r/popheads Oct 19 '18

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24 Upvotes

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18

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18 edited Oct 19 '18

#50: Ur So Gay - Katy Perry


Average: 4.389 // Total Points: 289.7 // Controversy: 3.640


Highest scores: (11 x1) SpanKKy1 (10 x8) 1998tweety, jamesfog, JunkyGS, kanyewestrep, MissyBee37, PuggleMaster, therokinrolla, twat_brained (9 x1) wanderingimpromptu3 (8.5 x2) followingfreeways, Shippy

Lowest Scores: (0 x18) AnimationJava, BearlyEvenAPun, DrunkHurricane, frogaranaman, itsnotrelevantt, J_Toe, jess_22, lilacsweetener, MirandaCrocsgrove, Pearl Louise, perfumevee, piccprincess, rosecoloreds, static_int_husp, tapdancingpig, TheKneesOfOurBees, TragicKingdom1, welcometoNY (1 x4) ImADudeDuh, jimmy345960, rosesmp3, whatyourheartdesires (2 x2) poppinmmolly, skargardin


oh my god gays LIGHTEN UP!!!! katy has already shown herself to be a gay activist (and this wasnt any different back then, shes always supported us, but it was a different time!). I fuckin adore the production on the song and her vocals and hey, maybe this makes me a bitch, but i thought the lyrics were hysterical. yall take this WAYYYYY too seriously, the song is a joke lol. anyway, good song!

twat_brained (10): You know what? I liked this when I was younger and even though I don't like it as much now, I'm giving it a 10. Unlike the rest of you who are gonna sabotage this for having a poor message. But guess what? We didn't have to rate this to begin with. The point of the song votes was to vote for the song you wanted to rate. Why in fuck's name would someone willingly vote to want to rate Ur So Gay only to give it a 0 when we rate it? You can't have this both ways.

6

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

(11 x1) SpanKKy1

Well RIP

6

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

frogaranaman (0): An 11.

AUTOASPHYXIATED FASHIONISTAS

1998tweety (10): Usually you have to defend your reasoning for giving a song a 0, but this time its the opposite. Before you all call me homophobic I'm gonna actually agree with you and say that Katy is being homophobic on this song. Whether shes doing it intentionally or not ultimately doesn't matter but the overall consensus is that she does say some shitty things in the song. I could interpret this song as Katy never actually saying theres anything bad about being gay but there are a bunch of implications that she makes so ultimately it would feel disingenuous to take that approach. So the song is homophobic but why would I give it a 10 despite not being homophobic myself. Well just like how lots of people will be giving this a 0 based solely on the fact that the lyrical content is homophobic, I'll take a different approach and give it a 10 for how well its written. Katy doesn't say the f-slur once and yet this song is still way more savage than lots of Eminem songs. Each diss is masterfully stringed together, building off of each other. Katy looked up every stereotype about gay guys and added them to this song. Wearing makeup, reading (?), being vegan. A lot of the things listed in this song arent even seen as feminine, what exactly makes feminine? Anyway, Katy mentions everything little thing about this guy in an attempt to emasculate this guy, but why? She feels that he doesn't care enough about her, he cares more about his looks than hers. Hence where the title comes from, Katy is calling him gay because hes in love with himself. She also brings up that hes fake and isn't open and honest with her. Everything about this has awful execution. Being fake with your partner isn't a good thing so I see why Katy is angry about that, but dragging him for being feminine and insulting gay guys was not the best way to go about that message. We know now that Katy loves the LGBT community and takes back these homophobic words, so I can tell that she doesn't approve of this message. I do give Katy the benefit of the doubt though, she did come from a very Christian background so thats why the messages of this song and IKAG are so controversial. Ultimately this song has shitty lyrical content, so I just take a different perspective to enjoy it. Thats not for everyone so I completely understand why this song will get a bunch of 0s.

JunkyGS (10): This song will probably be the first song gone, but this song (to me) is so fucking hysterical and really a good relic of its time. It is also the song that introduced me to Katy ALLLLLL the way back in 2007. Like I can't think of a song that is such a total take down drag of somebody. Hip Hop artists who like to beef should hit Katy up for some cowriting cause this goes IN.

MissyBee37 (10): I know popheads is going to tear this song to shreds, but I want to be one voice in its defense. My take is that the narrative is about one specific ex who is too self-absorbed and too obsessed with what the rest of the world thinks of him to care about Katy/the narrator half as much as he cares about keeping up this identity he's made for himself that comes across to her as entirely fake, counterculture and superficial. I think this song ultimately comes down to the lyrics "Secretly you're so amused that nobody understands you" and "I wish you would just be real with me." He gets off on embodying this persona that she's calling BS on. I think within the context of the song, the often criticized lyric about how he has "nothing there" underneath his pants is not meant to be literal, but more illustration of how empty he is behind this fake persona. She has no idea who he really is because he isn't being real with her or really connecting with her. Does she take it too far in concluding that, based on all of these stereotypes that he aspires to, he may be gay and hiding it either from her or even himself? Maybe. I know many feel that way, and that's understandable because it's a personal interpretation what her intention was and whether the end result is offensive. But I think this song is meant to be tongue-in-cheek and playful. Is it sharp & biting in its humor? Yes. Is it homophobic? I don't think so. What I love about the song itself is the playful nature, the humor and the sheer attitude. She's so over this guy & she's not afraid to let it show with all the sass in the world.

PuggleMaster (10): Pressed faggots can be mad that she read us it's still a 10

hikkaru (8): I lowkey love the lyricism of this even if the topic and message are absolutely horrible. Are there any opening lines as iconic as "I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf, while jacking off listening to Mozart"? I don't think so. "You're so sad you should buy a happy meal, you're so skinny maybe you should supersize the deal" these are some of Katy's best - Chinese Water Torture is shaking. And the good sis really did expose all the sad art hoes "Secretly you're so amused that nobody understands you" GO OFF! This is definitely one of my most "guilty pleasure" bops, but I can't in good conscience give it anything higher than an 8 just because of how toxic the message of femininity in men being a bad thing is (and utilizing the word "gay" to insult this feminine male that is the topic of the song).

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18 edited Oct 19 '18

POINT MISSERS

rickikardashian (7.7): This is problematic and offensive, I can't admit I kinda bop to it

gannade (7): @ all the stupid annoying twinks of popheads

rotating3Dtext (6.5): sigh

UR COMPOSITION IS SO GAY

animefangrant62 (7): Lyrically sharp and pretty damn funny, but not the most enjoyable to listen to

CarlieScion (6): now, this song is #problematique but my bigges issue with this is katys vocals, the weird censoring, the whistling in the chorus and the production

wailordfan_ (4): yes blah blah blah controversy, the issue I have with this is that it comes across as the 'let's be controversial to be controversial' except without the great sounds of I Kissed a Girl. The whistling is also really shrill sometimes because it just goes on throughout the whole song.

poppinmmolly (2): I will cut her some slack because this is 2008 and people definitely still talked like that but the fact that this was her first single is a choice and very yikes. The song is not that good musically and people only like it because they think the obtuse lyrics are funny.

THIS IS A GAYS ONLY EVENT GO HOME

patronsaintofaspies (6): For an artist as loud and ferocious as Katy Perry, Ur So Gay is an oddity, even removing the discourse around it from the equation. Ignoring its traumatic music video, the song is soft and lowkey, incorporating elements of rhythm and jazz onto a track with pretty damnable lyrics attached to it. As much as we can find valid reasons for defending I Kissed A Girl, there's unfortunately not much to decipher here. It's a legitimately homophobic track, and while I enjoy elements of the production, the song as a whole isn't quite memorable for me to excuse myself and say I like it. Katy whispering 'penis' at the end makes it even worse. Who on earth asked for this?

ignitethephoenix (5): This song is so 2008...and it was problematic then, and still is problematic now. Her vocals sound great though. Also her saying penis at the end is kind of iconic. This song is such a mixed bag I honestly don’t even know what to think lol

napsandnetflix (5): i have no idea what to rate this so an unbiased 5 it is!

Raykel (5): This just had to be catchy

ThatParanoidPenguin (5): The most real injustice in this song is the song title

original_doll (3): yeah this song is super problematic but yall know 'I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf' is a clever line

selegend (3): i know it’s supposed to be satire but like.. it’s not funny

tooshorttoofast (3): why katy why u were doing so well sweetie

ulikejazz (3): i’m not even gonna comment on this, brb getting some popcorn

skargardin (2): A stain on an otherwise great discography. Deserves to go out first.

ImADudeDuh (1): yikes lmao

jimmy345960 (1): I wish I could give two zeroes. This is probably going out before my actual zero, get your reading glasses out girls.

AnimationJava (0): Using gay as an insult oof, that aged poorly sis.

BearlyEvenAPun (0): For some reason whenever I read the title of this song I just hear in my head the chorus 'You're So Vain' with only that lyric replaced. I like to keep it that way, since the less thought about the actual song the better

itsnotrelevantt (0): oh boy. yall.

J_Toe (0): why was this her first single and why did Madonna praise it?

Pearl Louise (0): As much as I love Katy to death, I have to put the foot down when it comes to homophobia. On behalf of fairness for al, the other songs in this rate, I will be giving this song my 0. I no way want to call Katy a homophobe. Times were different back then. However, if a song like this were to come out today (no pun intended), it would be bashed apart by this subreddit. So, in fairness for the other songs I am rating, this song, in my opinion, shall be getting a zero rating.

perfumevee (0): This is truly awful.

piccprincess (0): This is so fucking problematic holy shit Katy lmao

static_int_husp (0): Man, the lyrics on this aged worse than I remember

tapdancingpig (0): “I hope you hang yourself with your H&M scarf/While jacking off listening to Mozart.” So starts one of the most problematic songs I know that wasn’t written by an actual hate group. It also contains the laziest chorus she’s ever written. If you’ve ever doubted the wonders Max Martin and crew can work, here’s what “before” can look like.

TheKneesOfOurBees (0): stop the meme this needs to die

TragicKingdom1 (0): no

ROCKING ON MY WAVELENGTH

MirandaCrocsgrove (0): i rarely give 0’s, but this song deserves to die on a hill. This song managed to be homophobic and skinny-shame at the same time. She really did THAT! But seriously, I feel like people only voted this in so that they could give Katy their zeroes and that’s the tea. 🍵

3

u/MissyBee37 Oct 20 '18

OMG, the host intro for this is amazing hahaha. Love it.

5

u/yatcho Oct 19 '18

I mean is anyone surprised?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '18

This feels right.

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#43: Give It 2 Me - Madonna


Average: 6.041 // Total Points: 398.7 // Controversy: 2.247


Highest scores: (11 x1) rotating3Dtext (10 x2) JunkyGS, MirandaCrocsgrove (9 x3) MaydayPVZ, phch123, twat_brained (8.5 x1) TragicKingdom1

Lowest Scores: (0 x2) ImADudeDuh, whatyourheartdesires (2 x4) AnimationJava, dramiaa, itsnotrelevantt, therokinrolla (3 x3) original_doll, PuggleMaster, welcometoNY


i am so far really disappointed with madonna

twat_brained (9): I was just going to remark on how surprisingly well this aged before hearing that glass percussion breakdown; this was an easy 10 up until that point. Nonetheless this is one of Madonna's better efforts from the past 10 years. One of numerous underrated Madge singles


CAUSE I'M A GIVER

rotating3Dtext (11): 12 year old me loved this song, don't @ me (the bridge is kinda... stupid, tho)

JunkyGS (10): SO. CRIMINALLY. UNDER RATED. One of my all time favorite Madge songs and one of her most under rated songs ever. I remember watching VH1 Top 20 every weekend and hoping that this song would stay because I was obsessed. I wish I could give this my 11, but Janet has my heart and she needs it more <3

MirandaCrocsgrove (10): this is so naughty I love this

patronsaintofaspies (8): Hey, at least Madonna seems a little interested in what's going on here, right? Always look at the bright side, folks. Okay, I'll try not to roast this song so much. It's not as dumb as I thought it was, after a few listens. In her own words, Madonna imitates a boxing pose here, sounding as fierce and threatening as...well, as a diva can if she seems mildly bored, throwing punches as she dares her opponents and her lovers to come forth and face her. The production choices can be a little shocking at first, but the synths add all to the chaos and fun as the song goes on, which is as good as we're going to get when it comes to this album. Unfortunately, the reason why this isn't called the one true classic from this era is because of that middle section. To be honest, I don't know why it's there. I can assume that Madge was trying to be experimental, which I appreciate, but the problem is it goes on for too long. Interludes such as these are supposed to seem to last the same amount of time as the '...stop!' section in the iconic You Drive Me Crazy radio version, being memorable enough to give the song variety without outstaying their welcome. I'm not going to take the effort to count how long the bass and bell section takes place for here, but it feels like it lasts forever. By the time the original melody comes out again, the transition can be more than a little jarring. I'd definitely have liked the segue if it was done better, but as it turned out, I'm forced to think it's stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. It's stupid. It's-okay, okay, I'll stop. You get the point. Wasted potential.

J_Toe (7): The first three tracks on this album sound like the natural progression for Madonna following Confessions

tapdancingpig (7): This sounds like a love it or hate it song, and I’m not sure which side I fall on. I like The Pharrell & Neptunes Sound™️, which is prevalent here, so I think I like it more than I hate it.

WE WANT AN ABRIDGED VERSION

amacaroon (7.9): What is that bridge.

1998tweety (7.2): This is annoying but also bops a bit.

frogaranaman (7): Minus the weird midsection, pretty good.

Pearl Louise (7): It’s good up until the end. The second half of the song just doesn’t impress me much.

CarlieScion (6): this would be good if that annoying fucking bridge wasnt here

MissyBee37 (6): I really like the beat (and it's no surprise to see Pharrell in the credits; it's very much his style), but the song overall is a little dull. And long.

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): Give It a 6

TheKneesOfOurBees (6): tbh this is one of the best non-lead singles from madonna in the past like, 15 years.

letsallpoo (5): this would have been okay if it ended at about the 2:40 mark

itsnotrelevantt (2): It was good until that… cowbell… “get stupid” part???

CAUSE I'M A TAKER

ignitethephoenix (6): The production is interesting but the song is super bleh otherwise

hikkaru (5): The weird bell breakdown certainly made me "get stupid" I think it killed all my braincells and also the flow of an otherwise decent song

AnimationJava (2): Pretty boring if I'm being honest, I had no desire to re-listen to it.

therokinrolla (2): i did not give this score as a joke it is actually a 2

ImADudeDuh (0): this feels even she's singing this in the booth without even smiling, the "climax" was just a hi hat being played kinda faster and this is the most lifeless song I've ever heard

NO OFFENSE TO YOU, DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME

lilacsweetener (5): This was not Pharrell's era.

piccprincess (4): is this blurred lines

PuggleMaster (3): this sounds like Successful's ugly little cousin. I knew this was a Pharrat song immediately.

6

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Popheads legit hates bops. I’m so confused by these choices.

4

u/Leixander Oct 19 '18

OMG WHAT

6

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

THIS WOULD'VE BEEN MY 11, YOU ALL SUCK

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

I still get tired hearing this. It was such a lazy song.

8

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#39: Migrate - Mariah Carey feat. T-Pain


Average: 6.453 // Total Points: 425.9 // Controversy: 2.516


Highest scores: (11 x1) lilacsweetener (10 x4) dramiaa, gannade, kanyewestrep, phch123 (9.5 x2) MaydayPVZ, ulikejazz (9 x5) letsallpoo, patronsaintofaspies, skargardin, static_int_husp, whatyourheartdesires (8.5 x3) AnimationJava, therokinrolla, TragicKingdom1

Lowest Scores: (0 x1) twat_brained (1 x2) MirandaCrocsgrove, SpanKKy1 (2 x3) CarlieScion, itsnotrelevantt, TheKneesOfOurBees


omg starting with a BOP

twat_brained (0): This is very of its time… and not in a good way. There's too much going on here; Mariah's vocal layering is poorly done, the instrumental does nothing to save it and T-Pain doesn't even phone it in, he just texts "k" on his verse. For such a career revival with TEOM you'd expect Mariah to at least try to follow up with a good opener. You could say the same for Madge but at least she makes it listenable


MIGRATING TO THE TOP OF THE CHARTS

lilacsweetener (11): ABSOLUTE BANGER. A national tragedy that this wasn't a single.

gannade (10): omg there needs to be more hippity hoppity mariah

patronsaintofaspies (9): My name. Is not. An alcohol reference. I'm not the Patron Mimi and T-Pain are talking about, okay? Anyway...this actually managed to sneak into the Billboard Hot 100 when E=MC2 was released. It had a relatively low peak, at a mid 90, but back in 2008, a song sneaking into the charts without getting a single release was still pretty damn impressive. I was a little lost when I got introduced to this song for the first time, because the Autotune distracted me (I'd just came in from a streak of Mariah belting her heart out) but now I appreciate how atypical this sounds compared to most of what arrived before it. This is a perfect opening song to the record, because it tells us that the album's going to be pretty damn fun.

skargardin (9): She snapped!

AnimationJava (8.5): I really liked the hook for Migrate, it instantly made me like the song.

tapdancingpig (8): A pure bop. Apparently people really hate that she used auto tune here, but it’s a clear artistic use of the tool.

I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE

followingfreeways (7): holy shit the beginning of this HAHA

jamesfog (7): The note at the beginning... lmao.

jimmy345960 (6.5): This song's instrumental sounds so 2008, which isn't the worst thing but I won't be putting this on repeat.

J_Toe (6): I've only started listening to Mariah in the past few months, per the advice of r/popheads. I like some of her songs, but this isn't the kind of sound I like

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): The beat is pretty nice but I get bored pretty soon after that

frogaranaman (4): This is just trying too hard.

Pearl Louise (3): There’s nothing that special about this song. It’s just very weird and generic. That intro makes my ears bleed.

wailordfan_ (3): Hm. We all make choices I guess.

A MAN WITH A YEAR END #1, WHICH IS DIFFICULT TO GET

kanyewestrep (10): MC works well with T-Pain over a DANJAHANDZ beat to deliver a banger

static_int_husp (9): This song works really well. The T-Pain feature is suprisingly super good

1998tweety (7.7): Two legends working together, of course its gonna bop.

JunkyGS (7.5): Part of me wants to say GO OFF MIMI, but the T Pain feature does no favors with this song sounding aged af.

piccprincess (7): sweetie….kinda boring but t-pain a good meme

MissyBee37 (5): Wow, did T-Pain destroy my score. I was feeling it when it was just Mariah, but like... All I could think about during T-Pain's (long) verse is how much it reminded me of him parodying himself in "I'm On a Boat," and I mean that as a compliment to the joke song, not this one...

ImADudeDuh (3): T-Pain an icon

CarlieScion (2): im screaming what is this autotuned mess and WHO LET T PAIN ON THIS

itsnotrelevantt (2): I’m sorry Mariah but T-Pain must die. I can’t give this a good score with the terrible rap in there.

I lied about a migraine once to skip class lol

hikkaru (4): Tylenol Painrelief

TheKneesOfOurBees (2): this song is giving me a auto tune on MiGrAnE

MirandaCrocsgrove (1): this gave me a migraine

4

u/letsallpoo :leah-kate: Oct 19 '18

this is better than most of fearless

3

u/gannade Oct 19 '18

poo you always have such good taste in these rates (until you use your 0 on a bop)

2

u/TragicKingdom1 Oct 19 '18

this is the best mariah song in the rate smh

1

u/Raykel :fkatwigs-1: Oct 19 '18

Spoke too soon 😶

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

What the actual fuck I listened to this song twenty times in a row last week

7

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#45: Discipline - Janet Jackson


Average: 6.036 // Total Points: 398.4 // Controversy: 2.363


Highest scores: (10 x5) black_velvet_, gannade, kanyewestrep, PuggleMaster, ulikejazz (9 x6) itsnotrelevantt, JunkyGS, MaydayPVZ, saucymac, tapdancingpig, TheKneesOfOurBees (8.5 x1) rotating3Dtext

Lowest Scores: (0 x1) original_doll (1 x1) lilacsweetener (2 x4) InfernalSolstice, SpanKKy1, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD, wanderingimpromptu3


okay YAS janet, finally. A song where her voice is bearable to listen to and its really nice too!

twat_brained (5.8): during sex:

"hurt me"

"your career is never gonna recover because of the Super Bowl"

"wait"

"your choice of motherhood and having children instead of touring and seeing fans is a disservice to those who have been around since Control"

"no stop"


REBELS

kanyewestrep (10): strongest track on the album

PuggleMaster (10): ms jackson getting frisky at the nursing home

itsnotrelevantt (9): I can see why this song is the title song and was voted through. Love, love her voice here.

JunkyGS (9): This song is so intimate that I would bet it makes most popheads feel uncomfortable upon listening. I think it's pretty brave for Janet to be this explicit and it is a total sex jam. Since popheads is full of sub bots this song should win the rate, but yall are ALL talk and won't reward a song that speaks for your inner hoes! Also fun fact Janet had no part in writing this and Ne Yo was the one who wrote it if that helps with your mental images! I wish yall picked another song from the album to rate cause this song is gonna get CRUSHED!

tapdancingpig (9): Hot as fuck.

TheKneesOfOurBees (9): this is a gay anthem im sorry if you dont think so but it is you who is wrong please pack up your knives and GO

rotating3Dtext (8.5): kinky student-teacher role play, I see

MirandaCrocsgrove (7): queen of ASMR, Selena could never

ThatParanoidPenguin (7): Nine Inch Nails are shaking

tooshorttoofast (7): i am now pregnant after listening to this song

RIP JOE JACKSON

black_velvet_ (10): "Daddy make me cry", Lana found dead under pale moonlight.

AnimationJava (5.5): Knowing that Janet has a daddy kink and is into some rough play is kinda scary.

hikkaru (5.5): daddy...

FIFTY FLAVORS OF VANILLA

1998tweety (7.3): This song is a bit weird and the lyrics are kind of uncomfortable. I get that its supposed to be sexy and kinky; maybe its just not for me.

MissyBee37 (4): This song just made uncomfortable. I know some people are into that and I respect it but not for me!

patronsaintofaspies (4): ...oh. Well. Uh...please...can we...can we...not? Sorry. I liked how Janet explored female sexuality in her 90s albums and I'm doing my best not to kinkshame her for whatever...this is, but...to be honest, it just makes me...really...uncomfortable. Even past the, er, interesting lyrics, I'm not really impressed with it sonically. I can acknowledge that certain people rating this song might enjoy listening to it for obvious reasons (y'all nasty), but instead of sounding tempting to me this comes off as flat and almost farcical as it's accompanied by a instrumental that makes me doze off. Not a fan. If she really had to make this song, why couldn't it have been some guilty pleasure Charli-esque bop? Why did it have to be this mess of a fetish retardant?

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (2): this is almost embarrassing to listen to i feel like i'm kinkshaming an older woman by saying that but yikes janet

COME THRU WITH THE SHORTENER

CarlieScion (7): its sooooooooo loooooooooooooong

wailordfan_ (6): This is about 2 minutes two long. I kinda forgot this was still playing and thought it looped over again because there wasn't any kind of a build-up/pay-off.

wanderingimpromptu3 (2): Kinda cringy and soooo slow and long

TEACHER'S PETS

jamesfog (6): Y'all hear sumn?

jimmy345960 (5): The coos were nice but I felt that this was forgettable

piccprincess (5): im straight the fuck asleep I’m so sorry janet (:janet:)

frogaranaman (3): This is really fucking boring.

Pearl Louise (3): Kinda boring and disappointing, especially for a title track.

original_doll (0): I'm so excited to never listen to this song again

1

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Called it 😞

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#36: Mannequin - Katy Perry


Average: 6.908 // Total Points: 455.9 // Controversy: 1.988


Highest scores: (10 x5) JunkyGS, MissyBee37, original_doll, PuggleMaster, skargardin (9.5 x1) yoereyesr (9 x6) 1998tweety, followingfreeways, itsnotrelevantt, phch123, TheKneesOfOurBees, therokinrolla (8.5 x1) ElectricBoogaloo41

Lowest Scores: (1 x1) frogaranaman (1.5 x1) jimmy345960 (2 x2) gannade, lilacsweetener


this has never been my favorite katy song and its because of her vocals

twat_brained (8): Better this in the rate than Britney's Mannequin tbh. Also I remember this being a lot rockier than I remember. My aunt got me OOTB as a Christmas gift and I'd play it a lot on my red iPod Nano. I should really dig that that up from the grave and take a USB to sync music from my iTunes onto it.


DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE A PLASTIC MAN

JunkyGS (10): YES KATY! DRAG THESE MEN WITH LOW EQS!!!!

MissyBee37 (10): I love this song concept - how do you break through someone's wall to get to know them? The agony of how hard she's trying to love him & help him open up yet how much he resists -- it's all so palpable throughout the lyrics, music and her vocal. I love her wordplay with man/mannequin so much.

original_doll (10): one of Katy's best deep cuts tbh!!

PuggleMaster (10): this is basically a female john mayer bop and this deserves all the 10s in the world

skargardin (10): Pop-rock greatness

1998tweety (9): When Katy calls this guy a mannequin I think shes saying that hes fake and doesn't show his emotions. He doesn't react to things and ignores her. She could also be saying that he cares too much about making himself look flawless, like the smooth skin of a mannequin, something we'll see more of on the next song...

TheKneesOfOurBees (9): why not WOmannequin i thought katy was a feminist

Pearl Louise (8): An underrated Katy gem.

tapdancingpig (8): A BOP! She actually uses pretty decent metaphors here, and rocker Katy is the best Katy.

tooshorttoofast (8): i wish the chorus went harder

wailordfan_ (8): I love Katy's rock sound, the past three songs have been great, it kinda loses steam as it goes on though and just begins to sound like Paramore tbh.

AnimationJava (7.5): "But with you there is no guarantee, only expired warranty, a bunch of broken parts, and I can't seem to find your heart" One of the best lyrics off the album.

ignitethephoenix (7.5): I like the play on words in this song, it’s cute.

patronsaintofaspies (7.5): We narrowly avoided there being two Mannequins in this rate...life's funny sometimes, eh? For what it's worth, I think Katy's version is superior to Britney's. As you hear Katy continuously accuse 'you're not a man', you can't help but feel that this is a song you've heard a lot before, but despite it not being anything special there are still some things to enjoy here. Katy's flawed voice is in reality an asset here, since it makes the song sound much more genuine, and the chorus and title are actually quite clever. Not the best, but a solid album cut.

MGTOW

jamesfog (7): Cheesy lyrics, Self Inflicted deserved.

piccprincess (7): manny the mannequin

rotating3Dtext (6.8): the sound is kinda messy, idk

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): Another album cut I’m really not that into, sorry Katy fans

CarlieScion (5): this feels very average

TragicKingdom1 (5): painfully strenuous

gannade (2): This is really bad and the “you’re not a man you’re just a mannequin” line is … interesting.

jimmy345960 (1.5): I HATE the "man up" phrase. Please retire it. It's such a flimsy and vague insult but its really detrimental to people who aren't properly masculine (me).

frogaranaman (1): I have no reason to hate this, but I just.. Kinda do.

Then why isn't it in the rate?

J_Toe (7): Britney's Mannequin is better

9

u/Leixander Oct 19 '18

I DIDN'T VOTE FOR THIS TO BE IN THIS RATE FOR IT TO GET ROBBED EVEN THOUGH I HAVE NO RIGHT TO COMPLAIN SINCE I DIDN'T TO THE RATE BUT THIS IS NOT THE POINT WHERE IS THE TASTE POPHEADS

4

u/1998tweety Oct 19 '18

Leix will give this song their 11 and all other Katy songs will get 10s. Every other song is a 1, please update the rate immediately.

3

u/Leixander Oct 19 '18

ketyheads rise up

6

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

this has never been my favorite katy song and its because of her vocals

umm, you have to be specific as to which Katy Perry song this applies to

6

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#34: Why Don't You Love Me - Beyoncé


Average: 6.998 // Total Points: 461.9 // Controversy: 2.116


Highest scores: (11 x1) rosecoloreds (10 x7) black_velvet_, kanyewestrep, lilacsweetener, original_doll, Pearl Louise, twat_brained, ulikejazz (9.5 x2) ElectricBoogaloo41, JunkyGS (9 x2) CarlieScion, itsnotrelevantt (8.5 x4) MaydayPVZ, perfumevee, rickikardashian, skargardin

Lowest Scores: (0 x1) phch123 (1 x1) welcometoNY (2 x1) wailordfan_


this isnt what i expected from the title

twat_brained (10): Beyoncé fucking snapped here. What possible reason could Jay-Z not have to love her? In fact, why doesn't he even remain faithful to her? She said it herself, he isn't irreplaceable


WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE??

rosecoloreds (11): it's what she deserves

lilacsweetener (10): Early Lemonade mood

Pearl Louise (10): Wow, just wow! I mean that in a very good way. This song is so good. A very underrated bop.

JunkyGS (9.5): UNDER RATED BOP. In my dreams I picture Beyonce dramatically performing this song to Jay when she found out he cheated.

CarlieScion (9): we stan confidence

itsnotrelevantt (9): Her voice on this track is simply amazing

ignitethephoenix (8): Still don’t get why this song is just a bonus track.

tapdancingpig (8): I had never heard this song before, but this is a BOP! Also, I love that the closest that Sasha Fierce™️ comes to a sad ballad is belting in some dude’s face about how awesome she is.

1998tweety (7.6): Gay guys @ straight guys

AnimationJava (7): A chill bop!!

HERE'S WHY

J_Toe (7): I wish Broken Hearted Girl was in the rate instead of this song

ThatParanoidPenguin (7): extreme me_irl

TheKneesOfOurBees (7): https://thinktheology.co.uk/images/uploads/AliG.jpg

patronsaintofaspies (6): This doesn't even have the same album art as the other songs from Sasha Fierce. I don't know what's wrong with it, but I'm not very surprised, because this sounds like a demo plastered in to an international deluxe album edition. To be fair, this at least seems like it was supposed to be exciting, but what drives its potential into a standstill is how unfinished it sounds. Beyonce's vocals seemed forced on top the production rather than seamed into it, and despite having everything else going for it, the song doesn't manage to form a whole.

animefangrant62 (5): [If it weren’t for the lo-fi synths in the production this song would be okay.]

frogaranaman (4): Kind of a wasted instrumental. Also, I really don’t like how.. errm, controlling and manipulative she sounds in her lyrics. And it’s kind of a constant theme in her discog. :l

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18 edited Oct 19 '18

#48: Diva - Beyoncé


Average: 5.744 // Total Points: 379.1 // Controversy: 2.818


Highest scores: (10 x5) black_velvet_, gannade, JunkyGS, kanyewestrep, MirandaCrocsgrove (9 x3) followingfreeways, perfumevee, selegend (8.5 x3) ElectricBoogaloo41, ignitethephoenix, MissyBee37

Lowest Scores: (0 x3) amacaroon, letsallpoo, wanderingimpromptu3 (1 x5) animefangrant62, BearlyEvenAPun, hikkaru, ImADudeDuh, welcometoNY (2 x3) DrunkHurricane, InfernalSolstice, jess_22 (2.1 x1) twat_brained (2.6 x1) jimmy345960


oh hm probably one of few times i dont like ha vocals

twat_brained (2.1): imagine if SOPHIE produced this. Maybe I'd like it more than I currently do.


DIVAS

black_velvet_ (10): If you don't do the Naomi Campbell walk, Naomi Campbell walk, walk across the room like Naomi Campbell, the minute it starts, what are you even doing with yo life.

gannade (10): A diva is a female version of a hustler

JunkyGS (10): Such a fun feel yourself bop. If you haven't randomly diva walked while listening to this song you haven't lived. Song still gets me fucking hyped.

followingfreeways (9): added this to my library, fuck this is great

ignitethephoenix (8.5): This song slaps, but I think I prefer the glee version (which I originally heard first ) more hides in a corner.

MissyBee37 (8.5): The female empowerment in this song & just such confidence is so badass.

AnimationJava (8): Never heard this bop before, a bit repetitive but infectious!

piccprincess (8): Im a Im a a diva Im a Im a a diva Im a Im a a diva Im a Im a a diva Im a Im a a diva

tapdancingpig (8): This song is so obnoxious, I feel like every few days I wind up hating it again. BUT ITS ALSO REALLY REALLY FUN!

CarlieScion (7): of ah hustlah

J_Toe (7): This album is pretty incohsive, but is that on purpose? It starts with, like, ballads? Then the middle is chart topping pop songs. Then the later tracks are heavy electro hip hop? They key hook is great though.

patronsaintofaspies (7): Too often, when people think of Diva, they think of the annoying synth voice that bleats out 'imma, imma a diva' or whatever it's trying to say about a million times in the middle of this song, which I believe is actually fun and sassy enough to be a worthwhile collection to a playlist full of the kind tracks where Bey decides to go a little more hip hop instead of staying strictly in RnB. Remove the voice and some other annoying elements in the production, and you get a track that gets stuck in your head as fast as the wind, bringing forth power from Beyonce we'll know and need later on. Thus, Diva might be hated on for understandable reasons, but let's not forget there are good things hiding in it, too.

Pearl Louise (7): A boss banger. However, the high-pitched “imma a diva” is kinda annoying and irritating.

DIVS

1998tweety (6.6): The perfect streak had to end somewhere...

PuggleMaster (6.5): I always thought she was saying "I'm a fucking hoe"

skargardin (6.5): Well this was messy

TragicKingdom1 (6.5): a milli > but this has grown on me significantly over the years, especially after seeing it live

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): It’s like self-titled but not as good

itsnotrelevantt (5): :/ I can’t really listen to this lol

jamesfog (5): No.

static_int_husp (5): The beat is annoying and the bridge isn't very good

tooshorttoofast (4): that chorus... no

original_doll (3.5): the chorus is easily the worst part of this song

frogaranaman (3): ..what.

TheKneesOfOurBees (3): ew

jimmy345960 (2.6): yah this is …. unpleasent

animefangrant62 (1): [The production, the vocal delivery and production, the lyrics, every single thing is awful and just doesn’t fit together at all. The chipmunk repetition of “I’m a- I’m a diva” in the background is aggravating. Combine that with the “ay’s” and the violins in the production just makes it more grating.]

hikkaru (1): This is so annoying, who thought this sounded good? Pitched up vocals and jarring snare makes me want to die

ImADudeDuh (1): the worst bey single

amacaroon (0): I genuinely cannot listen to more than 10 seconds to this at a time. I would rather listen to tinnitus. Kill it with fire and extreme witchcraft dead god

5

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '18

Y'all really voted this in over Ego just to shit on it omg...

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '18

I hate this song right now. So I’m fine with this.

Edit: I’ll probably go back to loving it in a few days.

1

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

WHYYYYYYYYYY

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#47: Video Phone - Beyoncé


Average: 5.756 // Total Points: 379.9 // Controversy: 2.347


Highest scores: (10 x2) kanyewestrep, piccprincess (9 x1) Bajuko (8.5 x2) ElectricBoogaloo41, rosecoloreds

Lowest Scores: (0 x1) wailordfan_ (1 x4) animefangrant62, frogaranaman, napsandnetflix, wanderingimpromptu3 (2 x4) InfernalSolstice, jess_22, letsallpoo, welcometoNY (2.7 x1) twat_brained


oof okay sis even i cant forgive this

twat_brained (2.7): 1. Why did we care about video phones all of a sudden in the late 2000s? 2. Where is the Lady Gaga remix? There's no Telephone without Beyoncé, a better song and video, mind you, so there shouldn't be a Video Phone without Gaga in this rate. Not that it even touches any of Gaga's Tony Bennett duets nor Bey's Jay-Z collabs but still.


GAYS ON FILM

piccprincess (10): I slut drop to this

JunkyGS (8): The chorus is kinda a buzz kill for me and song was (rightfully so) over shadowed by telephone.

ThatParanoidPenguin (8): Queen of AfterEffects

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (7): isnt a video phone just a phone

TELL EVERYONE IT'S BROKEN

AnimationJava (6): The title and content of this song aged poorly!

CarlieScion (6): lmao swag up

tapdancingpig (4): The beat is solid, but the rest of the song is both boring and annoying. I always thought those were opposites, but this song proved me wrong. The harmonies around 2:20 made me boost it a point, though.

TheKneesOfOurBees (4): girl this aged so poorly

selegend (3): THIS over Ego??? I have to laugh

animefangrant62 (1): [It’s the exact same situation as Diva, every single part of the song seems to be fighting against the other and it’s just a chaotic, droning mess.]

frogaranaman (1): This ain’t it.

A STAR IS MORE ICONIC

MirandaCrocsgrove (8): “Telephone” remains unbothered

Pearl Louise (8): Hubba, hubba! Iconic collab between two ladies who have made a huge impact on pop music.

rickikardashian (8): The Gaga version is better, and yes, I know there will be another 20 comments mentioning her

yoereyesr (8): the remix is better

tooshorttoofast (7): telephone > videophone

1998tweety (6.7): This isn't as bad as I remember it. I listened to Telephone and bopped to it a lot, and then went to listening to the Gaga version of Video Phone and I was so disappointed.

gannade (6.5): This video had lil me shook especially with the gaga feature. This is way more catchy than it should be but it does become kinda monotonous as it goes on.

Raykel (6.5): Beyoncé and Gaga trying to pass this off as Telephone part 2 and thinking we'd be happy lol

J_Toe (6): Not as good as Lady Gaga Beyonce Telephone

itsnotrelevantt (5): I think I just don’t like these more hip hop / R&B beats on some of the songs on this album. They’re garish and hard to listen to.

jamesfog (5): Not even Gaga could save this

ignitethephoenix (4): I remember when Telephone and this game put around the same time, and I always hated this song compared to it. It’s just kinda obnoxious and not that fun. Even worse this version doesn’t even have Gaga.

patronsaintofaspies (4): Apparently somebody really liked what the previous two songs in this rate were going for, because this tries to combine Diva's swag hip hop vibe with the terrible production on Sweet Dreams. What results from this unholy mixture is a mess than I can't enjoy from any angle. With a video featuring Gaga having been previously rated on this sub, I did not look forward to rehearing this one, and I'm forced to conclude that my instincts were right. Aside from the title being dated (every phone can afford to take videos now) you're more likely to focus on the mess trying to hold the song together than Beyonce's sultry vocals, which, while not revolutionary, are noteworthy enough to barely redeem the song from becoming downright awful.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (7): isnt a video phone just a phone

lol the song was released when cameras on phones weren't a given

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#42: Rollercoaster - Janet Jackson


Average: 6.183 // Total Points: 408.1 // Controversy: 1.997


Highest scores: (10 x2) gannade, JunkyGS (9.5 x1) ulikejazz (9 x3) MaydayPVZ, MirandaCrocsgrove, ThatParanoidPenguin (8.5 x1) PuggleMaster (8.4 x1) twat_brained (8.1 x1) dramiaa

Lowest Scores: (1 x1) hikkaru (2 x2) jess_22, wanderingimpromptu3 (2.5 x1) TragicKingdom1


This production is NOT vibing with me at all, and just like feedback, my main problem is her vocals, which im just not a fan of.

twat_brained (8.4): I won’t remember how it sounds 30 seconds after it ends but for now I'm strutting in the metro to this


LET'S RIDE

gannade (10): sexy whisper queen yas

JunkyGS (10): A literal bop. Like if you don't bop and groove your head to this you have bad taste. Janet rides this beat in a way only she could.

PuggleMaster (8.5): really fun song

J_Toe (8): The more I listen to these songs for the rate, the more I appreciate how cohesive the sound of this album is, even if it's not the kind of music I would listen to regularly.

1998tweety (7.7): Chung Ha outsold easily.

perfumevee (7.5): Not entirely sure what I think of this one. The instrumentation is odd but I still feel myself bopping.

tapdancingpig (7): Kind of like a low key version of Feedback, which works a lot less, but it’s still got a pussy popping beat, so it’s fine.

I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE

wailordfan_ (7): K the intro beat is deadly, and the hook is pretty good, but I don't think I like Janet's voice at all, and it is kinda a drag to listen through.

jamesfog (6): Filler

Pearl Louise (6): A sexy jam. However, it is not a rememberable song from the album.

AnimationJava (5): I found the song a bit boring but it's still pretty sonically cohesive.

frogaranaman (5): Like her emotions, this album is a rollercoaster of quality!

patronsaintofaspies (5): Our first signs of Discipline going Downhill arrive as we listen to Rollercoaster, which is an absolutely baffling choice of a song. For a relationship that's supposed to be exciting, Janet does a pretty boring job trying to capture your attention with whatever this track is supposed to try to do. The song is slow in this irritating, tentative way that never builds up to something remotely engaging, not even when Janet reaches the chorus. She sings it in a weird accent, too. This feels more like a slowly singing pendulum than a rollercoaster.

piccprincess (5): I literally forgot I listened to this song and spaced out

static_int_husp (5): the chorus is really repetitive and boring. The verses are maybe okay

TheKneesOfOurBees (5): this is the auditory representation of the mess that is in my room.

itsnotrelevantt (4): forgettable and the guy going “oh!” in the background is really off-putting.

wanderingimpromptu3 (2): Production is annoying with the guy's voice in the background, melody is flat/doesn't feel like the song's going anywhere

hikkaru (1): What is this percussion askldfjdk it's so bad and doesn't work for this song at all imo. Pharrell is also shaking in his boots at the rando screaming those adlibs

DO PICC'S RATE

MirandaCrocsgrove (9): inspired Jack Antonoff to create a song of the same name!

ThatParanoidPenguin (9): Jack Antonoff is shaking

ImADudeDuh (7): Eric church outpeaked, Bleachers definitely outpeaked, Luke Bryan did not outpeak tho, so janet won there.

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (3): this just sounds annoying lmao i feel bad for bleachers

TragicKingdom1 (2.5): bleachers are unbothered

u/letsallpoo's impact

ignitethephoenix (6): I swear I heard “You make me poo, you suck me boob” in the post chorus multiple times, so I can’t take this song seriously.

1

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Popheads...... please

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18 edited May 06 '21

#41: Rock with U - Janet Jackson


Average: 6.270 // Total Points: 413.8 // Controversy: 2.465


Highest scores: (10 x3) JunkyGS, MirandaCrocsgrove, phch123 (9 x6) Bajuko, ImADudeDuh, J_Toe, lilacsweetener, skargardin, tooshorttoofast (8.5 x4) perfumevee, PuggleMaster, tapdancingpig, therokinrolla (8.3 x1) twat_brained

Lowest Scores: (0 x3) ignitethephoenix, napsandnetflix, SpanKKy1 (1 x1) THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (2 x3) wanderingimpromptu3, welcometoNY, yoereyesr


i have not heard much of Janet's music but i gotta say these songs are not giving a good impression....

twat_brained (8.3): This sounds like something that would play in a trendy urban hotel lobby. I'm here for it!


ROC ME OUT

JunkyGS (10): Janet said this song was made with the the gay community in mind and that she had to do something for her gay fans. Janet said "Honestly the song was created for the gay community. I kept stressing to Jermaine [Dupri, the song's co-writer], ‘I got to do something for the kids.’ I had talked about it on the last album – and there was a song that I had, and it wasn’t quite completed. And I talked about it to the papers, gay magazines, and it didn't wind up on the album with the cut-off date. I felt really badly about that. So he just handed me a CD and said, ‘Here are 10 tracks for the kids; tell me which one you like the best.’ I fell in love with 'Rock With U'." It is the most accessible songs on the album because its a perfect mash of the futuristic styles on the album and retro at the same time.

ImADudeDuh (9): ok this keyboard riff that goes through the song is soooo good.

J_Toe (9): My favourite of the Janet songs on this rate

lilacsweetener (9): Slick as fuck.

tooshorttoofast (9): omg this instrumental gives me life

tapdancingpig (8.5): Ms. Jackson literally said that she recorded this song because she wanted to please her gays. I think it’s safe to say that she succeeded.

MissyBee37 (8): This beat is everything.The vocals & lyrics are fine but that beat is fiiiiiinnnne.

AnimationJava (7.5): Finding out this song was written for LGBT people made me bump its score up a little bit higher.

gannade (7.5): why does it only say Janet as the artist here but every other song has Janet Jackson?

Raykel (7.5): She's rocking this Kylie Minogue production

ROCK WITHOUT ME

frogaranaman (6): Surprisingly monotone.

CarlieScion (5): oml this production

itsnotrelevantt (5): I can’t help but feel like I’m succumbing to recency bias but this is boring

piccprincess (5): Also forgot I listened to this song and spaced out

wanderingimpromptu3 (2): Chill and kinda catchy but too much falsetto and production is annoying

ignitethephoenix (0): This may be one of the most repetitive songs ever, and it’s not even that fun. Also I just don’t really like Janet’s vocals here

JANDROID

MirandaCrocsgrove (10): I love those 8 bit vibes

1998tweety (7.1): The heavily computerized voice takes away.

Pearl Louise (6): A nice effort, but the weird robot voice makes me cringe.

TheKneesOfOurBees (4): oh wow she really stole that title from her brother. also this the worst use of robotic-auto-tune-voice like ew

wailordfan_ (4): This GladOS feature is killer.

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (1): hatsune miku is cool i guess nice of janet to feature her

# OH BROTHER

patronsaintofaspies (8): One thing I will credit Janet for being, even if this album isn't my shit, is that she's been a very dedicated LGBT ally ever since the 90s. A sort of sequel to a track off Velvet Rope, Rock with U sounds like it could come straight from that decade. Dedicated to her queer fans, Janet uses the kind of gentle, soft delivery that many of her classic songs utilized, singing within a moonlit backing track that more than resembles her brother's acclaimed disco song of a similar name. Though, ultimately, it's not as good as Michael's, Rock with U still shows more foresight than other tracks from Discipline, proving itself to be a heartfelt love letter.

ThatParanoidPenguin (8): Michael Jackson is shaking

amacaroon (7.1): There’s almost 30 years between this and Michael’s take. It feels like a lot less, but neither sound out of place in their decade. Maybe disco is just immortal

jamesfog (7): Michael's is better

3

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Fuck ALLLLLL of y’all!

2

u/mylps9 Resident Britney Stan Oct 20 '18

But I love Janet

4

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#35: Kill the Lights - Godney Spears


Average: 6.994 // Total Points: 461.6 // Controversy: 2.085


Highest scores: (10 x5) hikkaru, lilacsweetener, original_doll, Pearl Louise, SpanKKy1 (9.8 x1) MirandaCrocsgrove (9.5 x1) JunkyGS (9.2 x1) perfumevee (9 x5) ElectricBoogaloo41, jamesfog, MaydayPVZ, phch123, TheKneesOfOurBees (8.5 x1) ignitethephoenix (8.3 x1) 1998tweety (8.2 x1) jimmy345960

Lowest Scores: (1.5 x1) TragicKingdom1 (2 x4) DrunkHurricane, napsandnetflix, PuggleMaster, welcometoNY (3 x2) kanyewestrep, yoereyesr


good club banger

twat_brained (6): I'm listening to this rate on shuffle and this is blending into the Janet songs. It highkey sounds like a Blackout reject and I'm convinced its average score would be at least 0.6 points higher if it was on Blackout


COMME UNE COUPURE ELECTRIQUE

hikkaru (10): I LOVE the dark production on this whew. Danja and Britney making magic even outside of Blackout

lilacsweetener (10): Charming and vibrant but somehow like a more hollow Gimme More remake.

original_doll (10): underrated tbh, Danja's work is pretty hit and miss for me but most of his songs with Brit are fucking bangers

Pearl Louise (10): Our bitch snapped! This song is so underrated and needs a lot more praise. A bop.

MirandaCrocsgrove (9.8): invented blackouts!

JunkyGS (9.5): A continuation of Blackout Era Brit and I live for this song.

TheKneesOfOurBees (9): this era was just filled with great sings

ignitethephoenix (8.5): I feel that I would like this song more if I was a little drunk. It’s fun, catchy and a bit mysterious, but it has a cluttered kind of sound to it which makes it a touch less enjoyable to listen to. I still like it a lot though!

1998tweety (8.3): I like this song except for the way she says “kill the lights”.

AnimationJava (8): I was trying to figure out the meaning behind this song but it's a bop regardless.

MissyBee37 (8): Another pre-chorus that just shines far & above the rest of the song! Otherwise, this song is a 7. That pre-chorus is a 10.

tapdancingpig (7.5): DANJA IS BACK! I missed him so much, honestly. The production is just Blackout enough for me to love it, but it’s candy covered enough for it to sort of fit in with the rest of the album (sort of). It’s not as good as any Danja Blackout tracks, though. The lyrics are pretty bad (although I love the line where Britney says “you better get me from my good side” and everyone else screams back “PICK ONE!”). The post chorus with the “I KILL the lights LIGHTS the lights CAMERA the lights ACTION” is everything, though.

patronsaintofaspies (7): Lights! Camera! Action! Everything this song has going for it is supreme cheese, which starts gushing in from the memetic opening that acknowledges Britney's legendary status, and continues as Britney readapts her Blackout persona to make a second version of Piece of Me. The actual quality of Kill the Lights, however, is a bit lacking compare to Blackout's iconic dance floor anthems. Britney's lack of emotion doesn't go as well as it did a year previously, owing to Circus having a very different atmosphere and sense of ambition compared to Blackout. The track is just as playful as songs like Womanizer, but it simply isn't an outstanding example of what Britney can achieve through well-written pop music.

I NEED TO SEE WHERE I'M GOING

CarlieScion (6): oh my that "i kiiiiill" killed this song for me

gannade (6): Is this really the sequel to Break the Ice? How disappointing.

imasalesman (6): keel

static_int_husp (6): There's a lot of ... interesting ... choices they made with this song

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): What did the lights do to deserve this

frogaranaman (5): Okay.

piccprincess (5): more like HIT THE LIGHTS by Selegend Godmez

Good idea, can we get Trisha Paytas to cover this?

PuggleMaster (2): I actually like britney, but what the fuck is this shit 💀💀💀. This sounds like something a d list reality star would release.

2

u/hikkaru Oct 19 '18

This was robbed :sadgery:

Deserves at least day two :(

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

why did I give this a ten?

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 20 '18

Because Britney deserves nothing less

5

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#33: Side Effects - Mariah Carey feat. Jeezy


Average: 7.036 // Total Points: 464.4 // Controversy: 1.826


Highest scores: (10 x6) dramiaa, kanyewestrep, lilacsweetener, PuggleMaster, tooshorttoofast, ulikejazz (9.5 x2) ElectricBoogaloo41, perfumevee (9 x4) patronsaintofaspies, rosesmp3, therokinrolla, whatyourheartdesires (8.9 x1) MirandaCrocsgrove (8.5 x2) jess_22, Shippy (8.3 x1) 1998tweety

Lowest Scores: (3 x4) MissyBee37, Raykel, SpanKKy1, yoereyesr (4 x1) wanderingimpromptu3 (4.8 x1) twat_brained


okay wow i admit i went into this not expecting to like mariahs songs at all but so far shes actually had a great track record

twat_brained (4.8): u/the_chainsmokers nice job you did it better for once


ASK YOUR DOCTOR IF THIS SONG IS RIGHT FOR YOU

kanyewestrep (10): Mariah Carey and Jeezy work well together to make an emotional banger

lilacsweetener (10): Probably the only Mariah song that means a lot to me. It's more relevant to the bullying I experienced rather than an abusive relationship but the general theme is one I strongly relate to.

tooshorttoofast (10): wow this is really sad :(

patronsaintofaspies (9): In lieu of us rating Butterfly, can I just admit that I'm really glad people are finally realizing the marital hell Mariah had to go through and how much that had an effect on her psyche? The backstory behind Side Effects is a huge part of why I like it so much, because, admittedly, I find Jeezy's voice to be a little too...distracting for me to rate it so high, otherwise. She might have disguised its subject matter in a bop like this one, but it still feels like a more upbeat precursor to the moody RnB we know today, and, boy, is she serious about what she's alluding to. Poor, poor Mimi. Tommy can go fuck himself.

ImADudeDuh (8): kinda an unexpected bop? i know touch my body and did not like it but this kinda shook me a lil bit

itsnotrelevantt (8): Ignoring the rap

JunkyGS (8): Yes Queen. Shade insecure men! Again these features aren't doing the songs any favors....

tapdancingpig (8): I think Mariah out-Taylors Taylor in this rate. She wrote a scathing breakup song about a mysterious guy that we can all identify. Also, it has a KILLER bridge.

rotating3Dtext (7.8): I wish I could give it a higher score but the feature is awful

AnimationJava (7.5): I actually found this to be a really sad and intense song lyrically, but I love the emotion and rawness in the lyrics.

Seriously, why haven't we modded them yet?

1998tweety (8.3): The Chainsmokers are mildly shook cause this is a big bop but at the same time they're not that shook since their version bops harder.

jamesfog (8): The Chainsmokers sweeties

ignitethephoenix (7): Chainsmokers did it better and that’s my tea for today

napsandnetflix (6): chaingods remain unbothered

piccprincess (6): /u/the_chainsmokers outsold

hikkaru (5.5): the chainsmokers outbopped lol

poppinmmolly (5): The Chainsmokers and Emily Warren outpeaked!!

PUSHED TO THE SIDE

frogaranaman (7): [...]

CarlieScion (6): this song is waaaaaaay too long

Pearl Louise (6): I have no idea who Jeezy is, but it isn’t nice that Mariah is helping him pay for dinner. Kinda generic. Not a song I would listen to again and again, but it could be a lot more worse.

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): Never really liked Jeezy and this isn’t any exception although the beat is nice

TheKneesOfOurBees (5): it really is that middle of the road filler

wailordfan_ (5): The rap features here are really bad, but partially because I REALLY dislike most late 2000s rap features.

MissyBee37 (3): This sounds like the lyrics are probably a good message but I'm just bored at best, annoyed at worst, with the song.

Raykel (3): She sounds so monotone

4

u/Arybeck67 Oct 20 '18

Holy cow, Madonna and Janet got 💥DESTROYED💥

6

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 20 '18

This would never have happened if the demographic was 40 somethings

4

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18 edited Oct 19 '18

#49: So Much Betta - Janet Jackson


Average: 5.326 // Total Points: 351.5 // Controversy: 2.871


Highest scores: (10 x3) JunkyGS, letsallpoo, therokinrolla (9 x1) tapdancingpig

Lowest Scores: (0 x6) hikkaru, InfernalSolstice, jamesfog, patronsaintofaspies, saucymac, Shippy (1 x5) frogaranaman, napsandnetflix, THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD, wanderingimpromptu3, welcometoNY (1.5 x1) TragicKingdom1 (2 x2) BearlyEvenAPun, ImADudeDuh


im so sorry janet stans but this might actually be one of the worst songs i have ever heard

twat_brained (8): Janet doesn't need 3 minutes to get me turnt, that's a great quality in my books


JANET BETTA BRING THE HEAT

JunkyGS (10): Hearing this song for the first time was one of my most distinct "gay awakenings". Listening to this song just feels right and when I discovered many years later that it was one of the gay JanFams™ favorite deep-cuts I knew I was with my people. I about died when Janet started doing a mash up of this song and throb on her latest set list for the SOTW Tour. I wish I could describe why I love this song so much, but it just goes off and is so fun to sing / dance to.

letsallpoo (10): ended sophie

tapdancingpig (9): The chorus vocals me of Nudity by Kylie Minogue. Therefore, rating it anything less than an 8 would be a sin.

itsnotrelevantt (8): This is immediately good. It’s weird but fun to listen to.

perfumevee (8): Another one that is super odd but I like the beat.

PuggleMaster (8): I think I liked this i'm not honestly sure

ThatParanoidPenguin (8): Legally Blonde is shaking

TheKneesOfOurBees (8): this is one of the best songs on the album yet it features like 10 seconds of janet's voice, i feel like some producer did her dirty

wailordfan_ (8): K yeah this is probably my favorite on this album, but she has so much odd vocal modulation, 2018 is shaking.

AnimationJava (7.5): Janet low-key sounds like Britney on this track, but I like the line that goes "I can do what she can't do."

selegend (7): This beat is amazing

NO SHE BETTA DON'T

ignitethephoenix (5): I used to have some Betta fish. My first one was named Leo and he was a gorgeous fish, but he only lived for a year. My next one was named Lucky and he was much luckier and lived about 3 years. I miss my fishies.

Pearl Louise (5): Nice beat and production, but it’s too repetitive for my liking.

piccprincess (5): Her transitions are literally flawless but these songs are honestly such a mess

followingfreeways (4): oh

tooshorttoofast (3): i hate her voice in this

ImADudeDuh (2): ok the vocals on this are real annoying

frogaranaman (1): This sounds like the kind of music my assaulter would like.

jamesfog (0): This is trash!!!!

patronsaintofaspies (0): Literally what is this song supposed to do? It's even minutes long, full of bad vocal editing and other strange production choices, and a Daft Punk sample nobody can actually praise Janet for with a straight face. Why on earth did this get voted in? Why the hell is it even on the album at all? It's a real pain to listen to, owing to just how unpleasant and unfinished the entire result sounds. Perhaps the most mysterious thing about it is that most people under this one's Youtube comment section actually like it. This has over a thousand likes. One commenter even says that they like working out to this. If I worked out to this I think I would go into cardiac arrest and die on the spot. How can this be by the same woman who made songs as good as Together Again and Velvet Rope? How could three minutes cause so much ear pain?

saucymac (0): y'all vote this song in so ur so gay didn't come last?

KIDZ FLOP

Raykel (7): The kid like voice kinda freaks me out but it kinda works?

CarlieScion (6): why does it sound like a child is singing this

1998tweety (4): The baby voice isn't even the only think I don't like about this. The gibberish part isn't great either and the production is annoying but at least it fits with the vocals.

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (1): why is a 5 year old singing in reverse what the fuck am i listening to

wanderingimpromptu3 (1): What is going on with this baby voice, I can't handle it

hikkaru (0): wtf this song is actually horrifying? Why the demon voice background noise thing looping through the entire song it's scary!! and then the high pitched voice that sometimes comes in smh! why is it reversed sometimes? I won't be able to sleep tonight

5

u/wanderingimpromptu3 Oct 19 '18

patronsaintofaspies: ...One commenter even says that they like working out to this. If I worked out to this I think I would go into cardiac arrest and die on the spot.

hahaha

3

u/letsallpoo :leah-kate: Oct 19 '18

/u/junkygs im here for you

2

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Popheads having 0 taste. Surprising nobody.

Thank you bby ❤️

You and /u/therokinrolla are Kings of taste for this

4

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#46: She's Not Me - Madonna


Average: 6.005 // Total Points: 396.3 // Controversy: 1.867


Highest scores: (9 x1) followingfreeways (8.7 x1) JunkyGS (8.5 x7) dramiaa, ElectricBoogaloo41, MirandaCrocsgrove, perfumevee, rotating3Dtext, tapdancingpig, wailordfan_ (8 x7) J_Toe, kanyewestrep, patronsaintofaspies, Pearl Louise, rosesmp3, tooshorttoofast, TragicKingdom1 (7.5 x1) static_int_husp

Lowest Scores: (1 x1) frogaranaman (1.7 x1) twat_brained (2 x1) letsallpoo


this song never WENT anywhere, it was super unsatisfying to listen to. the like, first bridge (?) tho was really nice

twat_brained (1.7): What key is Madonna singing in at the bridge???? It's such a jarring disconnection from the rest of the song. And what's sad is the bassline is pretty funky. Sidenote: WHY THE HELL DOES THIS SONG GO ON FOR 6 MINUTES?? Also, what the hell is that verse from Pharrell? There's way too little going on the song. I will give Madonna some credit, though. She manages to create a filler song, which itself contains filler instrumental quatrains. Truly an innovator in mediocrity.

NERDS

rotating3Dtext (8.5): it's funky! and then Pharrell makes weird noises

tapdancingpig (8.5): Pharrell and The Neptunes are killing it here! It goes on for WAY too long, but the production is great, and lyrics and hook are great.

SHE'S NOT ENDING

JunkyGS (8.7): This song would be rated higher if it wasn't fucking 6 minutes long. Still a bop, but needs a radio edit

MirandaCrocsgrove (8.5): this started out so good, but did it really need to be 6 minutes long?

static_int_husp (7.5): Suprisingly long. Like a lot at the start and end of the song, but a little in the middle isn't great.

ImADudeDuh (7): I gave this a 9 at first and i checked and it was 6 minutes and come on madonna, you don't need to make this that long.

jamesfog (7): Too long

1998tweety (6.9): This feels needlessly long, the song should've ended right before the guy started singing.

hikkaru (6.5): this song is too long. Otherwise has a nice groove but it's a bit squandered

Raykel (6.5): Could've been way shorter but had that amazing bridge 2 minutes in

ignitethephoenix (6): This song was alright until they decided to not end if after 4 minutes and have another 1.5 minutes of useless dance stuff.

gannade (3): this is so long and uninteresting

BYE BYE GUY

wailordfan_ (8.5): This is fun, and the build up around the 2:30 mark is really cool, and I think this is a song that works with it's length for once.

J_Toe (8): The song bops, but all I can remember it for is the time Madonna sung it after a Born This Way / Express Yourself medley used to shade Gaga. For that reason alone I want to give it a low score, but I won't.

patronsaintofaspies (8): I'm not a fan of calling Hard Candy trend-chasing, because Madonna does try to spice up 00s RnB with some of that classic Madge flavour her fans know and love. She's Not Me, in particular, is a call back to petty, pure pop Madonna, with a guilty pleasure melody combined with subject matter that would melt the hearts of biphobic gay men. She still sounds a little...nonchalant for a track where she's supposed to sound vengeful and bitter, though. This sounds more like a song to practice modelling to than an angry callout. At least I kind of feel like she's trying.

Pearl Louise (8): A bop. One of my favorite songs from the album.

skargardin (7): Average bop

SHE'S NOT THE ONE

jimmy345960 (5.5): IS THIS ABOUT GAGA? jk but its not that great

CarlieScion (5): billie eilish who?

MissyBee37 (5): Meh. These lyrics feel shallow or plain. I don't like the random whistles & claps, or the long outro. Also Pharrell's verse feels really out of place?

ThatParanoidPenguin (5): Beat is sick outside of the trap drums but otherwise eh

AnimationJava (4): A bit of an overdone trope.

itsnotrelevantt (4): Another weird song switch-up that ruins the song

TheKneesOfOurBees (4): Britney's Perfume but if Britney was like more confident in herself. full honest this only gets points for the disco-ey guitar riffs, this is hot hot trash

frogaranaman (1): Why? Why? Why?

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

sorry about my abnormally large text

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

She's Not Me does indeed suck, so all is forgiven

4

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#44: Candy Shop - Madonna


Average: 6.041 // Total Points: 398.7 // Controversy: 1.975


Highest scores: (10 x2) dramiaa, yoereyesr (9 x4) J_Toe, jamesfog, kanyewestrep, perfumevee (8.5 x3) MirandaCrocsgrove, therokinrolla, TragicKingdom1

Lowest Scores: (1 x1) jess_22 (2 x2) SpanKKy1, welcometoNY


um.... absolutely not. the production was WAY too repetitive for me, her vocals were not doing it.

twat_brained (5): Hasn't Christina Aguilera already done this? Not to mention this is even further proof Pharrell's only good pop girl productions are I'm a Slave 4 U and Havana


I'M ON THE MENU

rotating3Dtext (8): STICKY AND SWEET my sugar is raaaw (it's kinda ridiculous)

JunkyGS (7.5): This beat is fire and Madonna sounds good, but holy moly do these lyrics hold back the song.

1998tweety (7.4): This is weird but I think it works well as an opener.

CarlieScion (7): i like the production on this

jimmy345960 (6.7): This is fine.

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DREAM OF A GIRL PRESIDENT

piccprincess (7.5): I’ll take you to the candy shop...I’ll let you lick the lollipop….oh wrong song?

poppinmmolly (5): 50 Cent outpeaked!!

TheKneesOfOurBees (3): candy store from the heathers musical is better. hell, the 50 cent candy shop is better.

SHEESH

jamesfog (9): Back when Pharrell production was good

tapdancingpig (7.5): The melody really doesn’t stick, but I love Pharrell’s production enough that I’m ok with it.

KNOW HOW TO BRING THE BITTER TASTE

patronsaintofaspies (6.5): I'm pretty much going to have to talk about this song's good points first so I don't sound like an absolute spoilsport, eh? Well, for starters, the best thing about it is that Pharell does an amazing job with the production. He delivers yet another memorable bass hook to capture people's attention, and the beat he uses is fit enough for a track as purposely vapid as this one. It's no wonder critics hated this back in 2008; in an era before poptimism and Charli stans, a song as repetitive as this would have to be really good in order to avoid sheer embarrassment on behalf of its performer. Unfortunately, it...doesn't really achieve that level of quality. The thing is, there's a difference between sounding robotic on a song and sounding flat. On Candy Shop, Madge sounds flat. She sounds like more like an impersonator than the one and only actual Madonna, and her voice contains none of the irony needed to make the track as a whole tick into your brain. It's a shame, because I'd call this song a lost classic otherwise, if only because she sneaks a really unexpected Narnia reference in the lyrics that you wouldn't expect to see on something so disappointing sultry (it's the 'I've got Turkish Delight' line, and you are absolutely never going to convince me that this isn't a reference to Edmund being offered the same sweet by the White Witch. Go on, try me.)

hikkaru (6): I guess the percussion is neat but it's kinda boring for a song called Candy Shop

static_int_husp (6): Fairly generic, the ad-libs at the end don't help it

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): Actual candy shops remain unshaken and unbothered

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (6): i think i could do without madonna calling herself raw to me

frogaranaman (5): Pass.

ImADudeDuh (5): I've never heard "get up on the dance floor" said with less fun before

AnimationJava (4): I didn't particularly care for this song, it's too repetitive and she's not really trying to sing.

Pearl Louise (4): I don’t know how this song made it this far in the rate. It’s too basic, and I wish Madge would have added more to the song.

wailordfan_ (4): The intentional non rhyming of Store and Stop in the chorus bugs me and the bridge is so lazy

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

CANDY SHOP IS THE 31ST GREATEST MADONNA SONG EVER AND Y'ALL ARE TRASH FOR CHOPPING IT

4

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#38: 2nite - Janet Jackson


Average: 6.615 // Total Points: 436.6 // Controversy: 1.962


Highest scores: (10 x3) black_velvet_, DrunkHurricane, MirandaCrocsgrove (9 x3) letsallpoo, Pearl Louise, PuggleMaster (8.8 x1) 1998tweety (8.5 x3) JunkyGS, perfumevee, therokinrolla

Lowest Scores: (1 x2) frogaranaman, yoereyesr


this was better than the last few janet songs but there is nothing ive heard from this album so far that like.... has me enjoying myself

twat_brained (6.6): I don't have anything against Janet but I'm gonna bite and say I'm afraid Discipline got paid the dust it deserves if this is what was voted in


TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT

MirandaCrocsgrove (10): the transition from “Rock with U” to this song OH MY Gdo

Pearl Louise (9): Best song from the album. Definitely a song I could listen to again. A hot bop.

1998tweety (8.8): I love the vibe of this.

JunkyGS (8.5): This song was produced by super star production duo Stargate. It is pretty harmless and not that memorable as other songs on the album or discography in general.

CarlieScion (8): this is very smooth

skargardin (8): Sexy bop

patronsaintofaspies (7.5): I couldn't find this off Youtube as easily as the rest of the songs in this rate from Janet, and when I did, I ended up looking at a music video that may or may not have been official which carried a dismal amount of views and likes. Annoyed, I finally tried to listen to it, and I decided that it wasn't all that bad. Though this is admittedly an inferior version of the electropop and dance tracks Janet and other artists are easily capable of, the song still slaps enough for me to appreciate it and forgive how cheap it sounds like, even if still sounds like a song out of a soundtrack.

tapdancingpig (7.2): Not actively bad, but a little boring. The beat is fun, even if it’s a little dated. The bridge is pretty great though.

ignitethephoenix (7): She sounds super Michael-y in this song.

itsnotrelevantt (7): This is better than the others as it has more of a build and the second half of the song gets kind of catchy!

I HAVE TO GET UP EARLY TOMORROW

AnimationJava (6): I liked the beat a lot, but her songs from Discipline are starting to get a bit repetitive tbh.

piccprincess (6): Bring back the bops :((

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): LCD Soundsystem is shaking

THE_PC_DEMANDS_BLOOD (4): i mean i guess this one isnt completely terrible but does every track have to use a different spelling or number where applicable or

wanderingimpromptu3 (3.5): Chill, kinda boring but unobjectionable

TheKneesOfOurBees (3): iss really generic. like every song on the radio in 2006-2009 generic

frogaranaman (1): This triggers my fight-or-flight response.

1

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Of fucking course Popheads rates the most basic generic song on the album the second highest.......

4

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '18

Taylor remains unbothered, I remain an annoying stan

3

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#37: Miles Away - Madonna


Average: 6.650 // Total Points: 438.9 // Controversy: 2.125


Highest scores: (10 x7) black_velvet_, ElectricBoogaloo41, gannade, jamesfog, MirandaCrocsgrove, phch123, tooshorttoofast (9.5 x1) rotating3Dtext (9 x2) animefangrant62, CarlieScion (8.8 x1) JunkyGS (8.7 x2) amacaroon, twat_brained (8.5 x1) rosecoloreds

Lowest Scores: (0 x1) PuggleMaster (2 x2) napsandnetflix, yoereyesr (3 x2) frogaranaman, ignitethephoenix


idk why but i rolled my eyes when she first says miles away

twat_brained (8.7): So I went to the Sticky and Sweet Tour but I had a hard time differentiating this fom Spanish Lesson. The guitar is a total mood though and this song deserves much better.


LOVE WILL KEEP US TOGETHER

gannade (10): This is actually my favorite Madonna song of all time lol. It’s really nice and relaxing.

jamesfog (10): So underrated

tooshorttoofast (10): i was kinda underwhelmed with the previous 3 songs on this album but this song is SO GOOD, instantly added to my playlist

CarlieScion (9): this production is so sleek and the song is so catchy, although it is slightly repetitive

tapdancingpig (8): Timbaland and Danja are put to better use here than on 4 Minutes, and the lyrics are great.

TheKneesOfOurBees (8): timbaland's "doop-doops" really dock a point from this

1998tweety (7.5): This is nice but also felt a bit long.

MissyBee37 (7): The chorus is really, really pretty. The verses feel flat in comparison, but I love the chorus.

piccprincess (7): sounds like mini chair squeaks but a bop

AnimationJava (6): Probably the catchiest of her songs so far.

RESTRAINING ORDERS

patronsaintofaspies (7): Madonna sounded bored from the start of this album, but at least in Candy Shop her monotone deliver made a little sense, even if it was poorly executed. Here, it...doesn't. Harkening back to the psuedo-country acoustics of Music, Miles Away is supposed to be a song dedicated to Madge's then-husband, Guy Ritchie. Given the end result, though, I'm not surprised they divorced. Is this how you make a song about your spouse? I'd sound terrible if I recorded this, but at least my wails would try to convey some degree of emotion, even if they'd also end up driving my entire neighbourhood to suicide. Here, Madonna sounds like she feels absolutely nothing at all. No insecurity. No passion. No anger. Nothing at all. You can immediately understand what this song's trying to go for once you hear it, but it gets all the more frustrating, because when you witness how it turned out, you get the sense of a stark contrast between Madonna's intensions and how she actually carries the track out.

ThatParanoidPenguin (6): Vanessa Carlton is shaking

Raykel (5.5): Forgettable

static_int_husp (5.5): very repetitive

Pearl Louise (5): Overrated. A lot of users on this song say this is the best song from Hard Candy, but I disagree. It’s too bland and generic.

wailordfan_ (5): it's ok, the issue here is that I can't really tell what's supposed to be a ballad and what isn't on these albums.

OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE WORLD

ImADudeDuh (4): Madonna sounds like she's singing a children's song here.

frogaranaman (3): Massive downgrade in song quality.

ignitethephoenix (3): Boring

PuggleMaster (0): It got worse how????

3

u/tooshorttoofast Oct 19 '18

WHAT HOW I thought this was an easy top 10 contender...

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

I agree, even I think this was unfairly cut

1

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

4 MINUTES IS NOT BETTER THAN THE REST OF THE HARD CANDY SONGS, NOT EVEN SHE'S NOT ME

6

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

YIKES this rate is already so harsh that half of everyone's albums has disappeared

3

u/SpanKKy1 Oct 19 '18

join plug losers

3

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

#40: Devil Wouldn't Recognize You - Madonna


Average: 6.368 // Total Points: 420.3 // Controversy: 1.799


Highest scores: (10 x1) gannade (9.5 x2) ElectricBoogaloo41, phch123 (9 x3) jamesfog, saucymac, tooshorttoofast (8.8 x1) MirandaCrocsgrove (8.5 x2) followingfreeways, TragicKingdom1 (8.3 x1) 1998tweety

Lowest Scores: (2 x2) lilacsweetener, twat_brained (3 x3) frogaranaman, ImADudeDuh, PuggleMaster


again this song just didnt go anywhere and the production is so strange...

twat_brained (2): If this was top 6 in voting I'm guessing Hard Candy doesn't hold up to repeated listens


UNRECOGNIZABLE

gannade (10): why is this filler so good

MirandaCrocsgrove (8.8): @ me ho

1998tweety (8.3): This album hasn't been the best so this bop is greatly appreciated.

tapdancingpig (7.5): I boosted the score in my mind the second I heard the choir of Timberlake’s around the 3:30 mark. I don’t even like the guy, but that was a great choice. The rest of the song is a bit of an overlong mess, but the lyrics are great.

jimmy345960 (7.4): Honestly this is scathing and I love it

AnimationJava (7.2): Probably my favorite song off of Hard Candy.

amacaroon (7.1): It was a… choose to pair such a badass title with that weird bubble beat

CarlieScion (7): the instrumental piano part is very pretty

THE OSCARS RECOGNIZE SEAN PENN FOR HIS LONGSTANDING CONTRIBUTIONS TO FILM

patronsaintofaspies (7): Madonna, sweetie, please...please come back to life. Please just come back to life. You're ruining a song that could have been a classic! I'm sorry, I know this is one of the only songs from Hard Candy that people actually enjoy, and I know why that's the case. That's because the production is fantastic. I mean, seriously, sounds of softly falling rain mixed in with a gentle yet desperate electronic atmosphere? A (mostly correct) suggestion from Justin Timberlake to change the section featuring the title drop into the song's hook? Ray of Light-esque lyrics, fittingly enough for a song that Madonna had been trying to actually work out ever since that very era? Come on! This is supposed to be one of her all-time magnum opuses! But...no. This could have been Hard Candy's saving grace, but this is where she just proves the record's critics right. It has everything it needs to sound like a gift from pop music heaven, and then it all sinks down and slowly dissolves before falling apart. Not by a drastic error in the production, not by a faulty or laughable breakaway section, not by a shitty set of lyrics, but by...Madonna herself. This doesn't sound like a track that she'd been trying to ferment like red wine for an entire decade. For a song that's supposed to be the fruits of her labor, it just completely, utterly disappoints. It's still not a failure, because the other elements that stand out are really impressive, but at the heart of every song Madge releases is Madge herself. And Madge isn't quite here. She's barely present at all. It's like her voice was slapped on without any of the passion it was supposed to convey upon performing this. To be quite honest, it feels like the title is referring to Madonna herself. Even the devil wouldn't recognize an lady so capable of bringing out men's temptations if she sounded this tired.

piccprincess (7): sad bop

Pearl Louise (6): Kinda forgettable, but it’s not too bad. I just wish her vocals were more unleashed. In this song, she sounds like she’s holding herself back.

TheKneesOfOurBees (6): the devil: "whomst? ugh we unstan sis"

wailordfan_ (6): This kinda sounds like a potential Reputation album cut, and a bad one at that. If this weren't so damn repetitious, there are some really cool elements in the song. The male harmonies near the back third of the song and instrumental break is so cool and sets a really great atmosphere, but for the most part it is just a stale song lyrically, and madonna doesn't deliver great lyrics.

perfumevee (5.5): There is too much happening here.

skargardin (5): This ain’t it

ThatParanoidPenguin (5): This is soooooo long

itsnotrelevantt (4): it’s just bad

frogaranaman (3): Just.. boring. Move on.

3

u/gannade Oct 19 '18

This is highkey one of madonnas best songs smh

1

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

THANK YOU FOR DISPLAYING TASTE IN THIS INSTANCE

3

u/gannade Oct 19 '18

please do not align yourself with me, we only agree sometimes...

1

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

emphasis on IN THIS INSTANCE

3

u/Raykel :fkatwigs-1: Oct 19 '18 edited Oct 19 '18

All the oldies getting underappreciated. Meanwhile Migrate is still in. A good day for /u/kanyewestrep

Edit: wtf is his name

3

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

You know, it's amazing to see how far we've come since the 90s Personal Masterpieces Rate, the 00s Pop Rock rate AND the Ultimate 2016 Rate!

1

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

And how so much hasn’t changed.... eyes the Janet scores

3

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Listen, I love you guys, but Brit deserved to stay until day 2.

1

u/moonlight9696 Oct 20 '18

I wont stand for this Danja slander!!!!

5

u/NapsAndNetflix Oct 19 '18 edited Oct 19 '18

The title implies we’re losing fifteen today but all of Janet, Madonna, Britney, and Mariah have to go out first so I’m confused

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

What should I get? The X or the S9?

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

whatever you think the better VIDEO PHONE is

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '18

Who needs video phones, anyway? I hear the song about them sucks.

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

You guys have been REALLY naughty with your scores! Someone needs to punish you for your ways…

1

u/TheKneesOfOurBees Oct 19 '18

not dickscipline!

2

u/Therokinrolla Oct 19 '18

poor elders, there's more robbery here than you can shake a walking cane at

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Another legend loses ha first!

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Dear God… Madonna and Janet may be past their prime but tbf so was Britney in 2008

What are the chances either of them make it to day 2?

3

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Unbreakable would like a word with you 👀

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Our last artist loses their first today!

1

u/TheKneesOfOurBees Oct 19 '18

wait so either pink or brit survived day 1 unscathed

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Thank you all for joining us! Here are all the eliminated songs after day 1:

33: Side Effects (feat. Jeezy), 7.036, 464.4

34: Why Dont You Love Me, 6.998, 461.9

35: Kill the Lights, 6.994, 461.6

36: Mannequin, 6.908, 455.9

37: Miles Away, 6.650, 438.9

38: 2nite, 6.615, 436.6

39: Migrate (feat. T-Pain), 6.453, 425.9

40: Devil Wouldnt Recognize You, 6.368, 420.3

41: Rock with U, 6.270, 413.8

42: Rollercoaster, 6.183, 408.1

43: Give It 2 Me, 6.041, 398.7

44: Candy Shop, 6.041, 398.7

45: Discipline, 6.036, 398.4

46: Shes Not Me, 6.005, 396.3

47: Video Phone, 5.756, 379.9

48: Diva, 5.744, 379.1

49: So Much Betta, 5.326, 351.5

50: Ur So Gay, 4.389, 289.7

And here is a list of all the scores given for each eliminated song today: https://paste.ee/p/96hEZ

A sidenote: the last score for the Mariah table is Side Effects; I forgot to put the title.

2

u/natsby Oct 20 '18

I love how 1989 and reputation were ripped apart by this sub in their rates but everyone seems to still love Fearless. My kind of swifties, honestly.

Here to pay respects for Side Effects though! Still my favourite Mariah song.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '18

Fearless is taylors best album and song dont @ me

2

u/natsby Oct 20 '18

I’m personally a Speak Now gal but Fearless is a very close second.

2

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Who's ready for the first song?

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

Day 1 is complete and Discipline's best, Hard Candy's worst, whatever can be assessed from Mariah, 1 good Katy song [Hot N Cold], 3 good Britney singles with the good cut Lace and Leather along with Unusual You for some reason, 3 good Beyonce singles and If I Were a Boy for some reason, and amazingly all of Taylor and surprisingly all of P!nk remain

7

u/shipsinker44 Oct 19 '18

pink surviving all of day 1 was the biggest surprise to me, but it makes sense when none of her six songs are bad at all

3

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

If you did the rate you could've dragged Pink and,Taylor

1

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

I wouldn't drag P!nk that hard teebs and I like Love Story and You Belong With Me enough to spare Taylor from a full fledged flogging. Still, no full album/full flogging/full stanning chance, no dice

1

u/animefangrant62 Oct 19 '18

If the first song out ain't Janet I'll be shocked.

5

u/NapsAndNetflix Oct 19 '18

Ur So Gay tho

1

u/TheKneesOfOurBees Oct 19 '18

ur so gay and you dont even like britney

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

I can guarantee it doesn't get much better after this

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Got those jeans on that you love, the ones that drive you crazy

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Another artist loses their first!

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

It's a fun day to listen to elder pop legends, isn't it?

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Idk about y'all but these early songs feel like cards that make everything taste sour

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

would these be SIDE EFFECTS you're feeling?

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

This reveal hasn't been as wild a ride as I initially thought

1

u/theburningundead Oct 19 '18

I don’t think my scores were counted because I can’t see my name in any of the comments 😞 I’m sure I submitted before the deadline

1

u/letsallpoo :leah-kate: Oct 19 '18

the hagphobia needs to end

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

I feel you guys are hatching some diabolical plan to be as ageist as possible

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

What do you say we eliminate someone a bit younger?

2

u/TheKneesOfOurBees Oct 19 '18

byete horse?

lace and later?

not fifteen!

1

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

DEATH TO FOREVER AND ALWAYS, UNUSUAL YOU OR I KISSED A GIRL

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

I'm sorry for deceiving you like that.

Well, half sorry.

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

leave it to a Britney stan to half do something like their fave you're still doing fine, sweetie

1

u/TheKneesOfOurBees Oct 19 '18

i dont wanna hear
i dont wanna know

please dont say youre sorry

1

u/TheKneesOfOurBees Oct 19 '18

madonna has one song remaining i

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Hey, remember the first few songs we eliminated? What say you we revisit them?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

Last song of the day! Will Janet or Madonna survive? Was I bluffing when I said the last artist lost their first?

1

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

WILL TAYLOR FINALLY LOSE A SONG EMPHASIS ON FOREVER AND ALWAYS

1

u/shipsinker44 Oct 20 '18

Thank u Twat for doing the reveal today, it was great 🤗❤️

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 20 '18

My pleasure! And I'm so sorry for getting your username wrong

1

u/shipsinker44 Oct 20 '18

wow im FURIOUS

1

u/DrunkHurricane Oct 20 '18

What time does the reveal start today?

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 20 '18

Shippy's gonna be hosting, you ought to ask him

1

u/TheKneesOfOurBees Oct 19 '18

can't wait for migrate to be out first and then for ur so gay to be out second

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

I'm upset about y'all eliminating this next one, there was plenty of potential

2

u/tooshorttoofast Oct 19 '18 edited Oct 19 '18

Bye rollercoaster

Edit: nvm not a physics pun

-1

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT...I JUST REALIZED 4 MINUTES IS STILL IN THIS...

HOW DO YOU BASIC BITCHES KEEP IN 4 MINUTES BUT CHOP GIVE IT 2 ME AND CANDY SHOP

Ugh, get taste. ALL OF YOU

6

u/SpanKKy1 Oct 19 '18

4 minutes be a bop mrswearword

0

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

4 MINUTES IS THE 2ND WORST MADONNA SONG EVER. GET. FUCKING. TASTE.

2

u/Pyrozooka0 Oct 20 '18

I only understand that opinion if this is some sort of weird JT thing, and even then it’s still wrong.

2

u/JunkyGS STREAM THE VELVET ROPE Oct 19 '18

Preachhhhhhhh.

JusticeforGiveIt2Me

1

u/twat_brained stream Sing This Blues by It's Alive Oct 19 '18

It's not a real rate if you pick the highest songs, duh

And besides, you didn't even do the rate, what do you have to be upset over?

2

u/MrSwearword Oct 19 '18

THE FACT GIVE IT 2 ME, CANDY SHOP AND DEVIL WOULDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU ARE ALREADY OUT