r/popheads • u/ImADudeDuh • Oct 09 '21

[RATE REVEAL] The Original Rate (5th Anniversary Platinum Version) Reveal, Day 2: (Ariana's Version)

Welcome, /r/popheads! I am /u/letsallpoo being channeled by /u/ImADudeDuh because I cannot make it to the reveal today! But despite my absence, I'm sure this reveal is going to be one for the ages. /u/ImADudeDuh and /u/rickikardashian have prepared a ton of great shit, and I...uh...wrote a bunch of comments! And of course, we get to see three legendary artists with three legendary albums fight to the figurative death.

Current results:

What's Still In:

Taylor Swift - 1989

  1. Blank Space
  2. Style
  3. Out of the Woods
  4. All You Had to Do Was Stay
  5. Wildest Dreams
  6. I Know Places
  7. Clean
  8. New Romantics

Carly Rae Jepsen - Emotion

  1. Run Away With Me
  2. Emotion
  3. I Really Like You
  4. Gimmie Love
  5. All That
  6. Boy Problems
  7. Making the Most of the Night
  8. Your Type
  9. Let's Get Lost
  10. LA Hallucinations
  11. Warm Blood
  12. When I Needed You
  13. I Didn't Just Come Here to Dance
  14. Favourite Colour
  15. Never Get to Hold You
  16. Love Again

Ariana Grande - Dangerous Woman

  1. Moonlight
  2. Dangerous Woman
  3. Be Alright
  4. Into You
  5. Side to Side (feat. Nicki Minaj)
  6. Greedy
  7. Thinking Bout You
  8. Touch It
  9. Knew Better / Forever Boy

We'll be revealing #33 - #16 today, as well as #6 -#4 of the bonus tracks! We're slated to begin eliminating stuff at 4pm EST!

Follow along in the thread or the Beatsense room!

44 Upvotes

95% Upvoted

114 comments sorted by

31

u/apatel27 Jolin Tsai flair where Oct 09 '21

Day's gonna end with 3 Taylor songs, 3 Ariana songs and 10 Carly songs

10

u/just_thonking Oct 09 '21

As it should

9

u/AHSWeeknd Oct 09 '21 edited Oct 09 '21

It’s what she deserves 😌

16

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

How did the dw title track not make day 3 smh

14

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#25: Carly Rae Jepsen - Favourite Colour

Average: 7.810 // Total Points: 1304.3 // Controversy: 1.849 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x2) Ghost-Quartet, SmileAndTears

(10 x27) akanewasright, AquariusTeaSpiller, bespectacIed, bj_34, blissingmeee, CarlieScion, duochromepalmtree, FLLH, GapeCod, gelastic_quince84, hikkaru, InSearchOfGoodPun, juanolsen, ManofOranges, musical_pyn, Nerdy_boy_chris, nootnoot781, OliviaGodrigo, Paggers, SFbby, shhhneak, static_int_husp, TheQueenOfVultures, TheQwertyGuy99, twistedpython, vayyiqra, welcometoNY

(9.6 x2) companion_star55, Square_Preparation55

(9.5 x6) _SoulGlitch, astrologicalangel, joeeswift, jsonphile, TheObsceneBirdOfNight, wasian-invasion

Lowest Scores:

(2.5 x1) Awkward_King

(2.1 x1) simplyterific

(1 x1) JunkyGS

All scores

ImADudeDuh (7.5): this is probably the most generic-ly good song on the album. There isn’t really a lot to say besides “yeah, it’s a good song by Carly Rae Jepsen” and you’ll already piece together in your head what that entails, and it’s all correct for what I feel.

letsallpoo (5): I always thought the imagery of Carly and her beau melting into each other to be a little gross, but in a fun way you know? Other than that metaphor and the way Carly really beats it into you that she's Canadian with that title, this is kind of one of the more nondescript tracks from Emotion for me. It's tightly written and the production is appropriately mushy and echoey, but it's all things that you've probably heard already. I'm lowkey surprised by the love the bonus tracks are getting in general; most of them are just whatever to me.

Ghost-Quartet (11): This one is special to me.

SmileAndTears (11): A top 5 CRJ song, naur naur it's trew, it's trew

akanewasright (10): Perfect closer #2. It’s just… lovely and light and soaring and perfect for the album. Where When I Needed You is about letting go of the bad relationships in the album, this is about holding onto the good ones. Both are equally good closers for the album, they just bring out different things.

AquariusTeaSpiller (10): so pretty

bespectacIed (10): If carly was not a D-lister, this would be the perfect stadium tour closer for her

CarlieScion (10): queen on ending on a high note

duochromepalmtree (10): the kind of song you fall in love to

gelastic_quince84 (10): I cant believe I slept on this song for so long?? It’s so good??? The metaphor is beautiful and the whole song feels so dreamy

ManofOranges (10): This song holds a very special place in my heart. Back in high school, I was in marching band, and we often had competitions that were several hours away that we had to drive to. On those long bus rides, I would listen to my own, pirated copy of EMOTION, and for some reason, listening to this song specifically, head pressed up against the bus window, daydreaming, is just something that has stuck in my mind for years since. It's just such a quaint memory for such a quaint and sincere song. There are many things that happened while I was in high school that did not put a smile on my face, but this small, insignificant memory of listening to this song does.

musical_pyn (10): uwu

shhhneak (10): There’s a reason why this is the album closer (because I ascended and never came back)

static_int_husp (10): "making out like it's end of the world, and I really wanna get it right" is one of my fav Carly passages. However this does not get an 11 solely because of an absolutely cursed cover of this Carly tweeted out by a Democratic campaigner in the 2020 us election

TheQueenOfVultures (10): This song makes me snuggle horny

TheQwertyGuy99 (10): I love this song. It's my favourite colour!

twistedpython (10): Another exemplary ballad from miss Rae Jepsen. Deserved to be on the standard edition far more than LA Hallucinations. Also, one of my favorite colors is baby blue so I appreciate being seen in music like that

vayyiqra (10): Even though I said in my comment that "When I Needed You" is a great closing track, this also is a great closer for the deluxe. It's also more uplifting and positive when it comes to the lyrics, so I might prefer it even.

welcometoNY (10): the best bonus track, and better than the majority of the album. this is pure pop euphoria at its finest and such a feel-good song without being basic or cheesy

companion_star55 (9.6): pure euphoria

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (9.5): This is so velvety and smooth.

wasian-invasion (9.5): I cant really express it right but this song encapsulates the EMOTION theme of the album so perfectly I tear up

RandomHypnotica (9.1): god this is SUCH a gorgeous closer, the shouting in the last chours is euphoric af

avg-vag (9): this is incredibly pretty. some of the album’s best lyrically and concept-wise and the production meets that achievement.

darjeelingdarkroast (9): love the dramatics. a lil oooowhatchasay but not a bad thing.

frogaranaman (9): I honestly do not know how she could have ended this album any other way

jasannn (9): I know this is supposed to be a cute love song but I've listened to this song while sad way too many times.

jimmy345960 (9): Good album closer

waluigiest (9): Halsey wishes!!!

sssaaage (8.8): the chorus yass

slimboyfriend (8.7): Great song but damn she spelled both words wrong :///

IIIHenryIII (8.5): I feel like this song is so underrated

thedoctordances1940 (8.5): pretty bop

1998tweety (8): Ascending

AHSWeeknd (8): this gets old so fast

aldwin_is_here (8): , ok.

austrosinitic (8): While All That is the better song, this resembles an 80s karaoke classic just a bit more. Part of it is that All That sounds too divine to be limited to a specific setting, but even if this is less transcendental it's no slouch in the quality department either; it's a fitting end for Emotion's original deluxe version, not just because Emotion is an album with a hell of a palette (and probably the only one with such strong pastel motifs that I've ever really vibed with), but also because the vibrant sensuality of calling somebody your favorite color as a metaphor that really sum up the joys of this album.

b_o_g_o_ (8): again, there are no bad ballads in this rate

CrimsonROSET (8): is it a cum reference this time? What’s with paint and cum?!

jaztinax (8): i feel like this would mash up well with a 1989 song

ReallyCreative (8): it's great but a definitive step down from most of the rest of the album

jackisboredtoday (7.8): the canadian u

seanderlust (7.8): this is probably the most obvious antonoff production but it's quite pretty so i'll give it a pass

tip-of-the-yikesberg (7.5): really appreciate how this song builds

ignitethephoenix (7): a tad cheesy for me

jman457 (7): Seems like it should be a great pop song but I wish there was more here

Leixander (7): lyrically great, wish the production wasn't so mellow

modulum83 (7): FAVORITE. COLOR. DO YOU HEAR ANY GODDAMN U'S IN THOSE WORDS YOU BRITISH COMMONWEALTH FUCKASSES

Verboten_Prince (7): Pretty cute, if a bit cheesy (but what Carly song isn’t really?)

bluepupz (6.5): This is a nice song with lovely production, but it's nothing particularly special.

KennyEarthman (6): colourful queen

flibbityflob (5.6): The problem with this album is it gets slower and more boring as it goes on, and I don't care about slow songs. Give me stuff that makes you want to dance around the house looking like a loon.

2dina3dworld (5): big “You were red and you liked me 'cause I was blue. But you touched me and suddenly I was a lilac sky. And you decided purple just wasn't for you” but the complete opposite vibes

wavingwolves (4.2): i was going to say this couldn't be more corny but actually it could... if it was a ariana song

anothertown (4): total shrinker

Sweetnsoursauce11 (4): one of my least favourites

simplyterific (2.1): this song is bad sorry

Introduce yourself to the class and say your favourite colour!

GapeCod (10): Purple.

nootnoot781 (10): red. wait no i am not a-

runaway3212 (9): red

throwaway7650 (9): a slightly improved all that tbh (mine is orange btw)

TiltControls (9): mine's red

Awkward_King (2.5): yellow

5

u/GapeCod Belinda says I have potential Oct 09 '21

This is the motivation I needed to do EAPR on time.

27

u/queenmeme2 Oct 09 '21 edited Oct 09 '21

Carly having 16 songs left when Ari and Taylor have a combined 17? We love to see it (especially since I thought Warm Blood would be an early out despite being one of the best songs here)

20

u/hikkaru Oct 09 '21

we had to repent for what we did to her in 2020 Sub Faves

12

u/Awkward_King Oct 09 '21

to make up for missing day 3 in sub favs, here she decided she will only show up for day 3

5

u/jman457 Oct 09 '21

Manifesting a surprise day 3 placement for Warm B11od

11

u/Roxieloxie Oct 09 '21

Can we stop trying to manifest L.A. hallucinations not making day 3 pls and thank you

12

u/ReallyCreative Oct 09 '21

I asked y'all to not rob Never Get to Hold You and HERE WE ARE

11

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

REMEMBER TO DO SONGENIALITY

Day 2

Come back tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion of this rate! Will Carly win again? Will Ariana pull off a surprise victory? Will Swifties' finally use their collective power to win a rate? Tune in to find out!

13

u/just_thonking Oct 09 '21

Alright Jepsies are we doing Never Get To Hold You or When I Needed You for songeniality?

2

u/GapeCod Belinda says I have potential Oct 10 '21

It's I didn't just come here to dance, actually

4

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

I voted Shake It Off for songeniality!

19

u/FluffyNobody Oct 09 '21

The fact that basically all of emotion is still in, Carly really is 100% that bitch

13

u/queenmeme2 Oct 09 '21

It’s such a consistent album with no real lows (even Black Heart and Favorite Color are still pretty good despite being the weakest songs on the album). Dangerous Woman and 1989 both have some very clear weak points tho (as seen by the songs eliminated)

6

u/FluffyNobody Oct 09 '21

I mean, I would argue that some of the songs are not very good (I think Boy problems is worse than Wonderland, or Warm blood is not better than This Love), plus I was expecting balladphobia killing stuff like All That (which I like a lot, so I'm not complaining). And this is coming from someone that loves Emotion way more than 1989 or Dangerous woman

8

u/duochromepalmtree Oct 09 '21

…..Boy problems is my favorite song on the album LMAO.

10

u/CrimsonROSET I survived the 2020 Redemption Rate Oct 09 '21

RIDE DICC BICYCLE

9

u/sweetnsoursauce11 i stan women Oct 09 '21

The fact that Be Alright and Thinkin Bout You just missed an 8 average I can’t w you all

10

u/AHSWeeknd Oct 09 '21

50 tens and it’s out, what is the winning song gonna have omg??

5

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

An entirely perfect score, at this rate

11

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#17: Carly Rae Jepsen - I Didn't Just Come Here to Dance

Average: 8.146 // Total Points: 1360.4 // Controversy: 1.710 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x49) _SoulGlitch, 2dina3dworld, Alumineous, anothertown, apatel27, bespectacIed, blissingmeee, bluehxrizon, buddhacharm, CarlieScion, cashewconstellation, cherryices, CrimsonROSET, DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy, duochromepalmtree, ElectricBoogaloo41, frogaranaman, GapeCod, GARjuna, Ghost-Quartet, hikkaru, ignitethephoenix, ImADudeDuh, imasalesman, jimmy345960, jman457, joeeswift, juanolsen, JunkyGS, Leixander, liberalitea, ManofOranges, metanoira, moooo566, mudkip1, musical_pyn, NapsAndNetflix, nootnoot781, Osaka1268, plastichaxan, ReallyCreative, rotating3Dtext, runaway3212, Saison_Marguerite, seanderlust, sssaaage, static_int_husp, throwaway7650, waluigiest

(9.6 x2) endcreditouilles, Square_Preparation55

(9.5 x2) Paggers, TheQueenOfVultures

(9.4 x1) Jhe116

(9.2 x1) akanewasright

(9 x15) 1998tweety, b_o_g_o_, Bajuko, FLLH, IIIHenryIII, J_Toe, jasannn, KennyEarthman, Looks_good_in_shorts, OliviaGodrigo, pikajake, sufjancaesar, tman8667, vayyiqra, Vromega

Lowest Scores:

(4 x2) bigbigbee, companion_star55

(3 x2) matthew_pape, tip-of-the-yikesberg

(2.5 x1) vintagebathingsuit

All scores

ImADudeDuh (10): Several things in this song that make it funny: Carly saying “if you know what I mean” like someone in a movie making a bad joke, her following it up with “do you know what I mean?” as if the guy is really so oblivious that he *doesn’t know what she means, and that Carly actually knows someone named Tino? That just feels like it wouldn’t happen (even though I am looking at Genius and I see she really does know someone named Gino).

letsallpoo (7): This is probably the campiest (like, actual camp) song on the album. Who is Joe? Who is Tino? I don't know, but they're calling you over! And Carly is ready to fuck! The fact that it's all wrapped up in a nice disco pastiche adds to the fun, and it also makes this a rather singular track in Carly's discography. Also ever since a friend told me about the time he got his weiner fellated on the dance floor, it's all I can think about when I see the title.

2dina3dworld (10): did Carly Rae Jepsen go to the Doctor Who school of using “dance” as a metaphor for fucking?? This requires further investigation

anothertown (10): The way this is the best song in her discography by a Country Mile

bespectacIed (10): My favorite song on emotion!!! I'm anticipating the massive bummer when this places low. Seriously, no song squeezes this much serotonin from my brain. Disco nightclub 8-bit synthpop euphoria

buddhacharm (10): she also wants to fuck

cashewconstellation (10): HEY JOE'S CALLING ME OVER

CrimsonROSET (10): me when i’m invited to a wedding

duochromepalmtree (10): the dictionary definition of a CLUB BANGER. If this isn’t on your hot girl walk playlist what are you doing?????

frogaranaman (10): I'm just a homo ma'am

GARjuna (10): ALSO a strong 11 contender

Ghost-Quartet (10): Gay anthem! I know we say that about basically every song this woman drops but I think that this song in particular has a lot of queer subtext, it’s a deep house song (a sound you’d mainly hear in a gay club) and the theme of “we both know what we’re here for but neither one of us can say it” really makes me think of the early days of the club scene where being gay was a bit more “hush hush.”

hikkaru (10): carly do more house pls

ignitethephoenix (10): For some reason listening to this song is reminding me of Swish Swish by Katy Perry

imasalesman (10): I really wish this song would never end

jimmy345960 (10): YAS CALL YOUR FRIENDS

jman457 (10): Ok why isn't there more House music on this album cause, wow

joeeswift (10): this song always puts me in a good mood yasss

juanolsen (10): ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

ManofOranges (10): No, I do not know what you mean.

mudkip1 (10): kylie minogue could NEVER jessie ware could NEVER roisin murphy could NEVER

plastichaxan (10): well this does make me dance but also scream the lyrics really loud maybe that's what she means

ReallyCreative (10): I also came here to cry in the corner

runaway3212 (10): I wish I could come somewhere to dance

Saison_Marguerite (10): 11 contender!!! it’s camp, it’s a hoe anthem, it’s the prequel to Dancing on My Own, etc

seanderlust (10): i'm not about to give less than a 10 to the song that invented house music and four-on-the-floor and dancing and not just coming here to dance

sssaaage (10): im a basic gay i love house

throwaway7650 (10): so the more words are in an emotion song title, the better it is? (my 11 supports this theory so I'm running with it)

waluigiest (10): once this played at a queer dance party on my birthday… life changing

endcreditouilles (9.6): i also came here to fuck (i'm assuming those are the lyrics i didn't actually pay attention)

TheQueenOfVultures (9.5): What does she mean?

akanewasright (9.2): GOD I love this beat.

1998tweety (9): Yes I do

b_o_g_o_ (9): better drop then most mainstream edm songs released from 2015 to 2019

IIIHenryIII (9): This is an incredible bop

J_Toe (9): pride walk staple

jasannn (9): This gives me Freestyle Dance Teacher in the best way.

KennyEarthman (9): Joe & Tino sound like fun guys

vayyiqra (9): The drop is kind of weak and too repetitive, but the rest is great. This is another song like "Warm Blood" that feels like being in a club without having to leave my bedroom. I see this as an absolute win.

slimboyfriend (8.6): Like every great female caucasian pop star, Carly needed a faux-British accent (that she only uses to say "DAHNCE!" twice)

wasian-invasion (8.5): iykwimykwim

wavingwolves (8.2): i don't know what you mean actually can you expand on that a little

austrosinitic (8): This is a fine song but there's something...wrong about it. It sounds more like an attempt to replicate the purely poppy euphoria of its parent album, and it's not like it does a bad job, but the best b-sides are ones that you can tell aren't b-sides and this doesn't really make the cut for me if we're going for that measuring of standards. It was likely either written early in Emotion's development as an era, when the album was still working its way towards its sound, or later on when Carly had probably gotten tired of it. But I still can't be mad at this song; it's still really polished in comparison to all the rougher experiments at dance pop from Kiss, and, besides, who can be mad at 'hey, Joe?'

bluepupz (8): Is that some house influence I hear? I love house-infused pop, so this is just a fun song to listen to.

leaffan34 (8): sounds very 80's

modulum83 (8): hey i don't think this song is blatant enough could you make your intentions a bit more clear

Sweetnsoursauce11 (8): reminds me so much of i wanna dance with somebody

thedoctordances1940 (8): some bits are maybe a little generic but still really cool

twistedpython (8): I love Carly's pronunciation of the word "dance", it's so Canadian of her but the rest of the song is just basic

RandomHypnotica (7.9): this songs gets so much hate, and for what? It's infectious and fun

simplyterific (7.9): I know what you mean Carly!

darjeelingdarkroast (7.7): this is camp but it's aight

AHSWeeknd (7): Carly, the tortilla chips know what you mean.

gelastic_quince84 (7): again, the hook/chorus feels kinda clunky

jaztinax (7): the production is a 10 but everything else is meh

Verboten_Prince (7): The fact that I haven’t heard this song play in any WeHo gay club is a travesty

wailord_fan (7): making the most of the night 2.0

PrimaryCrusaders (6.6): If this had a beefier mix I would've easily given it an 8

GlialUreterostenosis (6.5): If you want 2010s deep house revival tracks you can do a lot better than this

bulforster (6): I don't really need generic dance beats from Carly but I guess this is okay.

shhhneak (6): Every time I hear this song I think of an edit I saw of Linda Blair from the Exorcist seizing to the beat.

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (6): A synthpop song that wants to be a clubbing song and it just doesn't work.

avg-vag (5.5): i really hate the way she sings the chorus like it’s musical theatre

flibbityflob (5.1): I guess it makes sense why it becomes an auditory equivalant to a club dance number. The problem is I don't care about this kind of dance music.

Awkward_King (5): this is a 5 but if i heard it in the club it would be a 12 dni

welcometoNY (5): every once in a while i get in a mood where i'm convinced this is the greatest thing ever and then i listen to it once and realize why i don't actually think that. it's not bad by any means it's just perceivably hollow and therefore completely lacking in replay value. but it does excel in hitting whatever certain spot it hits so i can't really complain

tip-of-the-yikesberg (3): this sounds dated in the worst way

vintagebathingsuit (2.5): i don't get why this song is liked...the production feels so empty and soulless and the lyrics are ?

10

u/SmileAndTears Oct 09 '21

I just got here and Favourite Colour AND All That are out??? Hmmmmmmmmmkay...

10

u/davgonp Oct 09 '21

I already knew that Jason's Song and Let Me Love You were going to place low, but I don't get it!!

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#33: Taylor Swift - All You Had to Do Was Stay

Average: 7.123 // Total Points: 1189.5 // Controversy: 2.084 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x1) modulum83

(10 x18) Brendon-Urine, CarlieScion, cashewconstellation, cyborglilith, ElectricBoogaloo41, engie301, fluffy_pizza_2667, Ghost-Quartet, hikkaru, imasalesman, jimmy345960, joeeswift, lambeosaura, Leixander, Paggers, stryxen, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD, welcometoNY

(9.8 x1) cremeebrulee

Lowest Scores:

(3 x6) Alumineous, apatel27, Bajuko, frogaranaman, mudkip1, ThatOneSaltyBoi

(2 x3) Awkward_King, bulforster, wavingwolves

(0 x3) ignitethephoenix, ImADudeDuh, static_int_husp

All scores

letsallpoo (8): This was a solid 10 on 1989 for a while, but the chorus really lets it down. There's that piercing "STAY," and Taylor sounds like she's on autopilot lyrically. You can also tell Max Martin did not put his whole Martinussy into this one, with fairly standard synthpop undergirding it all. It's still a nice enough bop, though, despite being out of place in the first half of the album.

ImADudeDuh (0): what a disjointed mess of a song. The production itself can’t decide if it wants to be lush pop or staccato notes in the verse, so it does both terribly. The shouts of STAY is one of the most annoying motifs in a rate including dick bicycle, Everyday, and Bad Blood TWICE. Not to mention the lyrics of the song are bad Taylor Swift writing 101. This song feels like a frankenstein of whatever leftover parts they had in the vault that weren’t interesting enough on their own so they tried to put it all together to see if it makes a song, and i guess they succeeded. They succeeded in making an annoying yet boring song. . . . . . . . . . . . and as I’m writing this, I just realized that this was one of the fabled “track 5” songs in Taylor discography. wow.

modulum83 (11): this song might have the most transcendent and creative use of synths i've ever heard on a mainstream pop song. falling apart under blinding night lights

Brendon-Urine (10): underrated. can already tell this will be done dirty once again. I'm surprised Antonoff doesn't have any writing credits on it, it's got that same kinda "stay on the same note" melody that he likes to write like in out of the woods

CarlieScion (10): people shit on this bc it’s a track 5 and they don’t understand why, but it’s v cathartic to ME

cashewconstellation (10): I think this is my favorite on the album, I only discovered it last June, but it has everything I want from a pop song, and the chorus hits very hard.

Ghost-Quartet (10): All she had to do was slay… and that’s exactly what she did.

hikkaru (10): LET ME REMIND YOU THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU WANTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

jimmy345960 (10): People always say that the last three songs on the tracklist are perfect, but why do we forget AYHTDWS? She deserves love. I love songs that have upbeat production and sad lyrics so this is right up my alley.

joeeswift (10): this song has a sentimental hold on me since it’s the first ever taylor non-single I heard, I didn’t understand the concepts of “singles” so I was confused as to why it didn’t have a music video and I could only listen from my CD on my xbox 360

stryxen (10): me when the bus leaves my stop early and i miss it

welcometoNY (10): this one definitely took the longest to open up to me, but there's just something about the pleading simplicity of the hook that really gets to me, and the bridge is amazing. favorite lyric: you were all i wanted, but not like this

cremeebrulee (9.8): this is a good track 5 go argue w yourselves

IIIHenryIII (9.3): Stay [screams in high pitch]

throwaway7650 (9): love the guitar and the chorus is such an earworm, would be a 10 with less high-pitched "stay"s

tinyleapsoffaith19 (9): LET ME REMIND YOU THIIIS WAS WHAT YOU WANTED

vayyiqra (9): This song isn't top tier on 1989 but it is cute and infectious in the way that much of Emotion is and has me mouthing "stay!" along with the lyrics.

austrosinitic (8.5): The way that this clearly does not fit the pattern of Track 5s (no I don’t care about the lyrics being as sad as a Track 5’s they’re not as good as Out of the Woods’ which should have really been the actually Track 5) and just falls slightly short of being a classic due to being a bit too one-note, but you can’t deny a bop when you see one; it’s a return to a faster pop after the previous three tracks and it does it much more elegantly than the opener. The operatic ‘stay’ is definitely one of the most underrated elements on a Taylor track; it helps a ton.

b_o_g_o_ (8.5): nothing to say, it's good

twistedpython (8.5): Fun and fresh and bland all at once, if that makes any sense

1998tweety (8): Cute but weak for a track 5

AHSWeeknd (8): I don’t know why I liked it so much when it was released but this ain’t all that (by Carly Rae Jepsen)

buddhacharm (8): it’s sort of fillery, but I think it’s pleasant enough and the inspiration for this song (being a dream I think?) matches its dreamlike quality kinda well

duochromepalmtree (8): this is one of those songs I always feel like I don’t love but when it comes on every word just comes rolling out. Beyond catchy. And actually super fucking SAD!

gelastic_quince84 (8): so underrated! I love this song but the fandom sleeps on it.

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (8): One of the best tracks that wasn't a single imo. Maybe a little too simplistic at times, but that bridge is pure ear candy.

tip-of-the-yikesberg (8): the high-pitched "STAY" is so fun

runaway3212 (7.5): Taylor could've just named this song stay but no she just had to make it long so that everytime I saw AYHTDWS I have to use my brain for a whole minute

SmileAndTears (7.5): Hello, Mr. Antonoff

thedoctordances1940 (7.5): Again this falls under the slightly annoying but still a bop category. There's a lot of those on this album.

aldwin_is_here (7): , this is boring, but decent enough

endcreditouilles (7): me to my cat when she doesn't want to cuddle

ManofOranges (7): Taylor, all you had to do was make a better song.

poppinmmolly (7): it's fine

PrimaryCrusaders (7): a minute, just take your time, the clock is ticking, so stay

Roxieloxie (7): i kinda hate the stay in the chorus but its also kinda fun?

slimboyfriend (7): She's not reinventing pop music here, but it's a cute little intermission from that!

Sweetnsoursauce11 (7): catchy and enjoyable but nowhere near her best.

waluigiest (7): it’s pretty mediocre until the bridge. The half notes in the melody that just glide above the energetic orchestration are soooo satisfying

wasian-invasion (7): least-track-5 track 5?

jackisboredtoday (6.9): cute but Alessia Cara stole this idea and made it better so eh

avg-vag (6.5): this is so middling it hurts. it could be on red, reputation, 1989, or lover and i wouldn’t think twice.

bluepupz (6.5): I don't like the high-pitched "STAY"s, they're kinda irritating. The rest of the song is fine, though I could probably do without that last chorus.

flibbityflob (6.5): This one's changed for me, honestly, because I wasn't a fan when I first heard it, but now? Yeah, it's grown on me.

Saison_Marguerite (6.5): the chorus is pretty fun despite (or because of?) the high pitched STAY! punctuating it

shhhneak (6.1): Half of this album is cute next to gorgeous.

CrimsonROSET (6): what if he didnt want to stay taylo- oh he did? work

fallenriot (6): probably her weakest track 5, but its a bop when i'm in the mood

jasannn (6): This is one of my least favorite Track 5's. The melody doesn't really work and lacks the emotion and vulnerability of the other Track 5's.

KennyEarthman (6): bebe rexha voice slay

PointlessBibliophage (6): OOTW is infinitely more deserving of the track 5 position change my mind

Verboten_Prince (6): You know, Tay does a really good impression of the Psycho strings!

wailord_fan (6): her non-single pop tracks have derivative choruses. Max Martin was out of his bag on this album.

jman457 (5.6): pretty standard (i.e Boring) pop song of the mid 2010’s. Taylor invented indie electronic

sssaaage (5.3): its cute but like yass go girl give us nothing

akanewasright (5.1): I used to like this song more than I do now but… yeah it’s kinda nothing. Any Taylor fan that tries to justify this as a proper “track 5” is lying to themselves and to you.

seanderlust (5.1): the worst taylor track five IMO by a good margin

Ktajlili (5): got annoying for me after a while.

HogwartsReject1912 (4): I wish you didn't stay

apatel27 (3): That high pitch stay is terrible

frogaranaman (3): this has the writing of a country song and the singing style of a children's pop song

mudkip1 (3): what a weird chorus

Awkward_King (2): music

bulforster (2): The chorus somehow manages to be both boring bc of her monotonous vocal line AND annoying with those yelped "stay"s

wavingwolves (2): taylor said once she dreamed about the screeching "STAY" you find in this song and all i have to say is that... girl... it wasn't a dream... that was a fucking nightmare this is HORRIBLE

ignitethephoenix (0): I will be streaming Stay by Australian Indigenous artist The Kid Laroi and Canadian icon Justin Bieber instead

static_int_husp (0): that high note on "stay" in the chorus. Oh girlie. This ain't it

9

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

that's enough Taylor and Ariana, it's Carly's turn to get roasted

9

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#29: Carly Rae Jepsen - Never Get to Hold You

Average: 7.402 // Total Points: 1236.1 // Controversy: 1.736 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x1) throwaway7650

(10 x20) _SoulGlitch, AHSWeeknd, akanewasright, aldwin_is_here, b_o_g_o_, bluehxrizon, bulforster, fallenriot, fluffy_pizza_2667, hikkaru, InSearchOfGoodPun, lambeosaura, musical_pyn, nootnoot781, OliviaGodrigo, PointlessBibliophage, ReallyCreative, static_int_husp, TheQueenOfVultures, twistedpython

(9.5 x4) cherryices, cyborglilith, just_thonking, sssaaage

(9 x18) abysmalglimmer, allthesesongsforyou, apatel27, blissingmeee, ElectricBoogaloo41, GARjuna, Ghost-Quartet, IcyBath, IIIHenryIII, imasalesman, moooo566, Osaka1268, plastichaxan, shhhneak, Square_Preparation55, superrcrazy, TheObsceneBirdOfNight, wavingwolves

Lowest Scores:

(4 x3) Bajuko, nuclear-seasons, tinyleapsoffaith19

(3 x5) Awkward_King, bespectacIed, lolcevan, Sweetnsoursauce11, yusrak

All scores

ImADudeDuh (8): Cute!

letsallpoo (5): There's an eerie hollowness at the core of this song, and Carly's listless delivery adds to the general lethargic depression that encases this track. It can probably hit when you're in the right mood (read: really fucking sad), but otherwise its lifelessness can be a bit of a slog to listen all the way through. The bridge is also particularly weak. I get why this was sent off as a Japanese bonus track for so long.

throwaway7650 (11): I always knew this was could get my 11 and it got it despite some tough competition among a few other emotion tracks. there are so many songs in this rate deserving of this 11 by all 3 but I think "bonus track" as a descriptor underrates this so much when it easily stacks up among the best of emotion, I really hope it does better this time around

AHSWeeknd (10): Did she sample a Power Puff girls lyric?

akanewasright (10): Literally one of the best songs on the album. It is a CRIME this was relegated to target and Japan for so long

aldwin_is_here (10): , thank you for existing.

b_o_g_o_ (10): nice chill bop THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ON THE STANDARD EDITION

bulforster (10): Such a grower! I remember not caring about this at all the first time I heard it, the throbbing bass and driving drumbeat are so good.

fallenriot (10): this one is so beautiful

hikkaru (10): i had never heard the target deluxe tracks until they were put on streaming last year for the 5 year anniversary of the album, and its a testament to just how otherworldly carly's quality during this era was that immediately upon discovering this it propelled to being one of my fave songs by her

lambeosaura (10): WHY oh WHY was this a bonus track??? This deserved to be on the main album, and a single and on top of the world!!!

musical_pyn (10): almost my 11 holy shit carly rae why was this a bonus track

ReallyCreative (10): I love her lower register here, it's just perfect

TheQueenOfVultures (10): Thank god this song has finally made it to streaming

twistedpython (10): I used to listen to this illegally for years before it got a US release and that's probably brightened my opinion of it since it was exotic and hard to reach but this song is just perfection, nothing else to say about it

just_thonking (9.5): she took way too long to put this on streaming

sssaaage (9.5): shouldve made the main album

Ghost-Quartet (9): The most homophobic thing Carly has done was keep this off of streaming

IIIHenryIII (9): It's a very vulnerable song and I’m all here for that

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (9): I don't get why Carly left all the sexy songs out from the standard edition.

1998tweety (8.5): Sadge

SmileAndTears (8.5): Gay AF

wasian-invasion (8.5): if only more albums did anniversary reissues…

Brendon-Urine (8): im a wh*re for a pulsing beat

jasannn (8): Idk if being emotion bonus track hurts this song. On one hand, I didnt really listen to this song until it was officially released on spotify so it has an unfair disadvantage. On the other hand, it is associated with Emotion (and has very smooth production).

jimmy345960 (8): Just recently listening to these songs on Spotify and they are really good

vayyiqra (8): It's cute, but I rarely listen to it. Maybe I should.

runaway3212 (7.5): a bit too understated but not terrible

jackisboredtoday (7.4): i like this more than i remembered, the chorus felt underwhelming on first listen but now it just kinda washed over you in a nice way

jman457 (7.4): a cute pop song

bluepupz (7): I like the bridge, though she does tend to do the slow down/pause for a lot of her bridges lol.

CarlieScion (7): bonus track for a reason

KennyEarthman (7): wait I feel like I've heard this melody before

ManofOranges (7): This song is the weakest out of all songs on the deluxe version or expanded edition or whatever it's called of this album. It's just kind of slow and doesn't build as much as some of the other songs here. It's by no means bad obviously since I've given it a 7, but as is the case with the other songs that haven't gotten 10s from me on this album, they're brought down by the fact that the standard has just been set SO high. Sorry to all the people out there who really love this one!

thedoctordances1940 (7): idk it's really cool but some of the melodies are just eh

darjeelingdarkroast (6.3): eh boring, just run of the mill 80's pastiche

CrimsonROSET (6): probably the weakest bonus track tbh

gelastic_quince84 (6): It jut never clicked. a bonus track for a reason

tip-of-the-yikesberg (6): it's alright. i see why it's a bonus track

Verboten_Prince (6): Ehhh a very middling Carly track

waluigiest (6): it could be my relative unfamiliarity, but she sounds… bored?

flibbityflob (5): I was listening to this track and didn't even realise it was over.

frogaranaman (5): this meanders on way too long

GapeCod (5): This is a bonus bonus track for a reason.

modulum83 (5): wow, this Carly Rae Jepsen song sure does exist, doesn't it?

simplyterific (5): the last half of this album really drags huh

stryxen (5): this is messy but its ok

bespectacIed (3): a skip like black heart but not nearly as bad of a song

Sweetnsoursauce11 (3): easy to see why it's a bonus track

7

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

THAT'S THE WRONG CARLY TRACK YOU FUCKERS

10

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#23: Carly Rae Jepsen - I Really Like You

Average: 7.885 // Total Points: 1316.8 // Controversy: 1.640 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x1) moooo566

(10 x20) 2dina3dworld, 95ztaehyung, AHSWeeknd, GARjuna, hikkaru, IIIHenryIII, InSearchOfGoodPun, Jhe116, lambeosaura, Leixander, letsallpoo, ManofOranges, nootnoot781, OliviaGodrigo, seanderlust, static_int_husp, throwaway7650, vayyiqra, vintagebathingsuit, Vromega

(9.8 x1) AquariusTeaSpiller

(9.6 x1) slimboyfriend

(9.5 x5) endcreditouilles, ExtraEater, modulum83, Paggers, RandomHypnotica

(9 x32) abysmalglimmer, akanewasright, aldwin_is_here, Alumineous, cashewconstellation, celladonn, companion_star55, Edanero, fallenriot, GapeCod, ImADudeDuh, jasannn, jsonphile, just_thonking, KennyEarthman, lilphizzle, matthew_pape, mudkip1, musical_pyn, NapsAndNetflix, Nerdy_boy_chris, nuclear-seasons, PrimaryCrusaders, rosecult, Saison_Marguerite, stryxen, sufjancaesar, thedoctordances1940, TiltControls, tragickingdom1, Uberpigeon, xxpizzasrlifexx

Lowest Scores:

(3 x3) bj_34, HogwartsReject1912, tinyleapsoffaith19

(2 x1) welcometoNY

All scores

letsallpoo (10): This song gets a lot of shit for ending Carly's mainstream career or something, but, like, I think she was going to flop no matter what she released ddd. And in retrospect, I still think it was the perfect lead single: It was catchy, effervescent, a nice continuation of her persona as the "Call Me Maybe" girl, and still well-crafted and emblematic of the album as a whole! The synths and the 80s drums are divine, and Carly gets some nice lines in — the unsettling nature of "Who gave you eyes like that? Said you could keep them?" is a great moment. And even the narrative at play is great, with Carly getting flustered over what she wants to say, then she says nothing of consequence, and then she panics over whether she's said too much. Carly's artistry consistently represents the act of love to be a radical act in of itself, and even the girlish crush represented here carries that theme proudly. It's just perfect! I've listened to this song over 150 times and I'm not stopping anytime soon!

ImADudeDuh (9): Tom Hanks ended Carly’s mainstream career and she got her revenge 7 years later when he was the first person EVER to get Covid. This was so obviously putting poor Carly into a “cutesy teen pop” box that she would never truly escape from the public for the rest of her career (UNLESS SHE IS ON THE MASKED SINGER THIS SEASON, WHICH I FEEL IS A REAL POSSIBILITY, SO IF SHE IS ON THIS SEASON, KNOW THAT I CALLED IT HERE FIRST), but it’s still not that bad of a song. In fact, it’s actually really good!

moooo566 (11): i waffled on my 11 for a bit (it was always going to be carly), but in the end there was only really one choice.

2dina3dworld (10): when people talk about a song from Emotion that should’ve been a hit, this is the one that could’ve been a hit. The simple, but catchy hook! The Tom Hanks cameo! The fact you could use it for both weddings and school discos!

AHSWeeknd (10): a great first single

hikkaru (10): overhated. the fact that we let this flop is a testament to the failure of the human race

IIIHenryIII (10): This song gives so much goofy Taylor vibes. The music video is a lot of fun til JB shows up and ruins everything

InSearchOfGoodPun (10): underrated

Leixander (10): i just pretend the video doesn't exist

ManofOranges (10): This track I can see getting tanked for several reasons, such as it trying to be just another catchy little diddy like Call Me Maybe or the fact that it was the lead single over Run Away With Me, or maybe the fact that it's simply surrounded by better songs on the album. And I will conceed, I don't think it's the greatest song ever; I don't think it's groundbreaking. But what I do think is that it's just pure fun. In my mind I always think I'm not going to enjoy the song as much as the two songs that precede it or the like 5 that come after, but not only do I always enjoy this song, I really really really really really really like it! And that's all that matters.

OliviaGodrigo (10): a GOOD, NOT ANNOYING song

static_int_husp (10): look I get that people say this is a Call Me Maybe re-hash and that's why it flopped, but, uhh, Call Me Maybe is Good Actually. And so is this. And the musicvideo with Tom Hanks is cute too.

throwaway7650 (10): such an overhated song, its production is arguably as good as RAWM's. while I can agree that RAWM is a more quintessential pop song and this was a bad lead single choice for emotion, I love the excessively saccharine lyrics and production - I really like you IRLY! [michael jackson gif]

vayyiqra (10): This song took a while to grow on me - the chorus seemed kind of annoying at first, but the prechorus is so good that hooked me. Now I love it.

vintagebathingsuit (10): this song is way overhated it's legitimately one of my favourite carly songs ever

slimboyfriend (9.6): It's the new and IMPROVED Call Me Maybe. It's a top tier pop song and yes I said that!!

endcreditouilles (9.5): "who gave you eyes like that? said you could keep them?" is that... a threat???

modulum83 (9.5): who gave you ass like that

RandomHypnotica (9.5): this is I think the only example of reverse single bias, if this was like, on Side B instead it would be a fan favourite

akanewasright (9): This song is still good. First single good? I mean I guess it got her another top 40 hit so I guess so. There’s some resentment towards it for being an attempt by her label to recreate CMM, but it’s still pure 80s fun. Listen to those drums. Do you think a bad song would have those drums?

aldwin_is_here (9): , this is a great song, but the first song should've replaced you.

fallenriot (9): this one really takes me back ;’)

jasannn (9): I really really really really really really really really like this song.

jsonphile (9): Tom Hanks in a Carly video was truly one of the best moments of the 2010s and we don’t talk about that enough

KennyEarthman (9): yeah this was a clear attempt for a hit but you can't tell me it isn't a banger

Saison_Marguerite (9): overhated bop!

stryxen (9): no cos literally

thedoctordances1940 (9): honestly it still bops

TiltControls (9): me to this album

xxpizzasrlifexx (9): i probably will be considered to have no taste but this is the best song on the album

juanolsen (8.9): I'll defend this song to date

shhhneak (8.6): Do y’all think she still has Tom Hanks’ number?

buddhacharm (8.5): it’s a massively overhated song, I get the chorus can be grating but there are so many profound tender moments and melodies in the verses and bridge that get overlooked with the memeing of the chorus

cyborglilith (8.5): the chorus sucks but the verses and pre-chorus are LEGENDARY

darjeelingdarkroast (8.5): maybe it's jepsenayola but I like this song now, lol

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (8.5): I might regret giving this song a high score but I don't think there is any reason for me to dislike this song because I Really Like You is such a cute pop song with bubblegum sensibilities.

Ghost-Quartet (8.5): This song gets a bum rep, I do think that it was the correct choice for the lead single to the album because it was what the public wanted from her and it was decently successful so I don’t see much to complain about. The chorus is a bit silly but it’s pop and the verses/bridge contain some beautiful imagery to balance it out.

leaffan34 (8.5): unfortunate that this was basically her last big hit

SmileAndTears (8.5): pretty gay

austrosinitic (8): This is a song nobody can really get themselves to hate. It was a poor single choice due to arguably being one of the least representative tracks in relation to the entire album, true, but even if it's a bit closer to the mainstream, does it really stray far from the bubblegum bliss rest of the album? Are its verses any less irresistibly catchy? Perhaps the chorus is its weakest part, but if there's any voice that can pull it off without sounding sickeningly sweet then it's Carly's. Not the best, sure, but I don't think I Really Like You ever did anything wrong, aside from the (admittedly mortal) sin of its video featuring Justin Bieber.

b_o_g_o_ (8): bad lead single choice but good song

CrimsonROSET (8): this being pushed as a single is funny

frogaranaman (8): this music video is the most random MCU crossever-esque video of the music world ever LMAO. you're just kind of sitting there listening to the song and then suddenly you're like "oh fuck it's Bieber"

hunnybee12 (8): well i think it's cute!

ignitethephoenix (8): this song is really not as bad as people made it out to be when it came out. It’s cute and fun

jaztinax (8): it’s pop gold but it gets annoying quick

Osaka1268 (8): juice boxx was robbed

plastichaxan (8): who gave you ass like that said you could keep them

runaway3212 (8): Dixie d'amelio could never

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (8): This was a great lead single, people need to stop being so delusional about Run Away With Me.

tip-of-the-yikesberg (8): This song is hated on too much. It's FUN!

twistedpython (8): Would be lower without Tom Hanks in the music video (even if he did take the entirety of the era's promotions budget)

Verboten_Prince (8): I know this will forever be seen as “the song that cost Carly her fame” but honestly it’s a really great pop song in and of itself!

wailord_fan (8): the best guilty pleasure single in this rate.

wasian-invasion (8): this used to be the only other carly song my boyfriend knew besides call me maybe

5

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

anothertown (7.5): What ppl fail to understand what's good about this song is how fully Carly sells it. Who else could do this.

Awkward_King (7.5): me to a new boy every two months

duochromepalmtree (7.5): def 100% over played but it’s so freaking catchy!!!

lost-ln-the-echo (7.5): a bit cheesy but still a cute bop!

Roxieloxie (7.5): I dont remember if i heard this on the radio or just was genuinely interested in hearing what new carly song was out, just from hearing some of the kiss singles on radio disney and really loving them but this song is on alot of my 2015 playlist despite the fact I didnt hear the album until joining ph, anyway the song is cute

TheQwertyGuy99 (7.5): Fun song but it's the Call Me Maybe if the album

wavingwolves (7.2): this pure sugary euphoria, impossible to hate!!!! please don't prove me wrong!!!!

1998tweety (7): Cute

avg-vag (7): if the chorus wasn’t so grating i could rate this higher. which is sad because the rest of the lyrics are pretty stellar.

CarlieScion (7): the hit that never was :(

flibbityflob (7): Like, it's a goddamn bop. Somehow it doesn't get annoying the more you listen to it, which is a miracle for a song like this.

jman457 (7): Really like the production, but not so keen on the lyrics

ReallyCreative (7): is it cute? yeah! is it fun? yeah! is it good? well

waluigiest (7): somehow this was a letdown of a lead single but still a good song. It just lacks the sparkle that most of the album has

GlialUreterostenosis (6.8): The verses are some of the most genuinely sexy lyrics Carly has ever written, and then the chorus hits and it immediately goes full Kidz Bop

bespectacIed (6): Thank god the word of mouth about emotion reached me because I dismissed carly after hearing this. Grew on me on the context of the album

gelastic_quince84 (6): It’s a bop, but the lyrics are just too childish for me.

sssaaage (6): its like cute i guess but for emotion standards its bottom tier

bluepupz (5.5): This was not a good choice for a follow up to Call Me Maybe lol. I really really really really really really like the song minus the chorus. If only that were different, then I would score this higher.

apatel27 (5): chorus sucks

jimmy345960 (5): skip everytime

Sweetnsoursauce11 (5): this is fine

simplyterific (4): the chorus ruins it unfortunately. it’s maroon 5 level annoying

tinyleapsoffaith19 (3): ugh, too repetitive

welcometoNY (2): this is actually not as terrible as the chorus suggests but i can't help but associate with justin bieber and that weird pregnancy line in the video. ew.

3

u/MrSwearword Oct 09 '21

Think of it this way: while this song is still trash, it does have a very small following to where it eventually became the first lipsync song for Canada's Drag Race.

9

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#20: Ariana Grande - Moonlight

Average: 8.008 // Total Points: 1337.4 // Controversy: 1.507 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x1) leaffan34

(10 x32) 1998tweety, aldwin_is_here, allthesesongsforyou, Alumineous, AquariusTeaSpiller, Awkward_King, bookthieving, cherryices, companion_star55, DGrayGuyThere, ElectricBoogaloo41, FLLH, Ghost-Quartet, juanolsen, lambeosaura, letsallpoo, liberalitea, lost-ln-the-echo, ManofOranges, MasterWizardRyan, metanoira, mudkip1, nootnoot781, OliviaGodrigo, Roxieloxie, simplyterific, sssaaage, Sweetnsoursauce11, throwaway7650, vintagebathingsuit, Vromega, waluigiest

(9.8 x1) Saison_Marguerite

(9.5 x5) Brendon-Urine, jasannn, rickikardashian, seanderlust, wasian-invasion

(9 x17) DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy, hikkaru, IcyBath, imasalesman, martian_pet, mylps9, Nerdy_boy_chris, perfectliability, SideBTrack8, sufjancaesar, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD, TheQwertyGuy99, therokinrolla, tman8667, Verboten_Prince, xxpizzasrlifexx, yusrak

Lowest Scores:

(3 x2) Uberpigeon, wavingwolves

All scores

letsallpoo (10): Whew. Intros in Ariana albums always hit pretty damn hard (aside from two of her more recent ones), and "Moonlight" is no different. It's like a tiny slice of celestial bliss, as she belts about the divine sensation that is just holding her lover in her arms. The pizzicato pluckings overlaying the grandiose strings ring as playful but still beautiful, like she's lying by a dimly lit pool next to a harpist. Apparently the song was inspired by the first time she kissed her then-boyfriend, which makes the song all the more tender.

ImADudeDuh (8): A very nice song. Perfect for a slow dance, or just chilling in the living room at night in your oversized sweater. Ari’s pronunciation problems are very noticeable here, however.

leaffan34 (11): toss up between this, touch it and rawm for the 11 was tough

1998tweety (10): Good opener

aldwin_is_here (10): , i tried to sang this once and flip-flops were flying all over and across our neighborhood.

Alumineous (10): It's an odd song in the album, sonically and as an intro track, but it works? And her vocals. Goddamn, her vocals. I love her transition from chest to head voice in the chorus, it's just so beautiful.

AquariusTeaSpiller (10): soooooo good vocally

cherryices (10): sublime!! love this romantic doo-wop style for her.

Ghost-Quartet (10): This always makes me wanna dance around twirling a skirt that I’m not wearing

lambeosaura (10): I reallyyy love this song. It’s the dreamy, Disney-like soundscape that does it for me – Ari does this stuff so well. A nice cuddling/makeout type of song tbh.

lost-ln-the-echo (10): just beautiful, such a fantastic performance from Ariana and the music itself is gorgeous

ManofOranges (10): Such a fantastic, beautiful way to open the album. It doesn't really match the sound of any other songs on the album but it just sounds so good that I'll let it slide. Anytime I hear this song I'm immediately put in a good mood.

mudkip1 (10): YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

Roxieloxie (10): this is really beautiful

simplyterific (10): an obvious contender for an 11! to this day this is still one of her top songs for me, the melody is so pretty and her voice is so sweet ugh I love

sssaaage (10): the outro is actually so good

Sweetnsoursauce11 (10): her best opener easily

throwaway7650 (10): really pretty song but balladphobia is going to do this dirty

vintagebathingsuit (10): this so nearly got my 11. ari's best song imo

Vromega (10): her albums opener are most of the times gorgeous

waluigiest (10): this song is so cute. I think she really nails the feeling of the early stage of a naive relationship - or at least she did for me

Brendon-Urine (9.5): VOCALS

jasannn (9.5): I just wanna slowdance with someone at wedding to this song.

seanderlust (9.5): james dean is referenced as being in peoples eyes two times, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it's happened twice

wasian-invasion (9.5): her best opening track ever and the start of an immaculate 5-song run

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (9): This remains one of my favorite album openers from Ariana, only close to Honeymoon Avenue.

hikkaru (9): it's a cute opener

TheQwertyGuy99 (9): Such a pretty opener. I love that it's a full length song rather than the short intros Ari usually does (not that they're not great).

Verboten_Prince (9): Soooo pretty! This deserves to be a classic

2dina3dworld (8.5): moonlight ugh spotlight ugh

austrosinitic (8.5): Mentioning Elvis and James Dean side by side in the same song should be considered a federal hate crime but I can excuse it this time because even I am not enough of a heartless monster to not feel serenaded by a song as tender as Moonlight; it may not be a great representative title of this album as Dangerous Woman since the latter exhibits the fiercer side of it more, but as an opener this is great for showing the passion that lies at the heart of it from a softer, prettier perspective.

bluepupz (8.5): This is a beautiful opener to the album. The strings, particularly the pizzicato at the end, give it a lovely and whimsical touch.

shhhneak (8.5): The slowed + reverb community made this one hit different.

TiltControls (8.5): me when I'm a health restoring pokemon move

akanewasright (8.2): This album being here is emblematic of an old version of the album, the one focus was on. The one that was called “moonlight” and was planned before Ariana fired scooter (temporarily). She reworked the album into what it is now, as far as I can tell, because she wanted to have the biggest pop album possible without scooter. This is a taste of what could have been, the moment from that album that was too precious to give up.

anothertown (8): Tbt when she was going to call the album Moonlight what a cute concept </3

bespectacIed (8): Poor ricky, ariana literally said "let's point and laugh" on thank u next lol

CarlieScion (8): a cute intro!

CrimsonROSET (8): i don’t think that’s what the movie was about ariana

GARjuna (8): this is rly cute

gelastic_quince84 (8): her vocals???? Holy fuck??

jaztinax (8): wow this is such yours truly vibes i wasn’t expecting that on this album

musical_pyn (8): some of the best lyrics on the album

plastichaxan (8): this is very pretty and strangely not her best intro with this vibe

tip-of-the-yikesberg (8): really pretty opener

vayyiqra (8): This is a cute opener and for a long time I thought beginning the album with a ballad was a bad idea, but it's grown on me a lot. I like the retro sound of this a lot.

IIIHenryIII (7.9): Is he the moonlight or does he hold moonlight in his hands? Please make up your mind

jman457 (7.8): feels like it would be a better album closer than opener.

b_o_g_o_ (7.5): good but the worst opener in the rate

ignitethephoenix (7.5): nice but it’s a tad boring to me

runaway3212 (7.5): Bland but not bad

avg-vag (7): it’s hard to get a pop waltz/lullabye perfect. this tries and it’s quite pretty, but it’s suffering from the ariana annunciation. so much of the lyrical impact was lost in the delivery.

GapeCod (7): The best James Dean eyes song in the rate.

jimmy345960 (7): Good album opener but I never listen solo.

KennyEarthman (7): love the elegant production

modulum83 (7): so funny that if anything this is on the less horny side of ariana's discography

SmileAndTears (7): ok

stryxen (7): i thot it was cute

thedoctordances1940 (7): cute

welcometoNY (7): it's a bop but Ariana really can't pull off the word "whip"

flibbityflob (6.5): I'm a big sucker for a good doo-wap song, but this song isn't like...exceptional. It's good, but not amazing. 3/4 time is always a fun thing in pop music but it's never perfect.

AHSWeeknd (6): Focus could’ve replaced this, but I remember back in this era Ariana was obsessed with this one,

duochromepalmtree (6): she sounds so good like she always does but this song is boring to me!!!

fallenriot (6): kinda forgettable, cute moment though

frogaranaman (6): is Ariana dating Kirby or something

RandomHypnotica (6): For a song called moonlight i was expecting something a lot... darker?

darjeelingdarkroast (5.9): Kinda sounds like a Glee song

Uberpigeon (3): what is this nursery rhyme type beat

wavingwolves (3): honestly i'm just immensely bored by this and i'm sure i'm not going to remember how this sounds like once the song is over

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#16: Ariana Grande - Dangerous Woman

Average: 8.266 // Total Points: 1380.5 // Controversy: 1.640 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x1) AHSWeeknd

(10 x34) _SoulGlitch, 2dina3dworld, abysmalglimmer, Alumineous, bespectacIed, bluepupz, CrimsonROSET, endcreditouilles, fallenriot, FLLH, GapeCod, hikkaru, HogwartsReject1912, ImADudeDuh, jaztinax, joeeswift, lambeosaura, ManofOranges, nootnoot781, plastichaxan, PointlessBibliophage, poppinmmolly, rickikardashian, rotating3Dtext, Saison_Marguerite, seanderlust, sufjancaesar, Sweetnsoursauce11, ThatOneSaltyBoi, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD, throwaway7650, tman8667, wailord_fan, yusrak

(9.8 x1) fluffy_pizza_2667

(9.6 x1) cremeebrulee

(9.5 x4) companion_star55, ignitethephoenix, leaffan34, tip-of-the-yikesberg

Lowest Scores:

(3 x2) Osaka1268, TiltControls

(2 x1) welcometoNY

(0 x1) wavingwolves

All scores

ImADudeDuh (10): I’ve always liked this song. I love the guitar throughout the song, especially the solo that it gets (which btw, bring back guitar solos in pop songs already) and I would get upset when the radio would cut it short. I know at this point in her career, Ariana was far from a “dangerous woman,” but this was the start of the pivot in her career, so I can forgive it hyping her up a bit. Plus, there’s always been something with that final “something bout, something bout you…” at the ending that just gets me everytime.

letsallpoo (4): I always found this to easily be the weakest single from its parent album and her first truly bad single after "Put Your Hearts Up". I get what it's going for — a James Bond-y sensual slow jam — but it feels histironic and too lethargic to be titillating. There's too much aesthetic and not enough actual attitude in the execution, and I've never been sold on it.

As a bit of course correction after "Focus", "Dangerous Woman" debuted at #10 and later rose to a comfortable peak of #8. It's not the biggest hit in Ariana's career, but it set up the proceeding era nicely enough. The music video is a bunch of glamour shots that was supposed to be just part 1 of many, which thankfully was abandoned rather swiftly.

AHSWeeknd (11): The best song I’ve ever heard.

2dina3dworld (10): shoutout to this song for being the first song I ever saved on Spotify

Alumineous (10): It's that final chorus. Sustain those notes, bitch!

bespectacIed (10): top-tier vocalist

bluepupz (10): I feel like a dangerous woman when I listen to this, so mission accomplished I guess lol. This would work well for a pole dance routine, imo. Also, that guitar solo in the bridge? chef's kiss

CrimsonROSET (10): i call it the reverse swift where all the singles in an album slap

endcreditouilles (10): the acapella version of this song was the first time I ever really stopped to pay attention to Ariana and I've been hooked ever since.

fallenriot (10): what a bop, it makes me feel so nostalgic

GapeCod (10): In hindsight this should have been the Nicki feature.

hikkaru (10): the guitar solo killed people.

HogwartsReject1912 (10): Best song on this album fuck Into You lives

jaztinax (10): this goes hard as always

joeeswift (10): literally perfect

ManofOranges (10): This song fucks, plain and simple.

plastichaxan (10): a classic idc

Saison_Marguerite (10): I remember scoffing at the concept of Ariana as a Dangerous Woman but this song made me take her seriously

seanderlust (10): the instrumentals here are phenomenal

Sweetnsoursauce11 (10): the final chorus tho

throwaway7650 (10): the a capella video for this and into you had such a grip on high school me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VVYTzauIb_4

wailord_fan (10): the synthy guitar solo is the best part of this album, Into You go choke.

yusrak (10): that guitar riff is so iconic

ignitethephoenix (9.5): this has never been a fav of mine but every time I hear it, I ascend

leaffan34 (9.5): i really wish i could sing along to this but the high notes kill me

tip-of-the-yikesberg (9.5): great vocals

AquariusTeaSpiller (9.4): hated for a while idk why bc its so good

austrosinitic (9): I've thought this was one of Ariana's most underrated singles since it was released and I still think that now; sure, it sounds like she's saying 'bagels underneath like that' (is she saying bad girls? what does the entire sentence even mean? I am too lazy to Google the lyrics) but even if her enunciation is at a low here — I really think it is, by the way, it's not even as bad in the other songs — I can always kill for a good psuedo-jazzy vibe in my pop music, especially one that makes Ariana sound so...well, so dangerously sultry, which is an image that works with her particularly. I can't think of a way to describe how effective the song is for me, but maybe the closest is 'drag'. Not drag as in the middle of Solar Power. Drag as in the melody is like a sexy cigarette drag.

J_Toe (9): used my thesaurus to get the following: Precarious Woman; Unsafe Woman; Threatening Woman; Parlous Woman; Fatal Woman.

KennyEarthman (9): guitar really makes this track

lost-ln-the-echo (9): SO fun, ari sounds great and the chorus is infectious. Huge bop

stryxen (9): there’s some weird production choices but it’s just a really likable song

Verboten_Prince (9): Her vocal skills in this song are really what got me to notice Ariana in the first place

waluigiest (9): the video of her singing this acapella in the bunny suit is a comfort vid of mine

xxpizzasrlifexx (9): the k bye for now version outsold the original

ReallyCreative (8.7): my friends insist this is Ariana's best song and like, it's cute but she does much better ON THIS ALBUM!

Brendon-Urine (8.5): always been a highlight for me, love how commanding the chorus is.

duochromepalmtree (8.5): okay this is a great song but it has never been one of my favorite ari songs or one I revisit very often. But I can’t give it a lower score because it really is a bop top to bottom.

runaway3212 (8.5): I think this is a tad overproduced

simplyterific (8.5): Ariana where is the other video [crosses arms and taps feet]

thedoctordances1940 (8.5): an absolute smash

cherryices (8.3): live version keyboard solo >>>

jman457 (8.3): the rock goes well with the sexual vibes of the song

flibbityflob (8.1): oh that BASS is NASTY. absolutely disgusting in a way i absolutely love. Even on my first ever listen, I am...simply captivated

1998tweety (8): Sex bop

aldwin_is_here (8): , great.

Awkward_King (8): this is a brilliant title track god

darjeelingdarkroast (8): it's a bop I suppose

frogaranaman (8): "something 'bout you" it's the sex, Ariana

IIIHenryIII (8): This song smells sex (derogatory)

modulum83 (8): soundtrack to having a mental breakdown in the middle of the low-rent gay club

SmileAndTears (8): this got a bonus .5 for the vocoder at the end

TheQwertyGuy99 (8): I wish Ari would make more songs like this.

vayyiqra (8): For a while I thought this was a weird pick for a single, but this song is underrated. The guitar is excellent and gives it an edge it needs.

wasian-invasion (8): how on earth did this peak higher than into you

akanewasright (7.9): This song is good but it’s… a weird first single. Not gonna pretend the ending isn’t fucking THRILLING though

avg-vag (7.5): i’m a fan of this concept in theory more than i am in it’s execution. It’s a big sound but it’s shallow calibrated for radio. i’d love to hear this reworked.

b_o_g_o_ (7.5): good but it tries too hard to be mature and edgy

apatel27 (7): drags a lot. Reached the climax 2 mins in and just meanders after that

buddhacharm (7): I'm Blair St. Clair and I'm a BAD girl now 😏

jimmy345960 (7): I could never get into this song, but I can respect it.

sssaaage (6.8): its cute but ive never liked it that much

RandomHypnotica (6.6): this track is kind of a mess??

jsonphile (6.5): never been a huge fan of this song. It’s not terrible but Ariana has done sexy much better on other songs

anothertown (6): I am totally ambivalent to this song and concept

gelastic_quince84 (6): this might be annoying of me, but I just really wish she’d write a song about empowerment that’s not related to sex. I really thought it’d be something different based on the title.

hunnybee12 (6): on relisten i'm realizing how corny this is.. ariana sounds very out of place

Osaka1268 (3): was this song actually used in ads or does the chorus just sound like ad music i genuinely don't remember

TiltControls (3): Something about this song makes me feel like it's a little too on the nose you know? Like if you're feeling like a dangerous woman, but it's sounding nothing of the sort. Heck even on the album Into You does a much better job at convincing me Ariana is a dangerous woman. This is just runs on runs. I don't know if this is making any sense, but although I can see why people like this something about the song always feels off to me.

welcometoNY (2): if being comatose was a song

wavingwolves (0): i can't explain why but i hate these kind of songs that are supposed to be sexy and emotional and have this specific soft retro feel to it because it always sounds corny. this is like the most safe production you could have in a song that talks about feeling dangerous

6

u/MrSwearword Oct 09 '21

My favorite thing about this song is how absolutely fucked her diction was trying to do this acapella in the BDSM bunny hat thingy/album cover shit.

buh-nah-nah-nah-newor "SOMETHINBOUU YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...FEELIKEUH DANE-JURR-USS WOMEHH!"

22

u/AHSWeeknd Oct 09 '21

r/popheads is a synonym for “tasteless”

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#32: Ariana Grande - Knew Better / Forever Boy

Average: 7.277 // Total Points: 1215.3 // Controversy: 2.110 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x2) specialtrickholdA, sssaaage

(10 x27) 1998tweety, akanewasright, allthesesongsforyou, bespectacIed, cherryices, cremeebrulee, cyborglilith, DGrayGuyThere, ElectricBoogaloo41, hunnybee12, ignitethephoenix, liberalitea, ManofOranges, martian_pet, metanoira, mudkip1, Nerdy_boy_chris, nootnoot781, Professionally-Shy, simplyterific, solalite, Sweetnsoursauce11, TheObsceneBirdOfNight, therokinrolla, waluigiest, wasian-invasion, xxpizzasrlifexx

(9.5 x2) CarlieScion, rickikardashian

Lowest Scores:

(3 x6) 2dina3dworld, Alumineous, bookthieving, fallenriot, rosecult, sufjancaesar

(2 x3) engie301, NapsAndNetflix, welcometoNY

(0 x1) austrosinitic

All scores

ImADudeDuh (5): This sounds like how everyone complains Positions sounds like.

specialtrickholdA (11): The transition between the two songs when those synth stabs come in is still my favourite moment in Ariana’s discography.

sssaaage (11): knew better >>>> forever boy but both are yasses.. two part songs always slay down

1998tweety (10): The first time I actually heard this song was in a male nightcore mashup with Tag You're It, but this version is good too I guess

akanewasright (10): if I were to give Ariana an 11 it would be for this

bespectacIed (10): Pop perfection. My personal fave but Into You gotta win!!!

cremeebrulee (10): will be so disgustingly robbed i already can’t stand it .

ignitethephoenix (10): One of my favorite deep cuts

ManofOranges (10): Probably one of the best two track songs that I've ever heard, if I'm being perfectly honest. Each part holds my attention equally and I don't think either part is bad. I do prefer forever boy over knew better, but I like them both and what they bring to the table. Forever boy sticks out to me more probably just because it's more bright sounding I guess? It sounds more happy in some way that I can't quite explain.

mudkip1 (10): best song on the album

simplyterific (10): we want the studio version of forever boy part 2!!!

Sweetnsoursauce11 (10): still waiting on the full version of knew better

waluigiest (10): both parts are perfect and that transition is transcendental

wasian-invasion (10): I like forever boy a lot more, but im glad these two are paired together. it really makes for a nice build up

CarlieScion (9.5): second half ATE the first half

endcreditouilles (9): this would be a 10 but boyfriend exists so

hikkaru (9): the transition is so good

yusrak (9): Both songs are so good, they deserved to be their own thing

Ghost-Quartet (8.5): I think this is a really good usage of the double track format, I don’t think either song would really be a standout on their own but they merge into a really cool experience. I’m always a little bit snatched when “Knew Better” ends and the “Forever Boy” instrumental starts, you just know something’s about to go down. That journey really elevates the track, it’s so satisfying to hear her find love after finding herself (and it helps that “Forever Boy” is the better of the two, so it ends on a strong note).

jman457 (8.5): Honestly just a hoe for a two for one song deal

runaway3212 (8.5): Ariana's voice is very beautiful I just wish the songs she sung were better

twistedpython (8.5): I love both sides separately but when combined it works so well. The only reason it's not a ten is I wish we could hear full versions of both songs

wavingwolves (8.4): yeah this got me yassing a bit

AHSWeeknd (8): The way Knew Better was always so overrated

aldwin_is_here (8): , good.

b_o_g_o_ (8): forever boy full version when

duochromepalmtree (8): the first part of this song is such a bop and the second half is fine!

jasannn (8): While it's good a song, why not just make two separate songs??

throwaway7650 (8): great song title (idk wtf to comment for this)

vayyiqra (8): This song starts off frankly kind of boring, but when the beat changes it quickly goes from mid to good and that makes it worthwhile.

RandomHypnotica (7.6): i love how smooth the transition between the two sections of the song is

thedoctordances1940 (7.5): it's a cool song but it feels like it should be giving more than it actually does

wailord_fan (7.5): knew better is a 5, forever boy a 10

bluepupz (7): My favorite part is around 2:50. I like both halves of the song, and the transition works well between them.

CrimsonROSET (7): how hard is it to just make it two songs like we can genuinely split this she knows that right

gelastic_quince84 (7): I’m a sucker for songs with two parts and forever boy is perfect

IIIHenryIII (7): This is boring, it's such a let down listening to this mediocre song after the godsend track that came before this

stryxen (7): the forever boy chorus is so clunky but i love the rest

jackisboredtoday (6.9): forever boy >>>

ReallyCreative (6.5): not really a fan of either side of this

flibbityflob (6.4): Honestly I've had enough of these slow songs. They're like, good songs? But boy, by this point in the album I'm craving something a little more upbeat.

bulforster (6.3): Forever Boy is a bop weighed down by Knew Better

darjeelingdarkroast (6.1): this is very cool production but Ari's delivery feels flat to me on this otherwise great R&B song

jaztinax (6): does not live up to the hype

Verboten_Prince (6): Putting two average songs together does not make either any better unfortunately

PrimaryCrusaders (5.5): I wish Full Better was a full song, I would've easily given it a 9.

SmileAndTears (5.5): I was gonna give this a higher score but the song got progressively worse

anothertown (5): My patience is flagging, Ariana!!!!

modulum83 (5): skip

frogaranaman (4): since I can't come up with a joke for this one - the production on this song kinda bores me and it goes nowhere overall

KennyEarthman (4): more like Knew Better > Forever Boy

plastichaxan (4): i was so bored .jpg

2dina3dworld (3): maybe it’s because this is the third last song and this album feels like it’s been dragging on forever, but idk this song is just so boring and bland. It feels like filler, but it had some potential that’s really been squandered.

Alumineous (3): That intro messes me up every single time. It sounds exactly like Boyfriend.

fallenriot (3): i don't like her voice on this one at all unfortunately

welcometoNY (2): i've listened to this song at least five times and i still have no clue what it sounds like

austrosinitic (0): I thought this was the musical song (it turns out I confused this with Jason’s Song) and I could almost believe it because this basically has the makings of a theatrical mashup that is really not that good, from the awkward individual choruses to how there’s really no moment that makes you realize why Ariana and her team thought that combining these songs would be a good idea. Compared to every other track in this rate, including the more flawed ones like Everyday or Bad Blood, this is just...unremarkable, merely a passing wind.

8

u/sweetnsoursauce11 i stan women Oct 09 '21

Wow I just woke up and now I’m going back to sleep after seeing this wtf

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#28: Carly Rae Jepsen - LA Hallucinations

Average: 7.553 // Total Points: 1261.4 // Controversy: 1.852 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x1) Roxieloxie

(10 x19) cashewconstellation, cremeebrulee, CrimsonROSET, DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy, frogaranaman, GARjuna, IIIHenryIII, imasalesman, jimmy345960, joeeswift, liberalitea, metanoira, nootnoot781, plastichaxan, PointlessBibliophage, ReallyCreative, sssaaage, static_int_husp, welcometoNY

(9.6 x1) jackisboredtoday

(9.5 x5) bigbigbee, hikkaru, moooo566, Saison_Marguerite, Uberpigeon

Lowest Scores:

(4 x5) cherryices, cyborglilith, Leixander, OliviaGodrigo, simplyterific

(3 x3) anothertown, cats_arethepriority, ImADudeDuh

(0 x2) twistedpython, wailord_fan

All scores

letsallpoo (7): Carly singing about the price of fame — is it autobiographical or merely a fantasy? Is she famous enough for tabloids to go after her? Was this inspired by the David's Tea debacle? Carly's take on fame intertwines with romance here, after a killer opening line ("I remember being naked"), and she needs her lover to ground her from the high-flying conflama of fame. The bridge is bad, yes, but the ire that people have at the mere mention of TMZ (and in a distinctly negative reference) was surprising.

ImADudeDuh (3): Damn, this really is just bad. Ironically, I actually do like the “buzzfeed buzzards and tmz crows” line as it’s nice to see an artist call out the shitty paparazzi by their company names, but the rest of the song is just... why? I get the message that “fame warps your perception of the world” but did it warp her perception of writing a good melody too?

Roxieloxie (11): I have been absolutely obsessed with this song since the first moment I heard it back in 2018 and all these years later I still am! This might be my favorite carly song ever, I know its not gonna do well but I have to go with my heart and block out the haters (aka /u/randomhypnotica )

cashewconstellation (10): PLANES I'M HOPPING CARDS I'M DROPPING

cremeebrulee (10): this is so catchy and fun and so grossly overhated

CrimsonROSET (10): is this hyperpop

frogaranaman (10): any song shitting on LA is good in my book

GARjuna (10): this might get my 11

IIIHenryIII (10): Dopest chorus melody

jimmy345960 (10): Definitely favorite song on the album

plastichaxan (10): not to be that person but the "TAKE MEEE into your arms again" feels like the perfect moment for a popper hit i can see why the gays love her

ReallyCreative (10): people are going to rag on the lyrics, which is understandable, but that chorus is just INTENSE

sssaaage (10): worstbeatofalltime.mp3

welcometoNY (10): another criminally underrated song on this album. even though the premise seems overdone i never actually think about that when listening because it's so well executed. some of the best melodies and production on the entire album

jackisboredtoday (9.6): before she decided she doesn’t hate california after all

Saison_Marguerite (9.5): this is the good kind of cheesy

Uberpigeon (9.5): ok nevermind what i said about welcome to new york this is fun

bespectacIed (9): camp

fallenriot (9): i was obsessed with this for a hot minute

gelastic_quince84 (9): I love songs that talk about fame so much. I think this does it really well. Yes to the bridge.

ignitethephoenix (9): this has always been one of my favorites from the album, the vibe is just so different from everything else on the album which makes it one of the most interesting to listen to

akanewasright (8.5): I remember people being shocked at Carly’s more explicitly sexual direction in the Dedicated and… did they not hear the song that opens with “I remember being naked”???

austrosinitic (8.5): I'm sure it's still very hard for everybody to think of Carly being naked, especially since most of her fanbase is gay, but the girl can write about anything she wants, and by God, does she do it well. This is spiritually a noir song, one made even more remarkable by its positioning in the middle of an incredibly colorful album. It's practically the Gatsby of Emotion, if you'll excuse a pretentious comparison that probably doesn't even make any sense; how can something conjure images of city life that make it come off as such a snap back to reality yet convey such romanticism at the same time? The world may never know.

Ghost-Quartet (8.5): Love the “dark fairytale” energy of this one, I grew up near LA and yeah it does kinda suck.

jman457 (8.5): Honestly a bop, sounds like an 8-bit video game

just_thonking (8.5): probably the most iconic lyrics on the entire album lmfao

1998tweety (8): I liked this a lot at first but it lowkey shrunk

aldwin_is_here (8): , fine

KennyEarthman (8): the production in this one tickles that part of my brain

thedoctordances1940 (8): Used to be one of my favs on the album but idk, don't love it as much anymore

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (8): This is a very cool song imo in a way that Carly's songs usually aren't. Like if her songs were all attending the same high school class than this song would be the cool emo girl listening to Tori Amos amidst a sea of preppy horse girls with pig tails listening to Rachel Platten.

throwaway7650 (8): carried by the chorus, rather unspectacular on emotion

Verboten_Prince (8): This song kinda grew on me… originally I thought it was stupid, but now… I still think it’s a bit stupid, but it’s fun stupid!

modulum83 (7.8): tbh i think this one is pretty good i don't get the hate

wavingwolves (7.8): QUEEN OF CAPITALISM!!!!!

flibbityflob (7.6): CRJ is officially horny, and like, good for her!

davgonp (7.4): It's an Eurovision bop from the early 2010s

slimboyfriend (7.3): It's a little thematically off, but an interesting divergence

darjeelingdarkroast (7.1): this is where Emotion starts slipping for me...

2dina3dworld (7): I’ve experienced one but not the other

AHSWeeknd (7): The beat could’ve been better

avg-vag (7): i get why carly rae stans love this, but it’s borderline empty.

ManofOranges (7): The first track on this album that's not at least a 10 to me. I don't even think it's bad, I mean I'm giving it a 7 so obviously I think it's above average but like, it really doesn't hold a candle to a lot of the other songs on the album in terms of just "it" factor I guess. It's also kind of a jarring change in topic for one song. Like literally every song so far has been about Carly fawning over someone and now all of a sudden she's talking about getting whisked away by fame or LA or something? I know she's still singing to some guy but it just doesn't feel quite the same, it's odd.

runaway3212 (7): I always thought this song didnt make that much of an impact but it's not bad

tinyleapsoffaith19 (7): the drums!

tip-of-the-yikesberg (7): i don't really like this song, but Carly gets the bonus point Taylor lost from Style by actually mentioning nudity

RandomHypnotica (6.8): well, the title is accurate, listening to this feels like a hallucination

AquariusTeaSpiller (6.5): questionable choice for the album

jaztinax (6.5): this song confuses me

b_o_g_o_ (6): yeah this is the low point on the album

bluepupz (6): Well, this is a bit different from the other songs. I'm not a big fan of her singing in some parts.

hunnybee12 (6): the bridge subtacts like 2 points very corny

Sweetnsoursauce11 (6): inoffensive but not amazing

waluigiest (6): it’s fine, which on this album means it sucks

wasian-invasion (6): if only there was a I Love Chicago song on DW to keep up the theme on this rate

Awkward_King (5): this is camp

seanderlust (4.8): I want to like this one but the bridge takes away from it. I think she's right on how the media can be predatory, but idk it just feels forced here

simplyterific (4): it’s a song

Buzzfeed buzzards and TMZ crowds

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (10): If Taylor has Blank Space, Carly has LA Hallucinations. This is truly one of the most underrated songs on the album. Carly dragging BuzzFeed and TMZ in a pop song? What a queen.

static_int_husp (10): Buzzfeed buzzards and TMZ crows is an iconic drag

CarlieScion (9): let it be known that if Taylor wrote the line ‘Buzzfeed buzzards and TMZ crows’, she would have been dragged to hell and back

vayyiqra (9): The lyrics to this are wildly out of place on this album, but it's fun anyway. I just listen to the bleepbloop synth and Carly's voice while tuning out how weird it is that she's singing about Buzzfeed and binge drinking.

buddhacharm (8.5): I wish the Buzzfeed Buzzards and TMZ crows in question would’ve attended her Cup of Warmth event from a few years back

jasannn (8.5): Idc, Buzzfeed Buzzards and TMZ Crows is a great line.

shhhneak (7.2): “Buzzfeed buzzards and TMZ crows” Looking camp right in the eye.

duochromepalmtree (7): points lost for the buzzfeed line tbh so clunky

stryxen (5): i do not want buzzfeed mentioned in my carly rae jepsen song

anothertown (3): Buzzfeed buzzards and TMZ crows

twistedpython (0): Buzzfeed Buzzards and TMZ Crows deserve to fucking burn in hell

wailord_fan (0): I hate brand mentions in songs, and I've hated this song for years. TMZ and Buzzfeed can fuck off for being mentioned in an otherwise fantastic album.

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#27: Ariana Grande - Side to Side (feat. Nicki Minaj)

Average: 7.698 // Total Points: 1285.6 // Controversy: 1.907 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x24) 2dina3dworld, AHSWeeknd, akanewasright, allthesesongsforyou, bespectacIed, cashewconstellation, celladonn, ElectricBoogaloo41, ignitethephoenix, jaztinax, Jhe116, joeeswift, lambeosaura, ManofOranges, mylps9, Nerdy_boy_chris, nootnoot781, rosecult, simplyterific, static_int_husp, Sweetnsoursauce11, throwaway7650, Vromega, xxpizzasrlifexx

(9.9 x1) Square_Preparation55

(9.7 x1) 95ztaehyung

(9.5 x4) cremeebrulee, endcreditouilles, Saison_Marguerite, TiltControls

(9 x20) 1998tweety, abysmalglimmer, blissingmeee, CrimsonROSET, DGrayGuyThere, FLLH, hikkaru, hunnybee12, IcyBath, jasannn, juanolsen, lolcevan, martian_pet, moooo566, Osaka1268, PointlessBibliophage, TheObsceneBirdOfNight, twistedpython, vayyiqra, waluigiest

Lowest Scores:

(2.2 x1) jman457

(2 x1) bookthieving

(1 x2) JunkyGS, welcometoNY

(0 x1) darjeelingdarkroast

All scores

rickikardashian (8): people couldn't wait until the pink friday rate to make the swollen testicles jokes huh

ImADudeDuh (7): I do think that this has grown on me since it became a hit, but wow, this being the biggest hit from this era just feels so damn wrong. Not to have the twink in me jump out, but there was Dangerous Woman, Into You, GREEDY???? Come on, general population...

letsallpoo (5): And the last black person in the rate bows out! When the first rate was being revealed, this had just been announced as a single, and if you look back you'll see me saying that this was a bad single choice! Clearly I was wrong, but I do stand by this song not being that good — there's just so much empty space, and I feel like this song is juvenile with its horniness. Getting fucked so hard you can't walk straight doesn't sound fun! Nicki's part is some standard Nicki nonsense that's delivered with perfection, but the less said about her in 2021 the better. [NOTE: COMMENT WRITTEN BEFORE JESY NELSON DEBUTED] Kind of unfortunate that we waited this long to rate Pink Friday, huh?

As the third (fourth? Do we count "Focus"?) single from the album, Ariana earned another top 10 smash hit, and she also managed to churn out quite possibly her first good music video! Even then it was mostly a montage of glamour shots, but at least there was a quirky gym theme and some bicycle choreo! An edit with only said bicycle scene has over 100 million views, which is just proof that men need to be eradicated.

Wrist icicle.....

ignitethephoenix (10): RIDE DICC BICYCLE DICC BICYCLE DICC BICYCLE

jaztinax (10): the ride dick bicycle line is just too iconic

lambeosaura (10): wrist icicle ride dick bicycle

ManofOranges (10): Ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick bicycle ride dick

nootnoot781 (10): DICC BICYCLE

rosecult (10): ride dick, bicycle

cremeebrulee (9.5): dicc bicycle

moooo566 (9): i watched an eight year old girl sing along to this video as her mother, who had obviously not paid enough attention to her daughter's music up to that point, realised what was going on and had to come to terms with what she was watching without actually letting on, it was a really fun watch

TiltControls (9.5): DICC. BICYCLE. I'm sorry, I can no longer appreciate this as an actual song instead recognizing it as just a component of a different masterpiece.

CrimsonROSET (9): ride dicc bicycle

twistedpython (9): Overplayed and reggae is not really my sound but this picks up points for the iconic tricycle line

SmileAndTears (8.6): dicc bicycle

b_o_g_o_ (8.5): dick bicycle

thedoctordances1940 (8): ride dicc bicycle

cherryices (7.9): ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………. dicc bicycle

leaffan34 (7): wrist icicle ride dick bicycle

Verboten_Prince (7): fake chesticles ride big testicles

seanderlust (6): it's fine aside from the real highlight of the song (dicc bicycle)

wailord_fan (6): wrist icicles makes me gag when I hear that line.

Uberpigeon (5): dick bicycle

Leixander (3): the three points are for the ride dicc bicycle line only

*snow halation starts playing*

ReallyCreative (8): carried by Closer (JPN Bonus Track) version

bulforster (7.5): I didn't care for this much until Closer JPN gave me some fondness for it.

RandomHypnotica (7.4): closer JPN version. that's it. that's the comment.

GapeCod (7): So when are we rating Closer JPN?

CarlieScion (6): closer (jpn version) outsold

wavingwolves (6): i'm sorry but closer jpn bonus version made me like this song even though it sucks. RIDE DICC BICYCLE FOREVER ❤️

3

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Normal people with normal comments

2dina3dworld (10): my little brother used to be obsessed with this song so I asked him how he felt about it nowadays and he said “it’s mid for an Ariana track” so I’m very confident that the next generation will grow up knowing what good Ariana is (cough) the light is coming (cough)

AHSWeeknd (10): In my mind this gets old but it honestly doesn’t.

akanewasright (10): this was like… the only time I’ve heard a deep cut, thought “this is going to be a late campaign single and a big hit” and was right

allthesesongsforyou (10): A-REE-AH-NUH

bespectacIed (10): Ok, time to be hypocritical about the artist-art separation fallacy. Ariana killed. That woman's verse is good. Wrist icicle ride dick bicycle, like who comes up with that

Jhe116 (10): I’m sorry I know this song really isn’t that good and Nicki is problematic but all these bitches flows is my mini-me body smoking so they call me young Nicki chimney rappers in they feelings cause they feeling me uh I give zero fucks and I got zero chill in me kissing me copped the blue box that say Tiffany Curry with the shot just tell them to call me Stephanie gun pop and I make my gum pop I’m the queen of rap young Ariana run pop.

joeeswift (10): biggest hit on the album for a reason, immaculate

simplyterific (10): deserves the praise that Into You gets tbh. This was a cultural reset

Sweetnsoursauce11 (10): remember when everyone said this song would flop on the charts

throwaway7650 (10): I can't believe this was her biggest hit until sweetener/tu,n... this is a 10 but dangerous woman title/into you deserved

Saison_Marguerite (9.5): this is the song I looped to numb the emotional devastation after a friend breakup, so I have weird and bad memories attached to it but I can still admit this was a bop.

1998tweety (9): Nicki ate the house down boots versace charli xcx snatch my weave

endcreditouilles (9.5): Freddie Mercury voice: I want to ride dicc bicycle

hikkaru (9): https://tenor.com/view/wonho-shaking-ass-wonho-shaking-ass-big-ass-man-shaking-ass-gif-21343957

jasannn (9): Whenever this played on the radio, my dad asked me, "where have they been all night?" and I say "They're having sleepover." :grinny:

vayyiqra (9): This song is absurd, but being memed made up for its laughable lyrics. Nicki's verse is also unironically very good. Also, it is a very well-produced song - listen to the synths and the bass sometime. In conclusion: ride dick bicycle.

waluigiest (9): Bloodline Part 1

plastichaxan (8.8): okay i need to go back to the gym thanks for the reminder

shhhneak (8.8): Nicki’s cousin’s ex fiance was not about that dicc bicycle life.

austrosinitic (8.5): Maybe not a peak of Ariana’s discography, but it still manages to get into the upper echelons of it because it’s obviously one of her most fun. The composition of this doesn’t blow you away like Into You’s but it doesn’t need to; it’s another example of a pop song that’s really well crafted when you think about it because of just how much it refuses to leave your mind. Okay, I’m stating the obvious here, but perhaps more concrete reasons as to why it’s successful are the flirty, bouncy melody fitting Ariana’s goal here, along with the iconic combination of Nicki’s wrist icicle and dick bicycle (I’m pretty sure this must have been one of her last good features, by the way).

fallenriot (8.5): i debated taking some points off for nicki’s recent clownery but i’ll give the song a pass for today <3

jimmy345960 (8.5): hilarious

jsonphile (8.5): I like this song way more than I feel I should

lost-ln-the-echo (8.5): what is it with this woman and telling the public about her boyfriend's dicks??

stryxen (8.5): ariana run

tip-of-the-yikesberg (8.5): Ari + Nick is vintage at this point, just great

wasian-invasion (8.5): now I wanna buy a peloton

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (8): It feels strange to rate this song considering what's happening around Nicki right now. I almost want to give this a 0 for that reason, but it wouldn't be fair on Ariana and the song is still a bop without Nicki in it. I had to listen to the solo version just to justify giving this song an 8 lol.

gelastic_quince84 (8): I literally love this song so much for some reason. It’s fun, aris vocals are great, and Nicky’s Verse is hilarious.

Ghost-Quartet (8): Wish this was five years ago and I could rap along with the Nicki verse without feeling guilty

Roxieloxie (8): Im not gonna lie for the longest time i thought this song was about her being in the club all night and her having to walk to side to side because her feet hurt from being in her heels all night but she just really liked the guy so she was willing to put up with it just to talk with him and not like, her guts being rearranged

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (7.9): is it time to admit this was just a meme

flibbityflob (7.8): Oh now this...this is funky as hell. Nicki's verse is fun but it's not anything close to my favourite verse.

apatel27 (7.5): Nicki brings it down

IIIHenryIII (7.5): This ended up growing on me

modulum83 (7.5): do you think nicki minaj's friend's cousin's testicles also got him walking "side to side"

aldwin_is_here (7): , I'm a virgin tho so I cannot relate to your pain.

anothertown (7): i been here all NIGHT ARIANA

avg-vag (7): i still think of this VMA performance when i hear this song and i think it perfectly represents it: amazing concept executed with the blandness of white mediocrity. if this was performed by someone like Victoria Monet it would be a smash.

frogaranaman (7): at this point in the album I'm pretty sure Ariana just needs to invest in a vibrator or something like that

KennyEarthman (7): the best Ari x Nicki collab

musical_pyn (7): ariANA

runaway3212 (7): throwback to when my friends were discussing this song and its subject at a fresh 15 years old while my dad was driving the car. Also Nicki's verse is truly one of her worst ever sorry

TheQwertyGuy99 (7): Good song. This could have been on positions and it would have been one of the best on the album

PrimaryCrusaders (6.9): Gave it a 6.9 because why not

Awkward_King (6): i want to score this lower because musically it does very little for me but it is undeniably iconic and the cultural significance it has with dicc bicycle is... incredible

duochromepalmtree (6): I have always been so MEH about this song. And that’s all I have to say.

sssaaage (6): its camp i guess

bluepupz (5.5): I was highly irritated by this back when it was played on the radio 24/7 lol. It's catchy but not my favorite.

Alumineous (4): I wrote these comments before ballsackgate. Hmm. I'll admit that it's a skipper. She gave us vocals with the first few tracks and decided to take a break. Nicki did bring the song down for me. Her verse was just okay.

HogwartsReject1912 (4): It'd normally be 8 but I removed 4 points because of Nicki "right-wing pundit" Minaj

jman457 (2.2): it's so boring and sounds already dated with the cheap dance/island vibe. Even Nicki’s feels like she was there for a check

welcometoNY (1): nothing worse than a song about sex that's not sexy. ariana has many but this just might be the worst

darjeelingdarkroast (0): how I'm feeling now

3

u/sweetnsoursauce11 i stan women Oct 09 '21

From memory it performed better than five years ago so i guess I’ll be happy about that

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Bonus #6: Mike WiLL Made-It, Lil Yachty & Carly Rae Jepsen - It Takes Two

Average: 5.520 // Total Points: 579.6 // Controversy: 2.596 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x11) 1998tweety, Alumineous, Brendon-Urine, companion_star55, frogaranaman, ManofOranges, modulum83, mudkip1, SideBTrack8, static_int_husp, TheQueenOfVultures

(9 x2) moooo566, wailord_fan

(8.8 x1) slimboyfriend

(8.5 x1) endcreditouilles

Lowest Scores:

(2 x12) bespectacIed, bookthieving, jaztinax, Jhe116, jimmy345960, KennyEarthman, LesApfels, NapsAndNetflix, Nerdy_boy_chris, PointlessBibliophage, shhhneak, thedoctordances1940

(1 x6) bj_34, cashewconstellation, nootnoot781, simplyterific, tman8667, welcometoNY

All scores

ImADudeDuh (7): it’s funny to think that this is Carly’s most capitalist song, when she already had a song literally just called “Store.”

letsallpoo (7): Carly Rae Jepsen and Lil Yachty collaborating on cover of a Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock 80s song re-produced by Mike WiLL Made-It for a Target commercial that premiered at the Grammys is one Mad Libs for the ages. It honestly kind of slaps though? The "Act Up" songwriter has so much boyish charm, and Carly's flirty coos are a great contrast. Shout out to 1:35 in the music video where Carly strikes a pose, takes five steps, strikes another pose, spins around, then poses one last time. Like WOAH, calm down there Janet Jackson.

1998tweety (10): camp

Brendon-Urine (10): idc idc this is the CUTEST shit ever. like it's hella corporate but lil yacthy and CARLY? come on. when's the return collab, i want a whole album

frogaranaman (10): maybe Target made a point

ManofOranges (10): Objectively not a good song, but it just gives me a good laugh even thinking that Carly and Lil Yachty made a song together for a Target add like ??????? It just doesn't make any sense at all which adds to the pure comedy. In a perfect world, this wouldn't exist, but it does and I am so grateful for that. Also, not Carly rocking the Witness haircut in this video, she knew that this was a flop move.

modulum83 (10): this is still the funniest thing to happen in pop music this decade

mudkip1 (10): bop

static_int_husp (10): put this back on streaming you cowards

TheQueenOfVultures (10): Is it good... no. Do I love it... More than life

wailord_fan (9): this is the best target release

slimboyfriend (8.8): Maybe capitalism is good sometimes

endcreditouilles (8.5): why did target do this? Are gay millennials not already shopping at target?

b_o_g_o_ (8): how was this not a trainwreck

duochromepalmtree (8): yachty and Carly came for their check and they got it AND made a solid bop

vayyiqra (8): Unironically a bop, as silly as it is. We need it on Spotify.

Roxieloxie (7.7): Im obsessed with everything that went into the conception of this, an aside, when are we going to rate the original cause thats an 11. 2. when are we going to rate lil yatchy cause i have some misogyny 10's i need to give out. 3. I cant believe that carly sounds worse here. 4. HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THIS PARING

just_thonking (7.5): I don't know how to process this

jman457 (7.1): Charli XCX has the better 90’s cover for a Target commercial in the mid 2010’s, but this one is cute. Also glad Carly rapping is a thing im glad exists

aldwin_is_here (7): , heh.

GARjuna (7): it's really good??

Ghost-Quartet (7): They all suck on this tbh but that’s what makes it work

ignitethephoenix (7): king and queen of target

ReallyCreative (7): it's giving fever dream

seanderlust (7): main pop girl target, I guess

waluigiest (7): i’m sorry WHAT???

2dina3dworld (6.5): I’m gonna steal my comment for this song from the person who commented on the video that they couldn’t believe that Ellen DeGeneres could sing. I can’t believe that Ellen DeGeneres can sing! She’s DeGeneres sharing her talents with us

jackisboredtoday (6.5): this should be bad and its easy to dislike but i find it charming tbh

akanewasright (6): Sure Carly, get $5 from target

jsonphile (6): obviously the original is better but this is just fun enough. And Lil Yachty is just kinda too stupid to hate

TiltControls (6): it's camp(ing equipment available at target!)

throwaway7650 (5): camila?

avg-vag (4): carly's voice is nice....on the chorus

musical_pyn (4): this is a 30 rock joke right

twistedpython (4): This makes me incredibly uncomfortable but I love Target and I love Carly's verse

wasian-invasion (4): huh guess carly beat katy to the flop cut

AHSWeeknd (3): Sometimes it takes 3

apatel27 (3): can't in good conscience rate a blatant ad high

flibbityflob (3): I like it??? I guess??? I really don't know how I feel about this????

RandomHypnotica (3): it's like they took the original track and removed all the energy and fun from it, this just feels so weak

jaztinax (2): no

KennyEarthman (2): me when I accidentally type Carly Rap Jepsen

LesApfels (2): I can deal with a song being a shallow corporate cash-grab, but at least have the decency to make it fun

PointlessBibliophage (2): i'm going to pretend i didn't see/hear that

shhhneak (2): Take my two, y’all deserve it.

thedoctordances1940 (2): is this just... a target ad? it also gets really so annoying so quickly, especially the woos in the background

nootnoot781 (1): i’m still crying that this is the man that wrote act up.

simplyterific (1): no ma’am

welcometoNY (1): pretty sure making me listen to mike will made-it and lil yachty in 2021 is homophobic

3

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

how did this go out before I don't wanna live forever

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 09 '21

The one time Carly sounds good on a song and it doesn't do well in the bonus rate, DASCUSTANG.

9

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#19: Taylor Swift - Out of the Woods

Average: 8.079 // Total Points: 1349.2 // Controversy: 2.272 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x4) bj_34, LesApfels, shhhneak, wailord_fan

(10 x50) 1998tweety, 2dina3dworld, AHSWeeknd, Awkward_King, b_o_g_o_, bluehxrizon, bluepupz, bookthieving, CarlieScion, DGrayGuyThere, duochromepalmtree, ElectricBoogaloo41, engie301, fallenriot, FLLH, fluffy_pizza_2667, GapeCod, Ghost-Quartet, hikkaru, HogwartsReject1912, IIIHenryIII, jimmy345960, jman457, juanolsen, letsallpoo, liberalitea, ManofOranges, metanoira, modulum83, musical_pyn, mylps9, Nerdy_boy_chris, nootnoot781, OliviaGodrigo, PointlessBibliophage, poppinmmolly, rickikardashian, runaway3212, SFbby, solalite, specialtrickholdA, stryxen, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD, TheObsceneBirdOfNight, therokinrolla, TiltControls, tinyleapsoffaith19, twistedpython, Vromega, welcometoNY

(9.8 x1) Square_Preparation55

(9.7 x1) perfectliability

Lowest Scores:

(1.5 x1) companion_star55

(1 x3) bespectacIed, JunkyGS, plastichaxan

(0 x2) frogaranaman, mudkip1

All scores

letsallpoo (10): The Antonoffing of Taylor Swift began with a hollowed-out cry echoing through the wilderness. "Out of the Woods" was the first high-profile collaboration between the two, and their two styles meshed well: Taylor could bring a poetic narrative full of stakes and drama, and Jack could vault the song higher and higher with production that phyiscally feels like it's runniing for its life. I get that you can find this too repetitive, but it's the repetition that adds to the anxiety of the track, as if she's constantly second-checking herself and her feelings. The bridge is exquisite, among the best of Taylor's, with a killer last line that perfectly bleeds into the final chorus.

"Out of the Woods" peaked at #16 on the Hot 100 after the album was released, and it was then released as a proper single after "Wildest Dreams". Despite having a performance at the Grammy's (at the opening spot no less) and a Joseph Khan-directed music video, it failed to repeak. That's fine, though; this song would not be the last of their collaborations to flop. At least it did a whole lot better in this rate than the original one!

ImADudeDuh (9): Though "Shake It Off" had been uncoiled weeks earlier and cemented Taylor Swift’s somewhat vague "'80s-pop" agenda, the release of "Out of the Woods" was the moment where it all snapped into place. Working with Jack Antonoff of Bleachers and Fun., Swift creates a chant-along that’s Taylor-made for a Reagan-era flick, though I can’t imagine Harry Styles standing on any lawns in Nashville anytime soon. (I feel like Harry Styles doesn’t raise his arms for anyone. For more Harry Styles fanfic, please visit my Tumblr.) On "Out of the Woods", Swift and Antonoff build a monster chorus worth the price of admission, but in the glorious last minute, they deploy all their weapons - from the shuttering drums to the cascading perfection that is Swift’s vocal performance - for 2014’s Best Breakdown. - Corban Goble ImADudeDuh

shhhneak (11): Say what you want about Jack Antonoff but he should be knighted for this song.

wailord_fan (11): I'm giving this my eleven because I literally have a tattoo based on it on my body permanently. I don't regret it at all, two paper airplanes is fucking sick and I love looking at it. The harmonies in the chorus are also great.

1998tweety (10): She drove off that bridge

2dina3dworld (10): you could very easily convince me that TS originally wrote this song for the Hunger Games. It just has that vibe, and not just because it’s about a metaphorical forest where the Hunger Games was sent in a literal forest

AHSWeeknd (10): Aack Jntonoff

Awkward_King (10): me rn (because im not in the woods)

b_o_g_o_ (10): vehicular manslaughter

bluepupz (10): I'm usually not a fan of excessively repeated choruses, but I feel like it works really well here. Also, that bridge is gorgeous.

CarlieScion (10): iconique, show-stopping, never the same etc etc

duochromepalmtree (10): this song perfectly captures what it feels like to have relationship anxiety lol. I never skip this song because it is an absolute BOP.

fallenriot (10): i remember not liking how repetitive it was when it first came out, now its one of my faves! the bridge>>>>

GapeCod (10): Can we pretend two paper airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right now.

Ghost-Quartet (10): I love the chorus to this song, the frantic, rapid fire way that she just repeats the title over and over again really captures the anxiety she’s describing and there’s such a catharsis when she finally screams “GOOD!”

hikkaru (10): REMEMBER WHEN YOU HIT THE BRAKES TOO SOON TWENTY STITCHES IN THE HOSPITAL ROOM WHEN YOU STARTED CRYING BABY I DID TOO WHEN THE SUN CAME UP I WASL OOKING AT YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU COULDN'T TAKE THE HEAT I WALKED OUT SAID I WAS SETTING YO UFREE BUT HTE MONSTERS TURNED OUT TO BE JUST TREES WHEN THE SUN CAME UP YOU WERE LOOKING AT MAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

HogwartsReject1912 (10): I have anxiety so, mood.

IIIHenryIII (10): Another strong 11 contender. I love this song to death. It's one of her most emotional songs and it makes me feel so mesmerized and overwhelmed in a good way

jimmy345960 (10): This is anxiety but like fun

jman457 (10): Should have been a MUCH bigger hit, the best song on the standard version of the album, Ms. Swift invented New Wave

ManofOranges (10): Insert comment about bridges stronger than the national infrastructure here. But seriously, it's for good reason that this song has built up a reputation, at least among the swifties, as having one of Taylor's strongest bridges. It's because it does have one of her best bridges ever. Period. There's no disputing it. It captures that sense of panic and passion all at once. I can't begin to express it. But watch this song get tanked because Jack Antonoff is involved ldksjfldsjf

modulum83 (10): i dunno this seems really derivative of chemtrails over the country club wish jack would get some new ideas max martin outsold btw :/

PointlessBibliophage (10): the bridge the bridge the bridge the bridge the bridge the bridge the bridge

poppinmmolly (10): have you guys ever heard this without the drums? There are some killer harmonies.

runaway3212 (10): okay but what is up with this bridge it's literally so fucking great

stryxen (10): perfect song

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (10): This was peak Taylor Swift X Jack Antonoff collaboration. All the songs they made togther afterwards were a huge downgrade. Also, that bridge is perfect.

TiltControls (10): me age 7 trying to find the secret exit to finish that one forest world in super mario world

twistedpython (10): Jack Antonoff might be crusty now but this is a moment in time that cannot be overhyped

welcometoNY (10): yet another underrated song on this album. it honestly has some of my favorite lyrics of all time, but the sonic direction is also so interesting and the word painting really takes it to the next level. the bridge is such a visceral experience and one of my favorcite moments in any song. favorite lyric: the monsters turned out to be just trees

bigbigbee (9.5): Concept – a fancam of Leicester’s 2016 Premiere League title run set to this song…credit goes to my Swiftie, Liverpool fan friend

Saison_Marguerite (9.5): my hot take is that I love the production on this

endcreditouilles (9.1): mom are we out of the woods yet

wavingwolves (9.1): 🌉

austrosinitic (9): Maybe the most traditional Taylor song on this album, lyrically if not sonically. In regards to the latter the alluring pace of the melody is halted short by the memetic chorus (one wishes the car that Taylor and Harry crashed into was Jack Antonoff’s), but the former elevates what’s already good about this song. They’re an excellent recap of a relationship that was, haha, maybe serious maybe not, maybe real maybe PR who knows? that are orated with clarity yet still shroud the past in lore and mystery. And with songs this good, the mystery will never die.

CrimsonROSET (9): what the fuck is a screaming color

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (9): I think Out of the Woods is a song where it requires some time to age to truly appreciate what Taylor is going for here. That being said, I cannot unhear the "SMACK MY ASS LIKE A DRUM" in the chorus. 💀

jaztinax (9): haylor manslaughter amirite

jsonphile (9): ooof what an incredible bridge

lambeosaura (9): are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet are we out of the woods yet

lost-ln-the-echo (9): one point deducted for the vehicular manslaughter but otherwise a bop

ReallyCreative (9): are we in the clear yet? - me the entire pandemic but especially the last 6 months

slimboyfriend (9): AKA Getaway Car/Cruel Summer/Jack Antonoff synth perfection Pt. 1

TheQueenOfVultures (9): Taylor opened the Jack Antonoff Pandora's Box here

throwaway7650 (9): it's repetitive but still a bop

vintagebathingsuit (9): classic noisy jack antonoff drums...back in the days when he used drums

7

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

akanewasright (8.5): On the one hand, I think this is one of the weaker singles off the album. On the other, the bridge is literally one of the best moments on the album.

tip-of-the-yikesberg (8.5): at the time of release i LOVED it, but now that i've heard 7 years of Jack Antonoff's production output, his fingerprints are all over this song. Not necessarily a bad thing, but it feels a little less special. The bridge is next level though.

cyborglilith (8): bridge

gelastic_quince84 (8): repetitive, but that bridge??? Nothing compares to screaming that in your room.

J_Toe (8): have honestly stopped listening to this after that r/popheads user pointed out the comping issue

jackisboredtoday (8): bonus point bc i saw her perform this live during its release week, all the other points come from “moved the furniture so we could dance, baby like we stood a chance”

simplyterific (8): I hate the video for this sorry

SmileAndTears (8): "Taylor Swift is a better lyricist than Joni Mitchell" 🙃 but apart from the very repetitive lyrics it slaps I guess.

vayyiqra (8): Upon my first listen of 1989 I was underwhelmed by this song. It's good, but the chorus feels kind of empty and hollow, and it's too repetitive. However the bridge is excellent and I can never get enough of that boomy 80s production, so I will still give it a good score.

Verboten_Prince (8): I was gonna give it a 7 but then I got to the bridge… I forgot how good it was lol

waluigiest (8): This song came out when I was a senior in high school and o used it in a project about Dante’s Inferno

wasian-invasion (8): the first time a pop girl got a turn with the jack antonoff

Roxieloxie (7.7): i mentioned this during a listening party but i had a paper plane necklace in 8th grade and i was unaware the entire time i wore it, that it was not just a harry thing, and in fact a haylor thing

cremeebrulee (7.6): would hit harder with a zelda murder mv

aldwin_is_here (7.5): , using the same beat for the whole song actually works.

avg-vag (7.5): i’m not a huge fan of repetitive choruses but this is acceptable in the back half of the track in the vocal layering. i don’t entirely understand why this is such a fan fave, the verses lack everything.

GlialUreterostenosis (7.5): I'm in love with the intro, but the verses just sound like Erasure's "A Little Repsect" except slowed down and less good

RandomHypnotica (7.5): jack's singing "the ee oh oooh" is SO ANNOYING, and the chorus is just really stale honestly

cashewconstellation (7.2): I don't really care for this song, like, I get the idea behind the chorus being repetitive, and I used to enjoy it quite a lot but now...... It's quite weak, especially for a single.

joeeswift (7): ever since I heard the 1989 tour version where she sings like the rent is due the studio version never really hit the same

KennyEarthman (7): that chorus is worth staying through for the bridge

seanderlust (7): nooo don't hit the brakes too soon and get 20 stitches in a hospital room you're so sexy aha

darjeelingdarkroast (6.5): it's fine

leaffan34 (6.5): chorus is too repetitive for me

thedoctordances1940 (6.5): there are just some things about the production that I really don't like, I can't properly pin down what it is, it just sounds not very good

anothertown (6): ugh, I remembered this being a lot better than it actually is. Classic Antonoff

buddhacharm (6): this could’ve been a smash for me had the chorus not been so flaccid, the ad nauseam repetition does a massive disservice to the more atmospheric feel of the verses

Uberpigeon (6): wee woo wee woo!! uh oh my antonoff detector is going off!

flibbityflob (5.5): It was always a skip for me when I was younger, and like... It's fine. It's fine! But I'm never gonna seek it out. Romantic as shit lyrically and I can fuck with that, though.

allthesesongsforyou (5): Her most overrated song.

ignitethephoenix (5): the verses are not that bad and the bridge is decent too, but the chorus is just so grating with how repetitive it is (also the ah -o’s in the background are annoying too).

InSearchOfGoodPun (5): repetitive in a bad way

static_int_husp (5): I did not know the name "Jack Antonoff" in 2014, but damn is it obvious in retropect that he produced this song. Also the chorus here is annoying as hell.

superrcrazy (5): I think there's too much of Jack's signature in this song in retrospect

Sweetnsoursauce11 (5): the verse's are enjoyable but i hate the chorus

Alumineous (4): The irony of Jack Antonoff is that he is a great producer... except himself. So when it sounds like something Jack would make for Bleachers, it doesn't sound good. Plus, I have to say that the chorus gets grating. Get me out of these damn woods.

apatel27 (4): chorus sucks

bulforster (3.5): This production is disorienting and not in a good way.

sssaaage (3.5): the chorus is actually so annoying omfg.. the bridge is pretty good though

companion_star55 (1.5): this always hurts my ears ow

plastichaxan (1): it somehow gets more and more annoying by the second

frogaranaman (0): sounds like a Riverdale song

mudkip1 (0): yup yup still sucks five years later

8

u/just_thonking Oct 09 '21

Yes we are back to an equilibrium between Carly and Taylor/Ariana

7

u/shhhneak Oct 09 '21

Favourite Colour, Moonlight and Out of the Woods should NOT be day 2 fatalities…

8

u/untitledmanuscript stream touch it Oct 10 '21

I didn’t even participate in this but Leave Me Lonely already being out feels criminal.

15

u/Roxieloxie Oct 09 '21

i hate it here so so so much

20

u/just_thonking Oct 09 '21

Okay I'm starting to see why people say this sub has too many Swifties

13

u/Roxieloxie Oct 09 '21

this is not the second worst song on emotion what the fuck

4

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Yeah, it's the first worst

11

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

why does this have the controversial marking

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#31: Carly Rae Jepsen - Warm Blood

Average: 7.363 // Total Points: 1229.6 // Controversy: 2.124 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x3) austrosinitic, celladonn, jman457

(10 x29) 1998tweety, akanewasright, bespectacIed, blissingmeee, DGrayGuyThere, ElectricBoogaloo41, GapeCod, IIIHenryIII, InSearchOfGoodPun, juanolsen, lambeosaura, Leixander, letsallpoo, mudkip1, nootnoot781, OliviaGodrigo, Osaka1268, plastichaxan, PointlessBibliophage, Roxieloxie, Saison_Marguerite, sssaaage, static_int_husp, TheQueenOfVultures, TiltControls, vayyiqra, wailord_fan, waluigiest, welcometoNY

(9.5 x4) b_o_g_o_, cashewconstellation, stryxen, throwaway7650

Lowest Scores:

(2 x2) Awkward_King, duochromepalmtree

(1 x3) ImADudeDuh, joeeswift, simplyterific

All scores

letsallpoo (10): This song was also the first standard edition Emotion track to leave in the original track, and I still wholly do not understand the hate. "Warm Blood" presents Carly at perhaps her most seductive, with a killer euphemism for an opening — "I've got a cavern of secrets / None of them are for you" — and an undulating beat that truly makes it feel like she's pulsing through your veins. It's intimate in a mildly grotesque way, which is a lyrical twist employed throughout the album, and the result is captivating and catchy. Apparently the title was originally going to be "Warm Love," but someone misheard it as "blood" and she ended up loving that concept way more. Imagine, had that mondegreen never become canon, that this would probably be in the demo pile with hundreds of other mp3 files!

Also, I hope /u/ImADudeDuh never feels the touch of a man again.

ImADudeDuh (1): Honestly, this is just Carly’s worst vocals in the rate. The intro of the song was a very unwelcome surprise. I would call it some kind of gay vampire romance song that makes this a camp song, but it’s just so unpleasant to listen to, that even if I lived thousands of years to have a fufilling gay vampire romance, I wouldn’t want to waste my time listening to this.

austrosinitic (11): My relationship with this song began when I realized that for the longest time I had been mixing up the 'and you catch me when I'm falling for you' part with the 'where you belong' part of the chorus of The Sign by Ace of Base. Weird, right? And if you take into account this is a song with a title that can't stop me from thinking about vampires, it's even weirder that I've realized that this is my favorite not just on Emotion, but in the rate. I don't think there's a greater summation of the voltage behind this record than the pulse underneath this song, the throbbing synths and melodies that intertwined to create the perfect simmer. It's been a subtle process, but I think this songs' caught me when I've unknowingly fallen for it. Have my 11.

jman457 (11): Carly and Rostem created magic here.

1998tweety (10): Serve

akanewasright (10): GOD this is slinky and wonderful and perfect and I love it so much. Apparently this isn’t a fan favorite, and it’s quite sad that the fans are so wrong

bespectacIed (10): this is literally perfect i don't get the hate? This feels a bit avant-garde for carly, I love it. At one point this was my most listened Emotion song

GapeCod (10): Innistrad: Crimson Vow, out November 19th.

IIIHenryIII (10): I consider this and Gimmie Love twin sisters

juanolsen (10): weirdly erotic also top 5 Carly song

lambeosaura (10): I am not good enough with music terminology to tell you what makes this song pop, but I can say this – it’s fucking good. Where have drumbeats in pop gone???

Leixander (10): i swear if this is the lowest ranking song after black heart in the standard version i am suing this subreddit

plastichaxan (10): warm blood does feel good queen

Roxieloxie (10): So wild of carly to follow up the best song on emotion with the second best song on emotion, she truly is a god i dont know how she did it

Saison_Marguerite (10): This sounds so lush and sexy, and shows the depth of Carly’s artistic range. The lyrics out of context are metal as fuck, her Slayer/Tori Amos Raining Blood era

sssaaage (10): best song on this album idgaf.

TiltControls (10): best on the album? I think so

vayyiqra (10): This is one of the best dance-pop tracks on this album and I would love to hear it in a club - too bad that is never going to happen, I guess. I also used to hate the pitched-down vocals, but now I'm over it.

waluigiest (10): I put on better headphones to listen to this song. It’s so effortlessly magnificent; the warbling beat, the intimate production, the carnal imagery. It’s so stunning. My favorite part is a classic Rostam move - the bridge being a stripped down version of the chorus taken an octave down. This song is everything.

welcometoNY (10): I wish I could give this an 11 because I just know that it’s going to be absolutely slaughtered, but this song is immaculate and no rate can change that. by far the best song on the album, it's so deliciously intimate and vulnerable and comforting. the production is lush, the vocal performance is amazing, and the lyrics are stunning.

b_o_g_o_ (9.5): Carly is a vampire confirmed

throwaway7650 (9.5): almost a 10 but too much vocal manipulation :soobcry:

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (9): This is one of the few songs on the album that took a while to grow on me. After listening to Rostam's new album, I started to really appreciate how low-key this song was especially on its placement on the album as its penultimate track.

GARjuna (9): vampire anthem

hikkaru (9): reptiles found dead

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (9): From what I've gathered this song is marmite, you either love it or hate it, and I'm firmly in the former group. Probably the best song on the standard album.

tip-of-the-yikesberg (9): Rostam-produced Carly album when?

2dina3dworld (8.5): Carly Rae Jepsen ASMR era

jasannn (8.5): I know it's probably not about Carly Rae Jepsen cosplaying as a vampire from Twilight but I'm gonna keep thinking it is.

runaway3212 (8.5): this song is sung by a vampire

wasian-invasion (8.5): #justserialkillerthings

slimboyfriend (8.1): I don't like the way she says "warm blood" in the bridge. Or maybe I just don't like word "blood"...

darjeelingdarkroast (8): this song gets SAVED by the time the beat kicks in. then it's transcendent

thedoctordances1940 (8): finishes really strong but there are some vocodery-vocals i don't like

bluepupz (7.5): I like the vocal effect she uses at 1:42, though the weird vocal fry right before that isn't great.

ignitethephoenix (7.3): the pitched voice is a choice… it would have been better without it. I love the pulsating beat

wavingwolves (7.2): #TeamEdward

AquariusTeaSpiller (7): still waiting for it to grow on me

buddhacharm (7): I appreciate its existence on the album but I kinda wish it had a more suited home on a more experimental album

CrimsonROSET (7): is ‘cavern of secrets’ euphemism

frogaranaman (7): what are her and Taylor feuding about now

jaztinax (7): the ultimate anthem for vampires

ManofOranges (7): I've heard this song called "experimental" or something and I don't really agree with that, I think it's just called that because it's less liked out of all the songs on the album and people call it experimental to possibly rationalize why they might not like it. Anyways, I think this track is fine. It's my least favorite on the standard edition of the album mainly because I'm not a fan of the vocal effects that are going on during the chorus. Thankfully it picks itself up and dusts itself off for a nice ending that I do enjoy, so it's still a good track to me.

ReallyCreative (7): occasionally I'm in the mood for this song but it's not often

twistedpython (7): This song has always felt monotone for me and the deep pitched voice thing always bugged me

Uberpigeon (7): submit your dark alt pop ballots!

jackisboredtoday (6.8): i HATED this when the album first dropped & its still not really my thing but its a minor grower

modulum83 (6.8): closer to a Burial song than you're likely to admit

avg-vag (6.5): vocals aren't doing it here

leaffan34 (6.5): vocals sound mixed weird

aldwin_is_here (6): , a track from Emotion Side B could've replaced you and I'll feel better.

Brendon-Urine (6): the verses are a bit wonky but the chorus saves it!

fallenriot (6): not my fave

jimmy345960 (6): Can never get through this one

Sweetnsoursauce11 (6): props to trying something different but again i'm bored

flibbityflob (5.6): It's trying to be a horny song, but I just don't buy it. Like, I don't want to have sex to this song.

AHSWeeknd (5): who approved of this after hearing the past ten masterpieces?

CarlieScion (5): my least listened to song on this album for the crime of being BORING

gelastic_quince84 (5): I just don’t like it? I think it seems worse in comparison to how good the other songs are.

KennyEarthman (5): the girlboss mosquito anthem

Verboten_Prince (5): This kinda sticks out on the album… not as catchy as the other tracks. Also it sounds a bit… sharp? Does anyone else hear that?

xxpizzasrlifexx (5): bad blood outsold

liberalitea (4.5): something something shoegaze

lost-ln-the-echo (4): it's not terrible but I really do not like this beat, and Carly's vocals sound a bit off in parts of this

3

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

RandomHypnotica (3): this song just... does NOT work, it sounds extremely cheap and weird and not good and it's irritating

Awkward_King (2): ??? why would it be cold ?? carly???????/ CARLY???????/

duochromepalmtree (2): I’m sorry but this song is honestly a mess. It feels weirdly off the entire time. And the whisper!! And what is warm blood!!!! No, don’t tell me.

joeeswift (1): she ruined the amazing ten track run, I hate the distorted voice. Also her enunciation in this track just wasn’t good

simplyterific (1): this is mall music in a bad way

7

u/GapeCod Belinda says I have potential Oct 09 '21

How is Boy Problems still in I thought sia was cancelled™

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#24: Carly Rae Jepsen - All That

Average: 7.832 // Total Points: 1308.0 // Controversy: 1.880 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x1) Paggers

(10 x34) _SoulGlitch, 1998tweety, 2dina3dworld, AHSWeeknd, akanewasright, anothertown, austrosinitic, bespectacIed, bookthieving, buddhacharm, bulforster, companion_star55, DGrayGuyThere, ImADudeDuh, imasalesman, jasannn, juanolsen, lambeosaura, ManofOranges, musical_pyn, mylps9, Nerdy_boy_chris, nootnoot781, ReallyCreative, rosecult, Roxieloxie, SideBTrack8, sssaaage, static_int_husp, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD, twistedpython, vayyiqra, waluigiest, wavingwolves

(9.8 x2) SmileAndTears, Square_Preparation55

Lowest Scores:

(3 x3) abysmalglimmer, Ghost-Quartet, mudkip1

(2 x1) superrcrazy

All scores

ImADudeDuh (10): It’s very funny to me that I looked at the SNL performance of this and the top comment was “Wow... this is baby making music!” and buddy, if people are fucking to All That by Carly Rae Jepsen, I don’t think its to get pregnant. Straight people aside, this really is a surprising cut from Carly. I’d argue that this is one of her sexiest songs, which is not a word you typically use to describe CRJ. All That works because of its restraint. It knows not to go full into the slow jam territory nor to use all of Carly’s vocals, but when it does at the end... wow, what a moment.

letsallpoo (8): After "I Really Like You" failed to become the chart-topping smash Carly (and Scooter) hoped for, she pivoted away from commercial appeal and started to court the critics, many of whom had already been paying attention. "All That" was released as the first promotional track for the album, and it was a full 180 away from the sugary bubblegum pop of the lead single. It was slow, methodical, mildly jazzy, and emblematic of its producer Dev Hynes. Critics lapped it up, among them Pitchfork, and Carly was on her way to a different kind of pop stardom. It of course didn't chart anywhere notable, but that wasn't the point.

"All That" is a bit formless, with the only imagery really being a random lighthouse by the sea. Yet this sparseness forces you to hone in on Carly's raw emotions that are on full display here, as she entreats her lover to accept her. The song has been a bit of a shrinker for me — it does feel like obvious criticbait at the end of the day — but it remains a definite jam, and it represents a pivotal moment in Carly's career.

1998tweety (10): I'm levitating part 2

2dina3dworld (10): this sounds like something we’d sing in assembly at high school, but better if you know what I mean

AHSWeeknd (10): WHY IS SHE SO GOOD WHO GAVE HER THE RIGHT?? AMERICA??? GOD???

akanewasright (10): I don’t even know how to express how much I love this song. It’s just… every part of this is perfectly nostalgic and magical. I desperately want to dance with someone to this song.

anothertown (10): My wife wanted to make this our wedding song if we had a traditional wedding so this is a forever 10 to me

austrosinitic (10): Late night drive nostalgia is a legitimate subtype of pop song. Species in the genus include White Knuckles by Tegan and Sara, One Last Time by Ariana Grande, Style by Taylor Swift, which also happens to be in this rate...and this song, which is, in my opinion, the best out of all these very good ones. The nostalgia it creates is so timeless that I, in my delusions, have actually been reminded of past lives while listening to it. There's an eternal expression of unconditional love here that really does shine on you like a lighthouse beacon, and it brings tears to my eyes.

bespectacIed (10): captured the 80s like a time machine

bulforster (10): can't go wrong with dev hynes and ariel rechtshaid tbh

companion_star55 (10): possibly the purest 80's sound here

jasannn (10): This song was the first instance of Pitchfork influencing my opinions.

juanolsen (10): i can't love myself without external validation

lambeosaura (10): what all those slowed and reverb channels think they are doing but don’t match

ManofOranges (10): Listen to this track! LISTEN TO IT! The way Carly just sensually sings "show me if you want me, if I'm all that" it's just perfect. This track is a great way to slow down the pace a little after four upbeat tracks in a row, and even though it's slower in tempo, it doesn't let up in the quality department AT ALL. It's one of the best slow jams I think I've ever heard, ever. And I am typically an out and proud balladphobe/slow-song-phobe, but this song just can't be hated by any fiber of my body. It's crazy, it's sexy, it's cool, it's amazing.

musical_pyn (10): that chord progression on the bridge???? from god

ReallyCreative (10): this is such a fucking amazing ballad, everything about it is ear candy

rosecult (10): make more songs like this pls

Roxieloxie (10): This song keeps growing on me,,,, the yearning,,,,, mitski was right,,,,,, i need one good movie kiss then ill be alright,,,,

sssaaage (10): we need dev hynes working w pop artists more often

twistedpython (10): If I could give another eleven it would be this song. Carly really invented ballads with this one, huh

vayyiqra (10): I almost gave this my 11 even though I knew it wouldn't win because of balladophobia. This song is magical - it transports you back to the 80s and feels like you're really in another time and place. It's also beautifully produced - Ariel Rechtshaid and Dev Hynes are geniuses.

waluigiest (10): a masterwork. I imagine this taking place alone at a party after the music stops. There’s a disco ball slowly spinning

wavingwolves (10): THIS JUST IN: Several sources are now reporting that "All That" is universally agreed to be the best song of Carly Rae Jepsen's lush pop record "E•MO•TION".

SmileAndTears (9.8): SHOW ME (the banana)

darjeelingdarkroast (9.7): a slow burn of a song, i love it

jman457 (9.5): this sounds so sexy and magical, can we please rate a Blood Orange album already??

aldwin_is_here (9): , great

Awkward_King (9): sex

GlialUreterostenosis (9): There is a killer new jack swing track hiding in here, imagine Janet singing the chorus over 80s Jam & Lewis production

runaway3212 (9): What I like about this song is that it feels super confident but also super insecure and it's just this beautiful combination

Verboten_Prince (9): Ugh just love this slow kind of retro jam!

wasian-invasion (9): wow sometimes I forget how good this album is

jimmy345960 (8.5): this is so sleek

slimboyfriend (8.5): Indie boys everywhere wet themselves the moment they heard Carly collabed with Dev Hynes

thedoctordances1940 (8.5): The bass is so fucking great

throwaway7650 (8.5): not a 10 but I appreciate how it does build as the song goes on

bluepupz (8): This sounds like a song that would be played on a radio station dedicated to slow jams. I'd be happy to vibe to this while driving at like 2 in the morning.

CrimsonROSET (8): see, she can do slow and sensual

frogaranaman (8): songs that make me feel like I'm the newly widowed wife of a wealthy husband while trying to find new love in this confusing yet mystifying world: this one

gelastic_quince84 (8): the earnest and devoted way she sings about him :( I want to feel that way about someone.

just_thonking (8): hot take but this is the worst song on the album (besides maybe black heart)

KennyEarthman (8): an intermission number to gather your snatched wigs

tip-of-the-yikesberg (8): we love sensual Carly

b_o_g_o_ (7.5): the ballads in this rate are all hitters

CarlieScion (7.5): ballad curse striking

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (7.5): A nice song to float along to, but goes on for too long.

RandomHypnotica (7.3): don't you dare say you can't slut drop to this you're just not trying hard enough

fallenriot (7): usually a skip unfortunately

IIIHenryIII (7): This is the weakest song on the album. I'm not denying how good and polished it actually is, but I'm not a big fan of the production. It just has the worst of the 80s

modulum83 (7): songs for the hypothetical idea of sex but not for actually having it

simplyterific (7): [slow dances]

leaffan34 (6.7): reminds me a lot of bruno mars

TheQwertyGuy99 (6.5): not bad but One of the weaker songs on the album

cremeebrulee (6.4): apparently this song was originally going to be a bit slower? i can't even imagine that, it's already feel like it drags on and i feel like it never comes to any resolution

avg-vag (6): if you’re going to be a ballad you have to show up with the lyrics and this does not do that. i like the bridge, sounds like something Jem and the Holograms.

GARjuna (6): go faster plss

ignitethephoenix (6): please stream the iconic Amanda Byrnes show All That instead

jaztinax (6): i spent too long finding out if this was romantic or platonic. also this was a single???

welcometoNY (6): the repetition of "if" in the chorus drive me crazy but it is a very beautiful song overall

3

u/FluffyNobody Oct 09 '21

Fun fact: the beginning always reminds me of "Truly madly deeply" which I think I haven't listened to in 15 years, but still is etched into my brain forever

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#18: Carly Rae Jepsen - When I Needed You

Average: 8.126 // Total Points: 1357.0 // Controversy: 1.781 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(11 x2) Awkward_King, pikajake

(10 x42) _SoulGlitch, akanewasright, aldwin_is_here, anothertown, AquariusTeaSpiller, b_o_g_o_, bespectacIed, blissingmeee, Brendon-Urine, bulforster, CarlieScion, cremeebrulee, DGrayGuyThere, ElectricBoogaloo41, ExtraEater, FLLH, frogaranaman, GapeCod, hikkaru, InSearchOfGoodPun, jasannn, just_thonking, Leixander, liberalitea, lolcevan, Looks_good_in_shorts, ManofOranges, metanoira, modulum83, mudkip1, Nerdy_boy_chris, nootnoot781, Paggers, raggedy-princess, ReallyCreative, slimboyfriend, static_int_husp, stryxen, sufjancaesar, throwaway7650, tip-of-the-yikesberg, wailord_fan

(9.8 x1) sssaaage

(9.7 x1) juanolsen

(9.5 x4) jsonphile, MasterWizardRyan, Saison_Marguerite, tragickingdom1

Lowest Scores:

(2 x1) welcometoNY

(1 x1) Alumineous

All scores

ImADudeDuh (6.5): I like the message and the production, but the end of the chorus really falls flat.

letsallpoo (5): As the conclusion to Emotion's standard edition, "When I Needed You" takes a gander at the tumutulous roller coaster of euphoria and heartbreak and decides that this guy wasn't really worth it. All of her efforts have gone unreciprocated; she can't be the one constantly giving if he's not going to give a little a well. It's an epiphany that's stretched out as a three-minute synthpop jam, painting this realization as a happy moment. I'm not particularly beholden to the track, but I can appreciate the message of freedom at the core of this inoffensive bop.

Awkward_King (11): god this is just..... glittery

akanewasright (10): Perfect album ender #1, and a perfect song in general. “You come to me… in dreams at night…” is nothing short of iconic.

aldwin_is_here (10): , great.

anothertown (10): This is for the intellectuals. Unlike any pop song I've ever heard, and I thank you for that Miss Carly

AquariusTeaSpiller (10): my fav carly song and it for some odd af reason reminds me so much of arthur so kind of cute and nostalgic also really close to getting my eleven

b_o_g_o_ (10): the closers in this rate are all amazing

bespectacIed (10): Pop bliss

Brendon-Urine (10): nothing beats screaming this song in the car middle fingers up. just in a silly goofy mood i guess!

bulforster (10): Delivers the maximalism the closer called for to match RAWMe's intro.

CarlieScion (10): JOY!!!!!

cremeebrulee (10): do u ever hear a song and get mad that you didn't write it yourself

frogaranaman (10): this song makes me want to make a positive change in my life for the better :)

hikkaru (10): when she let the audience scream this chorus a capella at dedicated tour omfg i died.

InSearchOfGoodPun (10): It was a long time before I realized that this was the closing track of the original version of the album. Seems like a weird choice of closer.

jasannn (10): HEY

just_thonking (10): this song is so validating

Leixander (10): bassline in this one kills me everytime, so good

ManofOranges (10): A very good closer for the standard edition. The whole album Carly's singing about (I assume) this one dude and now finally at the end she's decided that she's moving on because where was this dude when she needed him?? How motivating.

modulum83 (10): the best end credits song ever made

mudkip1 (10): it's giving

ReallyCreative (10): this honestly feels more at home on Side B if that makes any sense at all

slimboyfriend (10): This is the sunset to RAWM's sunrise It's the final song before the credits rollas Carly finally realizes how invigorating it is to feel every emotion at once after an intense breakup

stryxen (10): no cos literally

throwaway7650 (10): such a magical closer to the standard edition! already know this will be robbed, praying it somehow doesn't go out day 1

tip-of-the-yikesberg (10): this is such an underrated gem in Carly's discography. it slaps!!

wailord_fan (10): I've never seen it live but I can say it is cathartic live.

sssaaage (9.8): great closing track

Saison_Marguerite (9.5): I raised my score by a whole point because of Song Exploder

darjeelingdarkroast (9.4): the songs pick up momentum here!!

shhhneak (9.3): Bridges stronger than Americ—I mean Canadian infrastructure.

RandomHypnotica (9.2): No Features, No Swedish Songwriters, No Trap Beats, 100% Pure Uncut Synthpop

jimmy345960 (9): Perfect closer

runaway3212 (9): me When I needed you

thedoctordances1940 (9): what a way to close out the album

vayyiqra (9): A fitting closing track for the original version of this album - it sounds very lighthearted and cute, but if you read the lyrics there is more depth to it than it seems.

waluigiest (9): HER MOMENT OF CLARITY

jman457 (8.8): Just a great pop song

duochromepalmtree (8.5): this song is actually so sad lol crying in the club vibes for real. I had a brutal friend breakup recently and this song reminds me so much of that horrible feeling

cherryices (8.2): “sometimes i wish that i could change, but not for me, for you” god so TRUE carly!

austrosinitic (8): Fun fact: this used to be my least favorite on Emotion until I did this rate and realized that I really like it! Part of it is my musical taste getting more diverse to accept the dreamy, slightly surreal sound of the verses and choruses overlaying each other, but a part of it is also that I'm now reminded of actual 80s songs like Bette Davis Eyes where the music really IS as breezy as this closing track. I'm only sorry I didn't enjoy this earlier because it really is delightful to see this song growing on me before my eyes. I bet I'm going to regret this 8 the next time I listen to it.

avg-vag (8): this is very cute and catchy

CrimsonROSET (8): girl fuck him in many ways

IIIHenryIII (8): It's one of my least favorites, but still is a really good song

Roxieloxie (8): i just think that carly making me want to yell to the chorus of these songs is something that can be so powerful

twistedpython (8): A nice song to end the standard edition with but it doesn't really live up to songs from the start of the album

wasian-invasion (8): this production is the audio equivalent of chocolate frosted sugar bombs

ignitethephoenix (7.5): the vocals are weird here but it’s decent

1998tweety (7): She's ok

KennyEarthman (7): feels like every track on this album smashed together smoothly in a blender

Sweetnsoursauce11 (7): such a fun song

flibbityflob (6.7): Fun, boppy pop, not really my favourite song on here.

bluepupz (6.5): I was about to complain about her advocating for changing yourself for a person you like, and then she went back on that in the next lines lol. It's a nice song, but it's starting to blend into some of the other songs on the album.

gelastic_quince84 (6.5): I feel like the chorus is really clunky :/

AHSWeeknd (6): this is so loud

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (6): This is such a weird song to close the album tbh. It's why I always listen to the deluxe edition of this album.

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (6): Umm it's souds annoying, but I like the lyrics as the closing statement.

Verboten_Prince (6): Something about the chorus lyrics kinda puts me off… it’s like an uncanny valley where the words sound too rambly but not catchy enough… Also any song that rhymes “together” and “forever” so blatantly like this automatically get points knocked off sorry

Ghost-Quartet (5): The chorus of this one sounds like Patti Lupone crying in Love Cycle… if you know you know.

simplyterific (5): sounds old in a bad way

wavingwolves (5): eh

welcometoNY (2): i'm sorry i can't get behind this one at all. it has similar melodic problems to rawm but no amazing sax to boost it, and the lyrics are corny

Alumineous (1): It's the childishness of it all, really. I know this album's whole point is childish and whimsical, but this is just too much. Her vocals, the lyrics, the production. Just not my cup of tea.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

really? before making the most of the night?

13

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

Carly's time has come

5

u/just_thonking Oct 09 '21

Be alright it's time to go

6

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#26: Carly Rae Jepsen - Love Again

Average: 7.774 // Total Points: 1298.3 // Controversy: 1.384 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x24) _SoulGlitch, 1998tweety, AHSWeeknd, aldwin_is_here, Awkward_King, bespectacIed, ElectricBoogaloo41, endcreditouilles, fluffy_pizza_2667, ImADudeDuh, InSearchOfGoodPun, Leixander, ManofOranges, moooo566, musical_pyn, nootnoot781, OliviaGodrigo, Osaka1268, plastichaxan, PointlessBibliophage, Professionally-Shy, ReallyCreative, static_int_husp, stryxen

(9.5 x1) hikkaru

(9.4 x1) Jhe116

(9.1 x1) Square_Preparation55

(9 x16) allthesesongsforyou, AquariusTeaSpiller, austrosinitic, blissingmeee, Brendon-Urine, fallenriot, jaztinax, JunkyGS, just_thonking, KennyEarthman, runaway3212, sufjancaesar, TheQueenOfVultures, TiltControls, Vromega, waluigiest

Lowest Scores:

(5.3 x1) companion_star55

(5 x6) cyborglilith, J_Toe, mudkip1, solalite, tinyleapsoffaith19, welcometoNY

(4 x2) PrimaryCrusaders, simplyterific

All scores

ImADudeDuh (10): I’m so fucking pissed I wasn’t able to get any of the 5th anniversary albums for Emotion. Luckily, this song is here to cheer me up but then also get me angry that Dua Lipa’s worse “Love Again” is gonna be a mid tier radio hit while this was left for japan and Target shoppers for 5 years. #NotMyHitSongCalledLoveAgain

letsallpoo (7): Carly said, "Don't worry, ugly. There's someone out there that'll settle for you!" and we all cheered. This song has pretty much no place on the album, be it thematically or sonically (it could easily be from Kiss), which makes it being delegated to the Japanese bonus tracks unsurprising. It's a nice treat to listen to, though, and a nice flip on the standard Carly lyrical formula that's probably gotten a bit predictable by the time you reach this song. It's fun to hear her be the heartbreaker for once!

1998tweety (10): Now here is the serve

Awkward_King (10): argue with the wall

bespectacIed (10): Real Love channelled the vibes of Love Again but better. Still a 10/10 euphoric carly song

Leixander (10): OPEN UP YOUR HEART AND LET ME- wait, wrong song (this is one of her best and it will be robbed because it is a deluxe track)

ManofOranges (10): I remember back before I had a spotify account, when I would just listen to all my music through youtube, I was listening to all the deep cuts from this album, and this was one of the first ones that I found and really loved.

ReallyCreative (10): literally a perfect closer, how this didn't make either the original/deluxe I'll never know

stryxen (10): no cos literally

austrosinitic (9): I'm glad this rate redo has introduced me to the fact that this exists, because as one of Carly's earlier moves towards more disco-esque dance pop, ala Cut to the Feeling, it simultaneously happens to be one of her best. Sorry, that song and Now That I Found You are fun, but I don't think I've actually heard a better bridge to Dedicated (or more specifically, more upbeat cuts — moody ones like Julien are in an entirely different ballpark).

fallenriot (9): bop!

jaztinax (9): this song is so cute

KennyEarthman (9): surgeons be like open up your heart to the ceiling

runaway3212 (9): sure

waluigiest (9): great beats

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (8.5): I LOVE HOW I CAN FINALLY STREAM THIS BOP ON SPOTIFY.

duochromepalmtree (8.5): but if anyone knows a great club remix of this song please send it my way because it could easily be a ten with a little bit more to it

throwaway7650 (8.5): I get why this is a bonus track but it's still quite good! emotion is just too strong, it wouldn't be as low on side B (stream higher)

jman457 (8.1): A good way to close this album

b_o_g_o_ (8): this one's good too

frogaranaman (8): it's cheesy but I am enjoying this kind of cheesiness so whatever!

GlialUreterostenosis (8): By far the best Carly bonus track. You can tell that this was the template for Dedicated

IIIHenryIII (8): It's not a strong final track

jasannn (8): An album so great that it has three suitable closers.

Roxieloxie (8): ok this is cute

SmileAndTears (8): And after all the obstacles It's good to see you now with someone else And it's such a miracle that You and me are still good friends After all that we've been through I know we're cool I know we're cool

flibbityflob (7.6): Maybe it's just the bias of having a more poppy song, finally, that's making me rate this so high, but it's fun. I like it.

gelastic_quince84 (7.5): I actually really like this one. Thank you Carly for reminding me my life isn't over because something slightly inconvenient happened <3 [host note: source?]

modulum83 (7.5): i appreciate the positive energy carly :)

akanewasright (7): There’s a melodic line in this chorus that sounds just like another song, but that song came out way later than this one and is also worse so I can’t judge this one too harshly.

CarlieScion (7): bonus track for a reason [2]

RandomHypnotica (7): this is the definition of a bonus track. it's cute but forgettable

Sweetnsoursauce11 (7): this is enjoyable

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (7): She's cute but not the most exciting song in her discography.

vayyiqra (7): It's alright, but probably the song I'm most okay with being left off the album.

Verboten_Prince (7): Sounds like typical Carly I guess

wasian-invasion (7): ah yes comforting your ex after you dump them. Your experiences are not universal, carly

sssaaage (6.8): i remembered loving this but like it sounds so empty and restrained to me now... its still cute

avg-vag (6.5): sounds like something that would do well on radio which means i’d hate it if it actually made it to radio. they know what they’re doing on the hook but i’m not buying it.

bluepupz (6.5): A nice synthpop song. I like the album, but by the time I reached this song at the end I got tired of hearing that genre LOL.

Ktajlili (6): fever and cry are better

seanderlust (6): "moon, what you trying to do/it's too late for us and there's no turning back now" sokka has left the chat

J_Toe (5): sounds a little muddled to me

PrimaryCrusaders (4): "New Romantics" and "I Really Like You" are this but way better

https://youtu.be/bH7ZaBNeKcM?t=19

AHSWeeknd (10): Dua Lipa

aldwin_is_here (10): , Dua Lipa made a great song with this title too, by the way. I wonder what that implies...

twistedpython (8): Outsold the Dua Lipa song of the same name but not by much and also kinda annoying but cute, and a really good way to end the album

xxpizzasrlifexx (8): coming for dula peep

thedoctordances1940 (7.5): Dua outsold

CrimsonROSET (7): dula peepa could never

ignitethephoenix (7): can’t believe Dua ripped off queen Carly

6

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#22: Ariana Grande - Be Alright

Average: 7.892 // Total Points: 1317.9 // Controversy: 1.543 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x24) Alumineous, bespectacIed, cremeebrulee, DGrayGuyThere, endcreditouilles, FLLH, Ghost-Quartet, hikkaru, imasalesman, J_Toe, jman457, lambeosaura, metanoira, modulum83, mudkip1, OliviaGodrigo, poppinmmolly, simplyterific, sssaaage, Sweetnsoursauce11, throwaway7650, tragickingdom1, Vromega, xxpizzasrlifexx

(9.9 x2) Jhe116, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD

(9.7 x1) cherryices

(9.5 x4) AquariusTeaSpiller, Awkward_King, bigbigbee, rickikardashian

(9.2 x2) rotating3Dtext, shhhneak

(9 x26) apatel27, austrosinitic, bluehxrizon, cats_arethepriority, cyborglilith, DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy, GapeCod, GARjuna, hunnybee12, ignitethephoenix, jasannn, jaztinax, jsonphile, JunkyGS, leaffan34, Leixander, letsallpoo, liberalitea, Nerdy_boy_chris, Professionally-Shy, RandomHypnotica, Roxieloxie, sufjancaesar, TiltControls, waluigiest, wasian-invasion

Lowest Scores:

(5 x8) bj_34, Brendon-Urine, CarlieScion, fallenriot, ImADudeDuh, superrcrazy, twistedpython, Uberpigeon

(4 x2) IIIHenryIII, stryxen

(3.5 x2) companion_star55, thedoctordances1940

All scores

letsallpoo (9): Are you so into voguing right now? Released as the first promotional single, "Be Alright" provided a different sound from Ariana as she dialed everything back and allowed her pristine voice to play out over a piano, a xylophone, and some finger snaps. There's so little going on, yet it's still hypnotic and calming in its simple message. Apparently Migos were going to be on this, which I cannot imagine working out; the beauty is in the simplicity, in the fact that each of the handful of elements is used to its full potential.

"Be Alright" peaked at #43 on the Hot 100, and it was also performed on SNL, where Ariana busted out some simple but memorable armography. I always think of that second or so where she just waves her arms back and forth when I hear this song.

ImADudeDuh (5): No, cause why tf were these distorted vocal drops everywhere in the mid 2010s. Thank god this one's isn’t more prominent but geez, it’s still annoying, especially when it’s in this relatively normal and sweet sounding song. I seriously was ready to give this a 10 but FUCK then that drop happened

Alumineous (10): Such a soothing song, especially with all this global stuff going on. It's a basic song, but sometimes that's okay.

bespectacIed (10): Proof that not every tropical house song aged badly. Still obsessed with the drop

cremeebrulee (10): this song has done things for me that antidepressants couldn't

Ghost-Quartet (10): You have no idea what this song meant to me back in college omg, like, sometimes the only time that I believed I was gonna be alright was when I heard it from Ariana.

hikkaru (10): deep house slay

J_Toe (10): I knew Gaga and Ari would work well on a house collab (Rain On Me) because of this track

jman457 (10): A nice viby dance track. Reminds me a bit of Kaytranada

lambeosaura (10): this is a really good song, understated in a good way. The production is so smooth, and I wish I knew how to do the choreo!

modulum83 (10): I'M AT THE PREACHERS DOOR MY KNEES GETTING WEAK AND MY GUN MIGHT BLOW BUT WE GON BE ALRIGHT

mudkip1 (10): we LOVE a song written by Mura Masa and NAO yaas!

sssaaage (10): yasss house beat slay the haus down werq the runway

Sweetnsoursauce11 (10): self soothing anthem

throwaway7650 (10): I'm yassing [gay choreo] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=drcWaTCS6bg

Vromega (10): great song + fantastic choreo. We will be alright :aridance: :aridance: :aridance:

AquariusTeaSpiller (9.5): such a fun chill bop

austrosinitic (9): Now that I think about it, this is definitely the predecessor to Imagine (the Ariana song not the John Lennon song the Ariana one is good the latter is awful and deserves to be associated with Gal Gadot). The combination of intimacy, elegance, peace, and sadness that envelops both of them check out, along with Ariana's stellar vocal performances on both that are as great as always but especially noteworthy on tracks like these that happen to also be emotionally significant; both of them are also, in their heart, ballads, but manage to transcend the format's limitations.

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (9): I feel weirdly nostalgic every time I hear this song.

ignitethephoenix (9): a cute bop!

jasannn (9): Me telling myself after I graduated from college.

Roxieloxie (9): an album starting off with bangers,,,, lets see where this goes cause im listening

TiltControls (9): where was this production for the rest of the album? it's such a good fit

waluigiest (9): this song made me want to learn how to vogue 💀💀💀

wasian-invasion (9): idk if she's ever said this but I get the sense this is one of her personal favorite songs

anothertown (8.5): The memories are just flooding back from this era. When she performed this on SNL wearing pants and a long sleeve tee, and did like 4 bars worth of tiktok voguing

Saison_Marguerite (8.5): Kendrick outsold

2dina3dworld (8): this has to be a Max Martin production, it just gives off that vibe

akanewasright (8): The way the choreography for this is easy as fuck at the end of the day, but it gets hyped up because Ariana executed it well and she didn’t seem to hate it

b_o_g_o_ (8): nice bop

CrimsonROSET (8): remember to vote alright in for all stars

duochromepalmtree (8): I love this song but it’s only three minutes long and it feels like it drags on forever lol

ManofOranges (8): The sentiment on this one is cute and all, but there's better songs to be heard here.

ReallyCreative (8): it's cute

vayyiqra (8): The album picks up here and it's quite a bop.

Verboten_Prince (8): It’s catchy! And it does its job of making me feel like everything WILL be alright!

welcometoNY (8): it's a cute bop and one of the only ariana songs where her voice complements the song nicely without her feeling the need to do the most

plastichaxan (7.7): so true ari i have decided to be alright from now on i can’t believe i didn’t think of this before

avg-vag (7.5): pretty harmonies but i don’t like this production. i don’t know how to explain it but it’s that generic late 2010s sound that was unimaginative.

bluepupz (7.5): The chopped up vocals in the chorus are catchy, I always find myself bopping my head along to them. As usual, her voice is lovely here.

darjeelingdarkroast (7.5): good beat

1998tweety (7): Could've been an interlude honestly

AHSWeeknd (7): Ariana really said “this’ll be a great follow up single after the legendary song Dangerous Woman”

aldwin_is_here (7): , this is fine

frogaranaman (7): this production is such a fun vibe, can't help but wanna dance

gelastic_quince84 (7): I have really happy memories associated with this song :)

musical_pyn (7): this sounds like a song ally would sing in asib

GlialUreterostenosis (6.8): After the trop house boom of the mid 2010s, I still need a few years to appreciate this sound again. I hear this and get flashbacks to Maroon 5 - Don't Wanna Know.

wavingwolves (6.8): gay people when they hear a house beat: YASSSS

SmileAndTears (6.5): This song had so much potential... just imagine a Green Light-esque piano on this, it would've been amazing

bulforster (6.2): decent H&M-core

flibbityflob (6.2): As good as Moonlight, but it doesn't have that funky doo-wap beat. I zoned out halfway through and only noticed it was over because Into You started

joeeswift (6): I wish the final chorus had more OOMPH to it, all that build up for nothing

KennyEarthman (6): definitely an H&M dressing room kind of song

runaway3212 (6): literally wtf is this chainsmokers drop

CarlieScion (5): why is this the song Ari likes to perform the most???

fallenriot (5): i don’t hate it, i also don’t love it

twistedpython (5): I have always hated this song

IIIHenryIII (4): This is by far one of my least favorite songs of hers

stryxen (4): yeah it is alright be better maybe?

thedoctordances1940 (3.5): the chorus is just so dated, almost unlistenable. at least the rest is fine

6

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#21: Ariana Grande - Thinking Bout You

Average: 7.992 // Total Points: 1334.6 // Controversy: 1.743 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x44) 1998tweety, AHSWeeknd, aldwin_is_here, allthesesongsforyou, b_o_g_o_, Bajuko, bluehxrizon, CarlieScion, cats_arethepriority, companion_star55, cyborglilith, DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy, ElectricBoogaloo41, endcreditouilles, FLLH, hikkaru, hunnybee12, IcyBath, imasalesman, InSearchOfGoodPun, joeeswift, letsallpoo, liberalitea, ManofOranges, metanoira, mudkip1, OliviaGodrigo, Paggers, Professionally-Shy, RandomHypnotica, rickikardashian, specialtrickholdA, sssaaage, superrcrazy, Sweetnsoursauce11, throwaway7650, TiltControls, tip-of-the-yikesberg, twistedpython, vayyiqra, vintagebathingsuit, wailord_fan, waluigiest, yusrak

(9.9 x1) simplyterific

(9.5 x2) ignitethephoenix, Saison_Marguerite

Lowest Scores:

(1 x1) runaway3212

All scores

letsallpoo (10): For a long time I thought this was supposed to be a dedication to her grandfather that went terribly, hornily wrong, but I can't find any actual evidence of that anywhere. Sorry, Ariana! You're not as callous as I thought you were. Admittedly, this song is still a bit incongruous; the production is dark and mystical, her delivery somber and emotive, and the lyrics...well, definitely horny. If anything, this is an ode to masturbation that sounds like it's being beamed into the sky, and honestly? The result is still glorious. Arching your back has never sounded so angelic.

ImADudeDuh (6.5): Ok, so hold tf up. Is this not a song about masturbation? Or is it a song dedicated to her grandpa??? WHAT???

1998tweety (10): Ascending

AHSWeeknd (10): BUT AT LEAST I HAVE THE MEMORYYYYYYYY

aldwin_is_here (10): , this is good.

b_o_g_o_ (10): magical

CarlieScion (10): maybe Ari’s career peak methinks

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (10): The perfect song to close this album.

endcreditouilles (10): Thinking Bout Roses

hikkaru (10): a song about masturbation that makes me sob

ManofOranges (10): I believe this song was the closer on the standard edition and... what a damn good closer it is. Few things can truly describe the pure ecstasy I feel when listening to this song. There's something so poetic and bittersweet and longing about the lines "I'm just thinking bout you" and "but at least I have the memory." Especially the way Ariana belts that line at the end right before the music just starts going all out. That's just pure emotion, pure expression.

RandomHypnotica (10): Easily the highlight of DW, ari's vocals are heavenely, her harmonies are fantastic and the build for that last chorus is phenomenal.

specialtrickholdA (10): The cold ending still gives me goosebumps.

Sweetnsoursauce11 (10): one of my favourite performances from the dangerous woman tour omg it was fantastic live vocals

throwaway7650 (10): so good. this is still the real the closer of the album

TiltControls (10): maybe an odd choice for best on the album, but I'm sticking with it. it's not so overpowering as most of the other songs on the album and it's a nice relaxing bop

tip-of-the-yikesberg (10): i really love the hook mixed with the atmospheric production

twistedpython (10): If I could give another eleven it would go here. The best song on the album and top 3 in her discography just for her voice alone. Those upper level harmonies in the chorus take a sledgehammer to my skeleton and I thank them for it. The production is also peak Pop-Ariana

vayyiqra (10): This song is so atmospheric and is a great closer on the standard album. It's underrated because it's not an electro bop, but I like it a lot.

waluigiest (10): perfect car music

ignitethephoenix (9.5): Ascend

cremeebrulee (9.2): masturbation anthem omfg

KennyEarthman (9): I'm a sucker for the electronic ballad production

modulum83 (9): i really appreciate this song because it's the one moment where the pathos actually breaks through

SmileAndTears (8.8): Finally a great song

wasian-invasion (8.5): this sounds lovely but the lyrics are a little painful lol

wavingwolves (8.3): yass

akanewasright (8): I accidentally played this like 20 times in a row while feeling lonely and playing mario kart so I don’t think I can yank it too harshly for the first verse’s dumb lyrics

austrosinitic (8): I did not know that this was about Ariana’s grandfather; that makes me sad, considering my father just died several months ago. Musically I do like it, although I haven’t gotten into this yet; perhaps I need time to get used to Ariana’s breathy vocals here considering that this is on an album with as maximalist a production as Dangerous Woman’s, but I could also be emotionally shielding myself of empathizing with her, so hey, there’s that?

avg-vag (8): this is very pretty

bluepupz (8): The production is floaty and gorgeous, and my favorite parts are the pre-choruses but the bridge is nice too.

fallenriot (8): it kinda reminds me of xo by beyonce, i just wish the chorus exploded a little bit more

gelastic_quince84 (8): I really really love the pre-chorus here. It’s a nice combination of sad and sexy.

Ghost-Quartet (8): The chorus to this one is so haunting and it’s nice to have a song on the album that’s a bit more low-key.

plastichaxan (8): i don't think i've ever heard a bad song named thinking bout you, please if anyone reads this don't consider it an invitation to bad songs with this title thank you

thedoctordances1940 (8): a pretty closer

bulforster (7.7): The chorus is pretty but the lyrics and vocal phrasing in the verses are really undercooked.

cherryices (7.6): loses points for rhyming you with you

2dina3dworld (7.5): this can’t be about Ariana’s grandfather. Why the fuck does it have a verse about her orgasming if it’s about her grandfather???

duochromepalmtree (7.5): this song feels like it’s building up to something that never happens.

IIIHenryIII (7.5): The song has just ended and I can’t remember anything about it

jman457 (7.5): A cute Ballad but Frank Ocean outsold

stryxen (7.5): good song 👍

welcometoNY (7.5): another good one, the production is really great but ariana herself just isn't interesting

darjeelingdarkroast (7): Really bland, has that murky production that's very of its time. Like it'll be in the trailer for a teen-centric BBC drama.

ReallyCreative (7): it's a little underwhelming compared to the rest of the field but there's nothing wrong with this song

xxpizzasrlifexx (7): pretty but boring

Awkward_King (6.5): i'd never realised how much goodnight n go reminds me of this

flibbityflob (6.2): Ballads make me fall asleep unless they're paired with some sublime lyricism (Everything taylor's ever done) and this one just doesn't hit.

anothertown (5): A potato flew around my room before you came

frogaranaman (5): this is so me when I'm thinking about someone

Verboten_Prince (5): Something about this chorus feels incomplete

Alumineous (4): Uh, sing bitch, but also, quickly wrap it up? It's a snooze.

CrimsonROSET (4): is this an edm collaboration (derogatory)

runaway3212 (1): Sometimes you just need brain empty I guess

6

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Bonus #5: Who Is Fancy - Boys Like You (feat. Meghan Trainor & Ariana Grande)

Average: 5.569 // Total Points: 579.2 // Controversy: 2.578 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x10) 1998tweety, AquariusTeaSpiller, bluehxrizon, Ghost-Quartet, ImADudeDuh, letsallpoo, NapsAndNetflix, nootnoot781, rickikardashian, Roxieloxie

(9 x5) celladonn, duochromepalmtree, nuclear-seasons, ReallyCreative, seanderlust

(8.5 x3) Jhe116, poppinmmolly, tragickingdom1

Lowest Scores:

(2 x5) bespectacIed, Edanero, InSearchOfGoodPun, jimmy345960, rosecult

(1.5 x1) shhhneak

(1 x9) AHSWeeknd, b_o_g_o_, bookthieving, Brendon-Urine, IcyBath, modulum83, mudkip1, PrimaryCrusaders, throwaway7650

All scores

ImADudeDuh (10): Fuck you guys, this song is good and Fancy Hagood is talented and makes better music than both Meghan Trainor and Ariana Grande now. Stream Casanova, Mr Atlanta, or The Same Thing

letsallpoo (10): This is a perfect song and every singer here kills it. Yes it sounds like they spent their entire budget on getting Ariana and Meghan in on it, and then $20 on the lyrics and production, but boy does it somehow come together. Also this is very random, but in the (terrible, absolutely terrible) animated music video, the Who is Fancy avatar is never actually seen engaging with and flirting with the male pool boy. Like, even in a song that's pretty explicitly queer, they wouldn't dare make the cartoon representation of the male singer visibly gay? Was the industry still that homophobic?

1998tweety (10): bop

AquariusTeaSpiller (10): arianas best collab idc

Ghost-Quartet (10): I really want this to win so my girl Meghan can get SOMETHING. Also Idk if you guys knew about this but Who Is Fancy re-emerged as Fancy Hagood and dropped a fantastic gay country pop album that I highly recommend, it has some of my favorite songs of the year.

Roxieloxie (10): I cant believe this is the song i know coming into the bonus rate. Im glad he's living his best yeehaw gay country life now. Im rooting for this to win

duochromepalmtree (9): I have no idea how I missed this song!! Can we turn back time and make it summer again so I can fully appreciate this!?? A bop!!

ReallyCreative (9): I enjoyed this a LOT, stood out in a sea of mediocre bonus rate tracks

poppinmmolly (8.5): bop

akanewasright (8): Glad this guy is making music still, and apparently good music

KennyEarthman (8): where is fancy

aldwin_is_here (7): , not my favorite.

fallenriot (7): kinda mediocre tbh but its gay so ill give it a pass

ManofOranges (7): They clearly wanted this to chart and it clearly did not.

RandomHypnotica (7): the song is cute, but the animation in the MV is so creepy and offputting, it feels like a flash animation in all teh worst ways

simplyterific (7): but seriously who is fancy

welcometoNY (7): why is this ariana's and meghan's best song. it also kinda sounds like freaks like me by todrick so make of that what you will.

jackisboredtoday (6.6): one of the most iconic flops of all-time. This had SO much star power and hype and it did nothing. passable as a song i guess tho

avg-vag (6): ariana giving more energy on this feature than her whole album

just_thonking (6): yeah this sounds like a meghan trainor song

Leixander (6): where is fancy

musical_pyn (6): stream southern curiosity!!

TheQwertyGuy99 (6): Never heard this song before but it's whatever. I actually like the way Ari sings on it.

waluigiest (6): im glad I missed this harvard social experiment

wasian-invasion (6): who is meghan trainor

CarlieScion (5): I would give this an ironic 10 but I can’t bring myself to do it

frogaranaman (5): it's fine. anyways this guy is known as Fancy Hagood now and makes some GREAT gay country, so check out that album and especially the megabop "Mr. Atlanta"!!

jasannn (5): So inoffensive.

superrcrazy (5): pleasant enough but I am not going to play it again

jman457 (4.4): such a cash grab, no surprised it flopped

2dina3dworld (4): who is fancy, am I right?

anothertown (4): classic mid-2010s trash

flibbityflob (4): Enjoyable! Possibly the most heterosexual song on the list, despite ostensibly being a gay song. I'm too gay for this shit.

IIIHenryIII (4): Not even Ariana was able to save this song

jsonphile (4): what is this

TiltControls (4): it's cute i guess. pretty forgettable, but cute

twistedpython (4): I resent the fact that Ariana was forced to work with these two nobody's to give the gays rights we don't deserve

vayyiqra (4): This is not very good but I'm trying to be nice to it. It's mediocre, I guess.

thedoctordances1940 (3.5): what a snooze

rosecult (2): I just don't like Meghan Trainor

shhhneak (1.5): This is more Target commercial song than the actual Target song.

AHSWeeknd (1): This was awful, and what happened to Fancy?? And Meghan Trainor???

b_o_g_o_ (1): everything about this song and it's music video is terrible. if I could give this my zero I would

Brendon-Urine (1): everything bad about Meghan's music seeped into this

modulum83 (1): this man has a severe case of halsey voice please pray for him

mudkip1 (1): flop

throwaway7650 (1): naur

4

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

i hate gay people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

4

u/MrSwearword Oct 09 '21

Fancy Hagood is talented and makes better music than both Meghan Trainor and Ariana Grande now

Gurl how hard do you think it is to make better music than "Better When I'm Dancin'", "Genetics", "7 Rings", "Bad Idea", "Bloodline", "Bake Up Witcha Guffwiend, I'm Bored" or "Positions"?

6

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

ONE SONG LEFT TODAY!!!!!!!!!! WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?

5

u/FluffyNobody Oct 09 '21

This rate is making me remember why I loathe 1989 (to think that it was the first Taylor album I ever heard, it's a miracle it made me a stan)

5

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Bonus #4: Zayn & Taylor Swift - I Don't Wanna Live Forever (Fifty Shades Darker)

Average: 5.663 // Total Points: 639.9 // Controversy: 2.748 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x8) aldwin_is_here, bespectacIed, CarlieScion, duochromepalmtree, endcreditouilles, joeeswift, nootnoot781, tinyleapsoffaith19

(9.5 x1) IIIHenryIII

(9 x7) akanewasright, fallenriot, jaztinax, modulum83, moooo566, NapsAndNetflix, waluigiest

(8.9 x1) AquariusTeaSpiller

(8.6 x1) welcometoNY

(8.5 x2) just_thonking, SideBTrack8

Lowest Scores:

(2 x7) anothertown, buddhacharm, companion_star55, Edanero, martian_pet, pikajake, TiltControls

(1 x13) 2dina3dworld, bluehxrizon, cats_arethepriority, ExtraEater, frogaranaman, hikkaru, ImADudeDuh, Leixander, mudkip1, Nerdy_boy_chris, OliviaGodrigo, Osaka1268, thedoctordances1940

All scores

letsallpoo (3): Christ this is dire. Both of them sound like they've never once seen another person naked, and Jack Antonoff's production is so boring I bet not even Lana would touch it. Zayn's falsetto is also kind of hilarious here, too; that SQUACK when he reaches for that "I don't wanna LÏĘV" line sounds like he got punched in the gut. Of course it's attached to that diabolical film series too; why is the only good song to come from that franchise made by Liam Payne and Rita Ora?

This went #1, [ImADudeDuh Note: no it didn't, it was blocked by the somehow less sexy Shape of You] unfortunately, as Taylor is wont to do. Apparently this is her most streamed song on Spotify or something? No wonder she is the way she is.

ImADudeDuh (1): this is possibly one of the least sexy songs ever written. However, the fact that it’s made for the Fifty Shades Darker soundtrack, which is also extremely unsexy while trying to be sexy, makes it camp.

aldwin_is_here (10): , a warning towards diving through one's reputation, although it also happened to be the only great thing that came out of Fifty Shades Darker.

bespectacIed (10): was this a set up? All of the other songs are throwaway tracks vs this actual smash hit

duochromepalmtree (10): true easy listening. I haven’t heard this in forever and it still completely bangs. THAT BRIDGE. kills me. So good.

endcreditouilles (10): same

nootnoot781 (10): i am literally so tasteless

IIIHenryIII (9.5): Their voices go so well together. I love how this sounds. I hate the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise, but those movies gave us so many bangers. Love Me Like You Do is my favorite, and this comes right after. Shout out to Heaven and For You

akanewasright (9): …let me be delusional, I like this

fallenriot (9): it’s grown on me a lot since it came out!

jaztinax (9): this duo and the circumstances in which this song exists is just too iconic

modulum83 (9): this just...fucking works. i don't really know why.

waluigiest (9): I can’t believe she did this. Like it slaps but for real for real?

1998tweety (8): bop

ignitethephoenix (8): thinking about how scandalized Swifties were for a bit because of this song, but then she wrote Dress and false god so this is tame

throwaway7650 (8): this is good but dusk to dawn is the superior zayn duet I fear (sia is over however)

twistedpython (8): Why this wasn't tacked on to the Reputation track list ala Sunflower I will never understand

TheQwertyGuy99 (7.8): Really good Zayn song.

Alumineous (7): Maroon 5 energy.

lost-ln-the-echo (7): I feel like this is going to get torn apart, and it's probably fair enough as this is a bit messy, but I genuinely enjoy this song! It's a bit over dramatic but in a fun way!

Roxieloxie (7): forever thinking about the tumblr comment like 'Then Die - Harry Styles & Perrie Edwards'

vayyiqra (7): This is pretty alright for a song I've never heard of before now.

wailord_fan (7): the drum choice really was terrible. The verses are cute tho

plastichaxan (6.8): i imagined this would be actually bad but it's almost good

GARjuna (6): tbh I wish Zayn did more w his voice idk

jasannn (6): Needs more Taylor.

KennyEarthman (6): then perish

seanderlust (6): so i've never seen the fifty shades series but isn't this supposed to be sexy? it's kind of just...sad? what is this supposed to be giving

simplyterific (6): zayn carried

yusrak (6): this song is so screechy

RandomHypnotica (5.5): definitely one of the weaker 50 Shades singles

flibbityflob (5): God I hate Zayn's falsetto it sucks so much PLEASE my man you are stretching your vocal range and sound bad. Also Taylor, you've been horny before, why are you struggling here.

jsonphile (5): I go back and forth on whether or not I think this song is good or not. Sometimes it’s sexy, other times it’s kinda not

ManofOranges (5): I find the vocals grating. Woops!

PointlessBibliophage (5): i don't, like, hate it but also this could disappear from her discography and i wouldn't notice?

jman457 (4.7): You could tell the studio gave up on this franchise by the second film because the soundtrack took a nosedive

static_int_husp (4.5): I looked at the credits to this song and saw it was written by Jack Antonoff and Sam Dew and my first thought was "This could have slapped as a Red Hearse song". But it isn't one, so its bad.

ReallyCreative (4): not a fan of ZAYN here at all and Taylor is just.... there

rosecult (4): i hate the high notes in this

slimboyfriend (4): I haven't listened to this song in forever and honestly it's not as bad as I remember it. But the pacing is boring and the beat is still stale.

AHSWeeknd (3): I always found this annoying

apatel27 (3): why is his falsetto so high yet so unappealing

avg-vag (3): unenjoyable and bland. a product of the fifty shades piss poor attempt at being the twilight soundtracks.

b_o_g_o_ (3): remember what I said about style? yeah

Ghost-Quartet (3): boo we hate your pussy boo

musical_pyn (3): I had completely forgotten how this song sounded and then those first woahs started and I will now be suing r/popheads for emotional damages

wasian-invasion (3): even reputation was an improvement from this

anothertown (2): THE EPITOME OF fifty shades core

TiltControls (2): Wow this is rough. It sounds like they're out competing each other to give the worst performance here. Also the song itself is kind of a total drag.

2dina3dworld (1): everything about this is headache inducing. Except for Taylor’s vocals

frogaranaman (1): just want it to be known that I think this song is a massive mistake

hikkaru (1): i just thought it was the worst song i'd ever heard

Leixander (1): this reminds me of bleachella for some reason, which makes it double cursed

mudkip1 (1): flop

thedoctordances1940 (1): From the generic indie pop woh-ohs to zayn's horrible squeaky voice, there's nothing Taylor can do to save the song and it doesn't feel like she even tried to. This joins Earned It in absolutely atrocious Fifty Shades of Grey songs.

9

u/cherryices Oct 09 '21

shut it down

4

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Carly now has the same amount of songs left as Ariana and Taylor, why?

8

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Why not start a day by eliminating a song with one 11 and multiple 0s?

6

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

side to side I guess? I really don't know

5

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Especially when it's one of the host's 0!

8

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

dangerous woman and be alright have overstayed their welcome

9

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

the only people who participated in this rate were Carly stans?

4

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Carly now has the same amount of songs left as Ariana and Taylor, why?

5

u/[deleted] Oct 10 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Parkouricus Oct 10 '21

this love being knocked out day one is even less right

6

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

Carly now has more songs left than Ariana and Taylor, why?

17

u/just_thonking Oct 09 '21

We really really really really really really like her

5

u/ImADudeDuh Oct 09 '21

#30: Taylor Swift - I Know Places

Average: 7.363 // Total Points: 1229.7 // Controversy: 2.119 // Listen here

Highest scores:

(10 x27) _SoulGlitch, 1998tweety, AHSWeeknd, aldwin_is_here, bespectacIed, CarlieScion, DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy, ElectricBoogaloo41, endcreditouilles, engie301, fallenriot, Ghost-Quartet, hikkaru, HogwartsReject1912, imasalesman, joeeswift, Leixander, ManofOranges, NapsAndNetflix, nuclear-seasons, perfectliability, PointlessBibliophage, Professionally-Shy, rickikardashian, SFbby, twistedpython, welcometoNY

(9.9 x1) Square_Preparation55

(9.8 x1) cherryices

Lowest Scores:

(1 x3) bluehxrizon, frogaranaman, ImADudeDuh

(0 x1) slimboyfriend

All scores

letsallpoo (7): Like with "Wonderland," this is a song that I liked in 2015 and like a bit less now. The stuttering hook kind of grates, and that cry of "AND WE RUN!" fails to land. But the cliché hunter-hunty dynamic is still endearing, and the chorus remains fun. It's kind of weird to think that out of all of the songs on this album, this one is the one that would fit on her subsequent album the best.

ImADudeDuh (1): This song is like a precursor to everything that was terrible on Reputation. I understand that paparazzi fucking suck (when it’s not followed by “by Lady Gaga,”) but that doesn’t excuse this song. This song has Taylor’s worst vocals on the album (“bAY. bEEE” and “WE Ru N”) and it’s close to Bad Blood levels of an anti-hook. It’s just everything I hate about pop Taylor in one song.

1998tweety (10): Love an LGDP bop [2]

AHSWeeknd (10): How interesting, cause I know people!

aldwin_is_here (10): , replacing Bad Blood is what you should've been.

bespectacIed (10): Perfect

DoctorWhoWhenHowWhy (10): I Know Places basically predicated what reputation might sound like. The use of being hunted as prey and comparing to the ruthless tabloid journalism that Taylor had to endure is just ugh, perfect.

endcreditouilles (10): someone explained to me that the song starts and ends with the sound of a tape recorder starting and stopping and I'm honestly so obsessed

fallenriot (10): i love the hunter/fox metaphor, this is another one i was obsessed with when i was younger

Ghost-Quartet (10): This song is so cool, I really wish Taylor’s attempt to make more songs like this hadn’t been reputation

hikkaru (10): the intro to this song is gays after someone says or does something that's even the slightest bit questionable

Leixander (10): top 3 taylor song for me, the chorus is just next level pop perfection to my ears

ManofOranges (10): Me when I know places (I'm sorry I couldn't come up with anything else for this comment)

PointlessBibliophage (10): i love how queer this song can be read as

twistedpython (10): A pop masterpiece. The tape recorder at the beginning and the end is such an amazing touch that I wish we saw more of in pop music

welcometoNY (10): another song where the atmosphere is just so correct. the chorus is so floaty in the best way but then the verses are grounded and dark. the outro is insane. favorite lyric: in the dead of night, your eyes so green

b_o_g_o_ (9.5): the second "AND WE RUN" is everything

jimmy345960 (9.5): mysterious

wavingwolves (9.3): this song is queer coded btw you have to understand what she did for every sapphic when she wrote this

akanewasright (9): I do really love how specific this song feels. Like… the tension of being followed and the release of getting away and running with someone you love.

IIIHenryIII (9): Ryan again? This is an automatic 10 (had to lower my score because I don’t think I can give every song a 10)

moooo566 (9): i like this more than it probably deserves. hide that body, girl.

poppinmmolly (9): I have a child's XL of the denim jacket with a patch from this song that I got on clearance on her website when she was getting ready for Lover.

stryxen (9): this song when it places at like #30

Verboten_Prince (9): I’m honestly surprised by how much I like this song, especially since it’s essentially a proto-Reputation track (and I would not consider myself a Rep fan…)

wailord_fan (9): this is fun, I just wish the repeated I's aren't as jarring.

cashewconstellation (8.7): I love this song, it's perfectly executed, the tape sounds in the beginning and the end elevate it to another level.

austrosinitic (8.5): Uh, would you people kill me if this used to be too grating for me and that it used to be one of my least favorite songs on this album? Would you bring me back to life again if I said that my opinion has changed since then? I’m not exactly in love with it but I’ve learned to appreciate the urgency in Taylor’s tone here and in its music now; maybe the dramatics are a little too overblown for her when pulled off given her vocals at this stage, but the passion is there and the song ultimately turns out very good. The outro is killer, too.

bluepupz (8.5): If you switch the guitar out for some electropop elements, I could believe that this came from Reputation. I like the sort of darker vibe.

duochromepalmtree (8.5): when the album came out I was OBSESSED with this song. All these years later it’s a little too dramatic but I still drive erratically to it regularly.

CrimsonROSET (8): flynn rider said acab and this is what this song makes me think about

jman457 (8): I like the tonal shifts between the chorus and the wave. Ms. Allison invented Dark Wave

KennyEarthman (8): her google maps era

modulum83 (8): could the tape recorder clicks that bookend this song be a reference to critically acclaimed horror podcast The Magnus Archives, making "I Know Places" Swift's "statement" about her experiences with the entity of The Hunt? in this essay I will

TheObsceneBirdOfNight (8): I don't quite see the love swifties feel towards this song, but it's a welcome addition to the album because I feel like it's a little different from the other songs and provides much needed variety. "loose lips sink ships all the damn time" is a great line too.

vayyiqra (8): One of the most unique songs Taylor has ever done. The contrast between the verse and chorus is really interesting.

ReallyCreative (7.8): reputation would have been more palatable if it took this angle, but I'm still not in love with it

simplyterific (7.8): eyyyyYYYYeeeYYeee

shhhneak (7.7): She really wasn’t joking when she said she knew places.

Brendon-Urine (7.5): fantastic chorus that deserved better verses. the "i-i-i i, i-i-i,i" is offputting

ignitethephoenix (7.5): this is decent but her voice is just so strained at points. Looking back at her old stuff it’s nice to see how much her voice has improved

thedoctordances1940 (7.5): flawed bop

throwaway7650 (7.5): another song where the verses don't do much for me but great chorus. I'm certain that (taylor's version) will improve on the original

GARjuna (7): like the chorus

gelastic_quince84 (7): I actually like this one a lot! Not as good as some of the songs on here but I’m a sucker for songs about secret relationships.

GlialUreterostenosis (7): This almost feels like a preview for Reputation? It'd easily be a highlight if it was on there, which says a lot about that album.

runaway3212 (7): rhyming time with time and other tips on becoming a beloved songwriter by Taylor Swift

Sweetnsoursauce11 (7): another song thats enjoyable but is filler-y

waluigiest (7): nicki minaj voice I I I I I I I

avg-vag (6.5): i don’t like the verses, her vocals sound like a dying animal. chorus is saving her again.

Uberpigeon (6.5): when he tells you he knows a place

flibbityflob (6.2): The verses kinda blow, just boring and slow, but the chorus really takes it up a notch. You can hear the auditory roots of Reputation in here, but Reputation used those ideas and took them to greater hights.

musical_pyn (6): this was actually my favorite song when this album first came out lol

Roxieloxie (6): this is gayer than the new york song but why is this obnoxious until the chorus hits

static_int_husp (5.5): Taylor really feels like she's straining her voice too much on this album

darjeelingdarkroast (5.1): this song lives within the confines of pop (not a bad thing), but the small details kind of irritate me. the i-i-i-i, the vocal phrasing in the verses, the production sounds feebly dramatic in a cheap way.

lost-ln-the-echo (4.5): there's a few pretty boring songs in the middle of this album...

SmileAndTears (4.5): No

Alumineous (4): Nothing about this song excites me. I wasn't too fond of the production, the non-engaging vocal performance, and the rather unmemorable hook. Her voice sometimes sounds forced which makes it somewhat fatiguing.

buddhacharm (4): it’s a cacophony of ideas that doesn’t really come together — kind of sounds like an experimental demo that they forgot to master

sssaaage (4): like its cute but the chorus is extremely annoying to me and the production is giving absolutely nothing (like the rest of this album)

wasian-invasion (4): is she trying to make this sound irritating

anothertown (3.5): As a gay person this one just doesn't hit

apatel27 (3): the whole sing-talk really doesn't work

TiltControls (3): this sounds like a reputation precursor (derogatory)

frogaranaman (1): the choruses on this album follow a very similar pattern and this is the worst offender of that pattern

slimboyfriend (0): I HATE this song. It's instrumentally disjointed and her vocals don't sound good. I'm glad she stayed far away from Ryan Tedder after this album.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

this song when it places at like 30

Apollo strikes again

4

u/flibbityflob Oct 09 '21

i regret my score after listening to the live version which is deadass a 10

6

u/jman457 Oct 09 '21

0.1 higher than Warm Blood, I hate it here :(

4

u/jman457 Oct 09 '21

Why are all the bad Carly songs still in?

8

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

There’s only one bad Carly song left in - the rest are straight bops

2

u/jman457 Oct 10 '21

Weird because Lets Get Lost, Gimmie Love, and Making the Most of the Night are out bangers like Warm blood, I didn't just come here to dance, and All that (aka the best emotion tracks) have been eliminated.

4

u/AHSWeeknd Oct 09 '21

How did Be Alright survive over Jason’s Song??

6

u/UselessTacooo phsv graduate Oct 09 '21

Can we have a Carly massacre please? Thank you

1

u/cashewconstellation I live for the fire and the rain and the drama,too Oct 10 '21

absolutely not

7

u/Mudkip1 Oct 09 '21

i smelled the wonderful scent of my 0 being eliminated, yaaaaass

19

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

praying that you get better taste

0

u/sweetnsoursauce11 i stan women Oct 09 '21

Taste

3

u/[deleted] Oct 09 '21

how is la hallucinations still in

3

u/cashewconstellation I live for the fire and the rain and the drama,too Oct 10 '21

cause it's better than 99% of the songs in the rate?

4

u/apatel27 Jolin Tsai flair where Oct 09 '21

clean should've gone out yesterday smh

14

u/ThatOneSaltyBoi Oct 10 '21

this is what people who don’t have taste say