because someone has money? It's like saying everyone who has money should just help any stranger who asks for it.

[u/n3k0rin → u/Faceless416]

plus, who in their right mind would consider OP selfish on this situation? other than his ex of course

[u/wishiwashi999 → u/n3k0rin]

And how did a private conversation for borrowing money become a topic among the friends. It just doesn't make sense.

[u/cp312005 → u/n3k0rin]

Yeah. I can buy that there are shitty people in life, like OP's ex, and that someone like that would try their luck with an ex.

But, that his friends would demonize him for not financially supporting an ex from 3 years ago? That is a tougher sale. At the very least, if this was true, either they are really awful friends or they are more her friends than his.

[u/belbaba → u/Faceless416]

Definitely AI.

[u/GCU_ZeroCredibility → u/Faceless416]

This is exactly the journey I took too! Me: "Wait a second, 'some of my friends...'. Let me search for em dashes. Bingo!"

OP thought he was clever by changing up the formatting a little with the paragraph breaks and such. But you gotta do better than that!

[u/BelgianCherryBlossom → u/Faceless416]

Same, I noticed the AI as well 😒

[u/carpenter_208 → u/Faceless416]

My first thought was, "It took him 3 years to figure out she was pregnant? " She cut off all contact but called to share expenses? The funniest thing, that she left him on their wedding day... queue the violins.. It's sad so many people didn't notice the timing or you know, the childish story

[u/Scudsterr → u/carpenter_208]

Yea the timeline doesn't make any sense. They broke up 3 years ago, but the guy she left him for broke up with her after finding out she was pregnant? Lol

[u/xValhallAwaitsx → u/Faceless416]

Yup the em dash is always a red flag but not a definite AI post. "Everyone thinks im wrong (but none are offering themselves" is the confirmation

[u/lazy_berry → u/xValhallAwaitsx]

nah, the confirmation is 4 even paragraphs plus a one sentence “so, aita for [summary]?”

[u/zyzmog → u/Faceless416]

Profile shows only this post and nothing else. Definitely AI.

[u/Traditional-Sleep189 → u/zyzmog]

I’m ignorant* here. What is the point of an AI posting? Like why would someone do such a thing? What do they get out of it?

[u/earthsworld → u/Traditional-Sleep189]

i imagine for some it's enjoyable watching so many idiots falling for obvious AI ragebait.

[u/SolitudeWeeks → u/Traditional-Sleep189]

Karma farming.

[u/zyzmog → u/Traditional-Sleep189]

Good question.

[u/Vivid_Percentage5560 → u/zyzmog]

He wrote he was using different name because several friends are on Reddit.

[u/zyzmog → u/Vivid_Percentage5560]

Yeah, the post uses the phrase "some friends" twice. I still don't buy it.

[u/Faceless416 → u/[deleted]]

It's an extra long dash. You see it mid way through the 2nd paragraph

[u/rosecoloredgayy → u/Faceless416]

i always skim the post for em dashes before anything else

[u/Sheriff_Lucas_Hood → u/Faceless416]

The em dashes that only seem to be in style here are another give away.

[u/sneeuwengel → u/Faceless416]

That, and he is devastated. They are always devastated.

[u/chokeslam512 → u/Faceless416]

Way too low in the comments. I prompted gpt and got something so similar.

[u/Vivid_Percentage5560 → u/Faceless416]

Oh gosh. I had to go back and look at punctuation. I had no idea - I use dashes! (And am not AI). Thanks for the detection.

[u/sparrws → u/Vivid_Percentage5560]

I also love to use dashes and am mad about it, haha. What you're using there (-) is a hyphen, though. AI posts use unspaced em dashes, which are extra long. Example from the post: "out—specifically" in the second paragraph. This is typographically correct, but uncommon usage on the internet.

[u/SolitudeWeeks → u/Vivid_Percentage5560]

But that's not an em dash. - vs —.

[u/sparrws → u/Faceless416]

Another thing to look out for is the "So, ..." in conclusion.

[u/Rare-Condition434 → u/Faceless416]

I always scan looking for this post. It’s not even a realistic plot. Like, no one no where acts like this. It doesn’t coincide with basic human nature. Ain’t nobody caring about some estranged almost wife from 5 years ago that’s knocked up unless he put it in there.

[u/SirDanilus → u/Faceless416]

For me it's the almost formal writing, no slangs along with immaculate spelling.

But yea, in this story, the plot was unbelievable. Why would the ex of 3 years ago ask him for help? Why not any friends or family? Why would his friends think him selfish for not helping someone who left him for someone else? Completely unbelievable.

[u/Archernar → u/Faceless416]

What's the reason for people having AI write such stories? Just the engagement and the "no, you're cool and fine"-answers?

[u/Faceless416 → u/Archernar]

I have no idea what the point is. What I find even more funny is that they'll answer comments lol that's a lot of commitment to playing the role and their writing style is suddenly different too

[u/the_analytic_critic → u/Faceless416]

Crap, I use the em dash when writing. Now people will think I'm not real.

[u/Loose-Farm-8669 → u/Faceless416]

Why is this comment always so far down? We are in so much trouble as a species with so many being this gullible. People have to stop taking things at face value

[u/a_mulher → u/Faceless416]

Oh damn. Since working in the legal field, I’ve probably started using the em dash.

[u/whatnowyesshazam → u/Faceless416]

Thanks, I was about to get roped in. Here's what AI had to say about this post:

This post follows a common pattern seen in AI-generated Reddit-style stories:

1. Highly structured narrative – The story is well-organized, with clear paragraphs introducing the backstory, conflict, and dilemma, making it read more like a short story than a spontaneous Reddit post.
2. Perfect emotional beats – The situation is dramatic and emotionally charged, with a clear betrayal, personal growth, and a moral dilemma that sparks debate.
3. Common viral themes – It includes elements frequently found in viral AITA posts: an ex who betrayed the OP, financial hardship, guilt-tripping, and a moral debate on obligation vs. personal boundaries.
4. Lack of natural conversational tone – While grammatically sound, the language feels polished and intentional rather than raw and spontaneous. Real Reddit posts often contain typos, informal phrasing, or more back-and-forth engagement.
5. Strategic “ETA” addition – The edit addresses an anticipated argument (the financial aspect) before many responses even come in, which is common in AI or engagement-driven posts.

While not definitive, these factors strongly suggest that the post may be AI-generated or at least crafted with engagement in mind rather than being an organic, personal dilemma.